Sonic Syndrome
by Metal Sonic EX
Summary: I, MSX, move into the Sonic household and begin terrorizing the crap out of them. Rated for humor, Sonic bashing, and a large overdosing of puns. Cowritten with Kinetikai, author of Death Bologna. [Complete]
1. Meet Metal Sonic EX

Sonic Syndrome

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sonic characters, nor do I truly own Metal Sonic EX. It is my friend's idea and the credit goes to him. I'm merely using it as a penname.

Welcome to my first full-fledged Sonic fic! In this story, I move into the Sonic residence and torment the living crap out of everyone there. Also, because Kinetikai is my best friend, there will be a lot of _Death Bologna_ references. Anyways, there's a lot to do so let's get started. Here's episode numero uno!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Episode 1

Meet Metal Sonic EX

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Narrator - It's a peaceful day at the Sonic residence. All is fine and happy.

(The camera moves to the inside of the house. Sonic and Shadow are playing Sonic Adventure 2: Battle. Tails is reading a book at a little table in the corner and Amy is sunbathing on the patio next to him. Cream and Cheese walk into the kitchen and disappear from view.)

Narrator - Yes sir. All is well. But even now, a dark cloud is creeping into their future…

Sonic - Do me a favor.

Shadow - Yeah.

Sonic Stop winning!

Shadow - But that takes the fun out of it.

(Cream screams.)

Sonic - Tails, go check that would you?

(Tails rolls his eyes and walks into the kitchen. He screams and walks out with a note.)

Tails - What's this?

(Tails hands Sonic a note and Shadow glances over at it. It reads 'Tell group about MSX'.)

Sonic - Dunno.

Shadow - Oh yeah. That's mine. He's moving in.

(Everyone freezes and the sliding glass door cracks.)

Sonic - Dude, that's like, inviting the Devil over for an eternal visit or something.

Shadow - His house burnt down and he's got no place to go.

Sonic - He probably burnt it down in the first place.

Muffled Voice - How'd you guess?

(All eyes turn towards the door.)

Muffled Voice - Oh, give me a second.

(A head smashes through the door. It is a robotic hedgehog's head that highly resembles Metal Sonic. It is black with silver streaks on his head. Sharp, pointed teeth line its' mouth and it actually moves when it talks.)

Robotic Hedgehog - Heeeere's Johnny!

(Everyone remains silent.)

Sonic - Hi. We were just talking about you.

M(etal) S(onic) (E)X - Really? Oh, where are my manners.

(MSX pulls his head out of the door and it magically repairs itself with the click of his middle finger and thumb.)

(A.N. If you haven't guessed, I've going to refer to myself in the third person. Don't be bugged by it, I just feel like doing it like that.)

(The doorbell rings, then an axe is taken to the door three times before MSX sticks his head back through the door.)

MSX - Heeeere's Johnny!

Sonic - Hi. Hey. How ya doing?

(Sonic and Shadow go back to playing SA2 Battle.)

MSX - So rude. I'll have to fix that.

(MSX pulls his head out of the door and walks through it. He has silver streaks running along his arms and legs as well. A cloth similar to the _Sonic Heroes_ Metal Sonic flaps behind his waist. He carries two suitcases and looks towards Tails and Cream.)

MSX - You there! Worthless Sega creations! Come and carry my bags!

Tails - We're not slaves and you're not a slave driver. (gets whipped) OW!

MSX - (is suddenly dressed as slave owner) I am now. Now get these here bags to my room 'fore I whip ya 'gain!

(Tails grumbles and picks up one of the suitcases. Cream picks up the other one. Together, they begin to walk up the stairs.)

Sonic - That was somewhat amusing.

MSX - (goes back to normal) I know. But don't get me wrong! The only Sonic-type characters I don't like are Bean, Bark, and… Metal Sonic.

Sonic - You've got to admit. He is pretty cool though.

MSX - Yes, he is. But this is the fanfic world. And in this world, I loath him. Speaking of loathing, I feel like being malevolent. (Snaps middle finger and thumb again)

(A cry is heard and Tails falls down the stairs. Just before he gets up, the suitcase lands on top of him.)

MSX - I thought I told ya to get that bag to my room! How many times am I gonna hafta whip ya in order to get ya to listen?

(Tails grumbles again and begins climbing the stairs again.)

Shadow - What's with the fingers?

MSX - In the fanfic world, that's how I use my author powers. Observe. (snaps fingers)

(Amy, who is still sunbathing, suddenly lights on fire and disintegrates.)

Sonic - Woohoo!

MSX - Oh, that makes you happy does it? In that case… (snaps fingers three times)

(Three Amy Clones pop up around Sonic.)

Sonic - AGH!

Amy Clones -Come Sonic. Marry us. Marry us. Marry…

Sonic - Make it stop!

(The clones disappear and a rather sunburnt one reappears.)

Amy - What just happened?

Sonic - I glimpsed into hell itself.

MSX - Guess what? You're still in it! (laughs demonically)

Amy - What's he doing here? Visiting? Stopping by?

MSX - Moving in.

Amy - (screams) Run away! (runs through glass door)

Shadow - You're mean.

MSX - I'm not mean. I'm evil. From here on, my life will be 100 dedicated to torturing Sonic in any way possible.

Sonic - I thought you liked me though.

MSX - I do. But I like Shadow better.

(Sonic gapes as Shadow high-fives MSX.)

Sonic - You traitor!

(Tails and Cream walk back down.)

Tails - Anything else, my liege?

MSX - Yes, where is the nearest mode of transportation?

Shadow - That would be my van.

MSX - Then come, my minions. We shall travel to the IHOP to celebrate my coming!

Sonic - Why the IHOP?

MSX - They've got an all-you-can-eat special going on. Now move it!

Narrator - Minutes later…

Sonic - Should we be letting MSX drive?

MSX - Are you kidding? (laughs) Of course not! (swerves onto sidewalk) Twenty points for every pedestrian we hit!

Narrator - Several more minutes later…

MSX - Spoilsport.

Shadow - (is driving) Thanks for nearly getting me arrested.

MSX - My apologies.

Amy - Is he gone? (pokes head out of the far back seat)

MSX - (turns around) Is who gone?

Amy - (screams and retreats back into her hiding place)

MSX - I'm so lonely…

(Shadow slows down as they approach a red light. MSX turns and looks out of the window. His eyes shrink before becoming crimson.)

MSX - Wait here. (undoes seatbelt)

Shadow - What are you doing?

MSX - (opens door) Just wait here.

(MSX walks over to car where a man is talking on the cell-phone. He punches through the window and yanks him out of the car.)

Man - Holy…

MSX - Hang up the phone.

Man - Bite me!

MSX - (does so) Anything else?

Man - (now bleeding from arm) Psycho!

MSX - No, you're the psycho. Talking on a phone while driving. You kind of people make me sick and your kind usually winds up dead. So let me give you a head start.

(MSX slams the man onto the back of the car and grabs his underwear. He begins stretching it back abnormally far.)

MSX - Say hello to the slingshot to Heaven!

(MSX lets go and the man is sling-shotted into the sky. He disappears into the clouds. The phone falls into his hand.)

Man On Phone - Hello? Can you hear me now?

MSX - Yes. But in your case, that's a bad thing. (snaps fingers)

(The sound of a fire being started and the man's screams are heard on the other end.)

MSX - Save it until later next time. (hangs up)

(MSX returns to the van and shuts the door.)

MSX - Let this be a lesson to you. (fastens seatbelt) If you're on my nice list, you're golden. But if you're on my bad list, you'll wish you'd never been born. Understand?

(Flames surround MSX and Shadow scoffs.)

Shadow - Not the seats!

(The flames disappear, but the burnt seats remain.)

MSX - Sorry.

Narrator - Once at the IHOP…

Cream - Can you please pass the syrup?

Sonic - (scarfing down pancakes) Silence you!

MSX (also scarfing down pancakes) That's my job! Silence you! (throws syrup at Cream)

Amy - Hey, you're robotic! You don't eat.

MSX - (pauses) Yes, I do. Watch.

(MSX takes a stack of pancakes and everyone stops eating to watch. MSX opens a panel in his chest and puts the pancakes in it. He closes and begins to vibrate. Seconds pass and a bell is heard.)

Robotic Voice - Food digested.

MSX - See?

Amy - Weird…

Shadow - Yeah… Speaking of which, how is that guy you shot into Heaven?

MSX - I dunno. I'm sure he's fine though.

Narrator - Elsewhere…

(The camera shifts to a busy intersection. A slight scream is heard and it gradually grows louder until the man falls into the back of a semi truck.)

Man - My back! Ow, my… Hey! Taquitos! Mmmm…

Narrator - Back at the IHOP…

MSX - See? He's fine. His back's broken, but he's got a ton of taquitos.

Cream - What are taquitos?

MSX - They're Mexican fruit roll-ups.

Tails - No, they're not!

MSX - Shh! It's my brainwashing process! You'll screw it up!

Tails - Whatever…

Narrator - A half-hour later…

(MSX is playing Shadow in Sonic Adventure 2: Battle. Unlike last time, Shadow is losing. Horribly.)

Shadow - Argh! I thought you hated Metal Sonic!

MSX - I do! But he's my best character. He's got no specials, but he's got excellent acceleration.

(The doorbell rings.)

Tails - Yes? Oh thank you.

MSX - Are you serious?

(As Tails accepts a package, MSX storms up to the postal worker.)

MSX - Swift and efficient service, my blue-plated posterior! I went to McDonalds, had four and a half heart attacks, was in a coma for a year, and even managed to create world peace! All of this while I waited for you to arrive! IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT!

(The postal worker freaks and runs.)

MSX - Yes, run you jelly roll! Run like the wind 'cause next time I need a package delivered, I'll call Fed-Ex! (slams the door shut) Well, I'm glad that's over.

Tails - You're weird.

MSX - Get used to it. You're stuck with me now.

Tails - Whatever… So, what's this?

MSX - A little something I got Sonic… Three years ago…

Sonic - Really? Sweet! Tails, open it!

Tails - Um, are you sure it's not a trick?

Sonic - Shut up and open it! I want my present!

(Tails rolls his eyes and begins to unwrap it. Before it's fully unwrapped, a boxing glove on a spring breaks loose and punches Tails in the face, knocking him out.)

MSX - Oh darn. Looks like Tails got your present instead. Oh well…

Shadow - You're, like, a freak.

MSX - (smiles) I know. But I'm a freak who lives with you. (frowns again) Now get used to it. I'll be here for a while. Speaking of which… Hey, Cream! PUNT!

(Cream runs around the corner and is immediately kicked through the roof and into the sky.)

Sonic - What was that for?

MSX - No reason. I've decided I don't like Cream that much either. But I like her better than Bean, Bark, and… Metal Sonic…

Sonic - So, why'd you do that?

MSX - Dunno. But she'll be back.

Shadow - When?

MSX - In the next episode.

Amy - So, when's this one going to end?

MSX - Right now.

Amy - Right now?

MSX - Right now.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Tune in next time when MSX becomes the figure of evil itself. Literally. So, Read and Review and I'll continue!


	2. The Ultimate Evil

Sonic Syndrome

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sonic characters, nor do I truly own Metal Sonic EX. It is my friend's idea and the credit goes to him. I'm merely using it as a penname.

Welcome again to my first full-fledged Sonic fic! In this chapter, Metal Sonic EX turns himself into the ultimate evil. Here's episode numero dos!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Episode 2

The Ultimate Evil

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Narrator - After getting settled in, Metal Sonic EX and Co. begin debating the Sonic games.

Sonic - I like the original best!

Tails - I like Sonic 2!

Shadow - No one cares what you like! But personally, I like Shadow The Hedgehog.

Sonic - That's 'cause you're in it!

Shadow - So?

Amy - I like…

(MSX walks in front of Amy. She screams and jumps out of the window, landing in the dumpster.)

MSX - Yes, weird… Anyways, personally, Sonic 3 & Knuckles is by far my favorite game.

Sonic - Why?

MSX - I just love it. I can beat it easily, but nonetheless…

(Knuckles walks in.)

Knuckles - I heard my name mentioned!

MSX - Oh no. Run. It is Prof. Gullible himself.

Knuckles - I'm not gullible!

MSX - The Master Emerald is being stolen.

(Knuckles screams like a little girl, jumps out of the window, and glides away.)

MSX - Told you. So anyways, where were we?

(A scream gradually grows louder until Cream falls through the ceiling and onto the floor. Cheese flies in after here.)

MSX - Oh, lovely! Now we got the little midget Chao to deal with. Honestly, Cream! You make him look like he's going to perform a magic trick or something.

(Cream is helped up by Tails and they both turn to glare at MSX. However, he is being surrounded by flames like an anime devil or something.)

Shadow - Uh oh. He's spewing benevolence again.

Sonic - Um… Don't you mean malevolence?

Shadow - Oh! Right. He's spewing _malevolence_ again.

(MSX begins spinning as energy gathers around his body.)

MSX - (in demonic tone) Behold! The ultimate evil!

(MSX begins shrinking into a small orb of energy and when the flames and energy disappeared, a popping sound is made.)

MSX - Well, that should do it.

(MSX looks up and everyone is looking down at him. He stands there and scratches his butt before responding.)

MSX - What? Wait… Looking down?

(MSX looks down and recoils in horror. The camera pans out to show the bad news.)

MSX - What… What the crap? I turned myself into a chibi! A freakin' chibi!

(Someone plays the first four notes of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony on an organ and everyone turns to him. Tails, dressed like the Phantom of the Opera, cracks his knuckles before playing the next four. Suddenly, a tomato is thrown at him.)

Tails - Ow! Hey! What the crap!

MSX - (is throwing tomatoes at Tails) Stop that! Your abnormally ironic timing peeves me. So stop that! Stop that, I say! (continues throwing tomatoes)

Narrator - So, after running out of tomatoes, then running after Tails, MSX decides to make the best of his situation…

MSX - How the hell do I make the best of this situation!

Narrator - Sort of…

MSX - I mean, this sucks! I can't even summon demons or anything. (swings hand and shoots demon out of it)

(Everyone's eyes grow huge. All eyes turned to MSX's hand, then the wall, then back to the hand. Finally, everyone turns to look at Sonic at the same time.)

Sonic - Hey! Why'd everyone look at me?

Shadow - We've been with MSX for not even a day and we already know how he works. Like so. Demon shoots out of hand. 'Did I shoot a demon out of my hand?' Looks at the damage it does. 'Why not use it on Sonic?' See? Simple.

Sonic - I fail to see your logic…

MSX - Here, let me put it as simple as I can.

Narrator - Seconds later…

(Sonic is running down the street with Shadow's van chasing him. MSX is poking his head out of the window and is frequently shooting demons from his hands.)

MSX - Faster, Shadow! I think we're losing him!

Narrator - Much later…

MSX - Well, that was enjoyable.

Shadow - What? The part of shooting demons at Sonic or the part of running Knuckles over?

MSX - Both!

Knuckles - Pain… Welling up… Inside… Body parts… Pain… Hurts… Very much so…

MSX - Shut up, you! (kicks Knuckles)

Sonic - So, although I don't like the old MSX too much, how do we get him back?

Tails - I've got it!

Shadow - For your sake, I hope it's the money you owe me.

Tails - Oh… I'm still working on that. But, for right now, I'd like to get the old MSX back.

MSX - I'd like to see you try! (gets shocked) Agh! Why you… (electrocutes Tails)

Tails - Ah! Hey, I'm trying to help!

MSX - I've got a better idea. I hear Little Jimmy is stuck in the well again.

Tails - So?

MSX - Go save him, Lassie. (pushes Tails out of window)

Tails - (begins flying) You know I can fly, right?

MSX - Easy fix.

(MSX snaps his magic fingers and Tails keeps flying. All eyes look at something behind him and, as he turns around, an Apache shoots him down and flies off.)

MSX - Yuk yuk.

Sonic - Odd…

Shadow - So, how do we get you back to normal?

MSX - How should I know? Wait… I do know…

Knuckles - Well?

MSX - I thought I told you to be quiet! (kicks Knuckles again)

Knuckles - Ouchie biscuits!

Sonic - You were saying?

MSX - I know this old man. He's obsessed with voodoo and other worldly magic. He knows everything there is to know about this 'magic' thing. He's even a level 99 elven paladin in D&D. And his name is…

(The scene suddenly changes to the front end view of a giant mansion.)

Sonic - Bill Gates!

MSX - Actually, no.

(The camera turns to show a bum living in a box next to the mansion.)

MSX - Hey, Clyde.

Clyde - What up?

MSX - As you can see, I've gone through a slight… transformation…

Clyde - Mhhmm… I see… This is actually quite simple to answer.

MSX - How do I fix myself?

Clyde - You used malevolence to become chibi, right?

MSX - Yeah. So?

Clyde - So, try being nice.

MSX - Nice! I don't know the meaning of it!

Clyde - It's either that or remain like this forever.

MSX - Hey, Sonic! How ya doin'? Can I buy you lunch?

Sonic - You're really freaking me out here.

Clyde - Oh, and your mail came. (gives MSX letter)

MSX - Ack!

Shadow - What? Who's it from?

MSX - It's from Bean, Bark, and… Metal Sonic…

Sonic - You really don't like them, do you?

MSX - No… Eh. (opens letter)

Cream - What's it say?

MSX - …

Amy - Well?

MSX - …

Rogue - I'm waiting…

MSX - Where'd you come from?

Rogue - Do you honestly think that you're the only one who knows Clyde?

MSX - …Yes…

Rogue - Oy!

Tails - Read it!

MSX - It says 'Tails is gonna die today! Hope you don't mind. Signed, Bean, Bark, and… Metal Sonic…

Tails - It does not say that!

MSX - Yea, it does. See?

(The camera reveals that the letter does say that.)

Tails - Oh…

(Tails suddenly turns and begins running for it. Suddenly, the three figures appear and shoot Tails with a rocket launcher. MSX lunges for the three of them as they laugh their heads off and Shadow easily grabs him.)

MSX - Come on! I want to kill them! Kill them I say!

(A 'boink' is heard and MSX falls to the ground at his normal size.)

MSX - Well, that… Um…

Bean - It wore off! Run for it!

(MSX starts and quickly begins chasing after the three figures as they run for it.)

MSX - You pricks! I'll kill you, ya hear! KILL YOU!

Shadow - Well, all's well that ends well, I guess.

Sonic - Yes, but Tails is dead and Knuckles is almost the same way.

Shadow - So?

Sonic - Good point. Got the camcorder?

Shadow - (pulls one out of nowhere) Always.

(Sonic and Shadow take off after MSX as Rogue moves a board game piece.)

Rogue - Checkmate.

Clyde - Aw, peanut brittle!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------In the next chapter, some scientific phenomena takes place and Tails, who gets resurrected, forces the group to the ruins in Tikal. Until then, Read and Review. I know where you live…


	3. Scientific Mumbo Jumbo

Sonic Syndrome

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sonic characters, nor do I truly own Metal Sonic EX. It is my friend's idea and the credit goes to him. I'm merely using it as a penname.

Welcome once more to my first full-fledged Sonic fic! In this chapter, some scientific phenomena takes place and Tails, who gets resurrected, forces the group to the ruins in Tikal. Here's episode number three!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Episode 3

Scientific Mumbo-Jumbo

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Narrator - After returning home and resting for the night, some odd occurrences begin taking place…

Shadow - Who moved the coffee pot!

Narrator - Very strange indeed…

(Moments later, everyone is sitting in the living room. Shadow is sipping at a piping hot cup of coffee.)

Shadow - 'Bout freaking time. Where'd you come from anyway?

Knuckles - Well, after I realized MSX lied, I flew back here and moved the coffee pot.

Shadow - You thought MSX drank coffee?

Knuckles - He eats food, doesn't he?

Shadow - Touché. (sips coffee) And where the crap did you come from?

Tails - Oh, I was resurrected somehow. Why?

Shadow - No reason. (sips coffee) And where on God's green earth did _you_ come from?

Cream - Hey! I live here too!

Shadow - Ah yeah… My bad… (sips coffee)

Tails - I just had a thought! (runs off)

Shadow - That's new. (sips coffee)

Sonic - Um… Shadow?

Shadow - Yeah? (sips coffee)

Sonic - You do know that cup is empty, right?

(Shadow, who's been squinting his eyes all this time, looks into the cup and sees that it is in fact dry. It's so dry, it doesn't look like it's been used in days.)

Shadow - Mother fu-

MSX - And that's why this is a T-rated fanfic! Next scene!

(The scene changes to the door leading into Tails' lab. Sonic, Amy, Cream, and MSX all gather by it as a cup is thrown at a nearby wall. Shadow storms into the camera's view, releasing a torrent of curses. He storms into the next room while no one even notices him. Tails suddenly pops out of the door.)

Tails - Eureka!

Sonic - You found gold!

Tails - Yes! I mean… No. I mean… Wait… What?

MSX - Never mind. What's going on?

Tails - It's a strange logical phenomena that only takes place every so often!

Sonic - …and in English terms?

Tails -That was English.

Sonic - Human English.

Tails - It's a massive contortion of the planet's revolutionary axis.

Sonic - Say again?

Tails - Energy is coming from different parts of the planet! Honestly!

MSX - Well, too bad. Look like we just missed it. However, using my mad author skills…

Narrator - One 'every so often' later…

MSX - There. See?

Shadow - I need my coffee!

Tails - Alright. The first reading of energy is coming from the ruins in Tikal. Let's go.

Knuckles - Who said we're going with you?

(A little while later, the group is suddenly at the entrance to Tikal.)

Knuckles - I didn't realize you could do that with a banana…

(Sonic lies on the ground in bandages as Tails is looking eagerly at the ruins.)

Tails - We made it! Say hello to Tikal!

(Everyone turns to Tikal and says hi. Suddenly, everyone starts, looks at her, and a long awkward silence follows.)

Knuckles - Awkward!

Tikal - So… Um… What are you doing here?

Shadow - Coffee!

MSX - Yes, we know. We're here because Tails fired a banana at us.

Tikal - A banana?

(MSX points to Sonic, who still lies in bandages.)

Tikal - Oh…

MSX - Yeah. Anyways, what do we do know, Einstein?

Tails - We go in.

Cream - Maybe we should knock first.

MSX - Maybe you should walk off a cliff.

Cream - Okay!

(Everyone turns and watches as Cream hurtles herself off of a nearby cliff.)

Tikal - Odd…

MSX - Yes… Very…

(Amy walks up dressed as an average tourist.)

Amy - Finally, a nice vacation where I can relax, enjoy the weather, and not be around that creepy robot.

MSX - I'm not creepy.

(Amy screams, grabs her bags, and runs away.)

Tikal - Wasn't the cliff that way?

(Amy's scream is heard again, but it gradually grows lower until it stops abruptly.)

MSX - I believe that it was. Ah well. Onward!

(Inside the ruins, the group comes across a round, pipe-like cave.)

MSX - I'll investigate this.

Tails - Be my guest.

Shadow - Coffee!

MSX - Quiet, you!

(MSX steps into the cave and begins walking into it.)

MSX - You know what I just realized?

Knuckles - What?

MSX - I'm bringing in new Sonic characters in every episode so far.

Tikal - Really? And the point of that is what now?

MSX - No point. Hey, there's another path higher up here.

Tails - What's in it?

Shadow - Coffee!

MSX - No, not coffee. It looks like… Looks like… AH!

Tails - What? What is it?

MSX - Not what! Who!

(Big the Cat walks towards the end of the upper path.)

Big - Dumdedumdedum… Lookin' for Froggy. Dumdedumdedum… Oops! I tripped. Dumdedumdedum…

MSX - I shall now run for my life. AH!

(Big trips and falls to the ground below like a boulder. As MSX turns and begins running, the Big boulder begins rolling after him.)

MSX - This is just like Indiana Jones! Just with a character no one likes!

Tails - Run, MSX! Run!

(MSX jumps out of the cave and continues running as the Big boulder chases him.)

Tails - Looks like you're in _big_ trouble now! Yuk yuk…

MSX - You'll get it for that pun! I swear you will!

(As MSX runs out of Tikal, the group continues moving inside. Eventually, they come across the Perfect Chaos mural.)

Knuckles - Whoa…

Tails - Weird…

Shadow - Coffee…

Sonic - Pain…

Tikal - How are you not bandaged anymore?

Sonic - Well, I've got my arms in a sling. That's about it. It's called gradual recovery. Everybody does it.

Tails - Oh, you understand _that_ perfectly…

Sonic - I know. Nothing could go wrong now. Right?

(All eyes, except Sonic's, look up as the mural's top half begins to hang out.)

Sonic - Right? Guys… Hello…

(The mural falls off the wall and lands on top of Sonic.)

Knuckles - Sweet!

Tails - Sonic!

Shadow - Coffee!

(MSX walks up holding an abnormally large magnet.)

MSX - Ah, hurting Sonic brings a warm fuzzy feeling to my heart.

Tikal - But, robots don't have hearts.

MSX - Actually, I do.

Tikal - Really?

MSX - Sort of. At least, that's what is was last time I looked. I'm positive it's a big swirling ball of darkness now.

Tikal - Oh…

Tails - My…

Knuckles - Kneecap…

(A large hole sits where the mural was. Everyone but Shadow climbs up onto the ledge.)

Tails - _This_ is the signal I got! What is this?

Knuckles - You tell me. It looks like beans.

MSX - What is it?

Shadow - Coffee?

Tails - As ironic as I think this is, yes. It is.

Shadow - COFFEE!

(Shadow lunges through the hole and begins to swim through all of the coffee beans while repeatedly opening his mouth a swallowing mouthful after mouthful of it.)

Knuckles - And it's not even liquidated yet…

Tails - Something tells me that he's going to be hyper for a loooooong time.

MSX - Based on my calculations, this should only last…

(A single slip of paper emerges from where MSX's belly button should've been.)

MSX - …thirteen years… THIRTEEN YEARS?

(MSX turns around and runs out of the room. He returns seconds later with Big.)

MSX - FISH, YOU MORON! FISH!

(Big shrugs and casts his line. He immediately reels it in without letting Shadow grab a hold of it.)

Big - Darn, I didn't get anything.

MSX - AH!

Narrator - Many hours later…

Tails - How long is it gonna last now?

MSX - Eternity… If we're lucky…

Knuckles - Lovely…

(Big casts his line again as a much wider Shadow continues to eat the coffee beans.)

MSX - You really are worthless, ya know?

Big - Know what? Wha!

(MSX pushes Big into the coffee bean ocean and he is promptly eaten by Shadow. Shadow suddenly stops and begins to what looks like spit up a hairball.)

MSX - Trust me. That's no hairball.

(Shadow opens his mouth and vomits up a sea of coffee bean juice.)

Tails - That is the nastiest thing I've ever seen. And no, I won't look.

(MSX stops, shrugs, and puts something back into a paper bag. As he does so, Shadow lands back on the ledge with the others. He looks sick to his stomach, but he's back down to his normal size. The ruins also begin to shake as a loud voice is heard.)

Loud Voice - Hahahahaha! You've angered the Colombian Coffee guy and you've eaten the beans of the Starbucks! Now, this will become your Maxwell House! Prepare to become one with the fool Tim Hortons! Now you shall…

MSX - Enough coffee puns!

Loud Voice - Oh… Um… Sorry…

MSX - Geez louise!

Knuckles - Now what?

(The giant rock snake from Lost World slithers by and MSX steps onto it with Tails and Knuckles. Tikal pushes Shadow onto it, then jumps on herself, leaving Sonic crushed under the mural.)

Sonic - Help… Anybody… Please… It really hurts under here… Guys… Hello…

Narrator - And so the daring escape of our heroes…

MSX - …_and_ villain!

Narrator - …_and_ villain begins. What challenges await? Who gives a crap?

MSX - Well, me for one.

Narrator - Well, I didn't ask you.

MSX - You know what? Never mind.

Narrator - Fine.

(The rock snake continues riding the coffee bean vomit and the group finally meets up near its' head.)

MSX - Alright. Here's the plan. Let's just ride this thing until the end. We can't be that high up, right?

(The snake emerges from the ruins and begins plummeting to the ground several hundred feet below with the vomit.)

MSX - Ah…

Tails - Wait! Who's that?

MSX - (squints eyes) I dunno. It's probably nobody important.

Narrator - Meanwhile, down below…

Yuji Naka - Hi, kids! Yuji Naka here at the ruins in Tikal looking for inspiration for my new Sonic game. This trip cost an arm and a leg, so I'll be very annoyed if something out of the ordinary happens.

(Yuji Naka is suddenly drenched by the flow of vomit.)

Yuji Naka - What the… This smells like coffee! What the fu-

(The giant rock snake suddenly lands on top of Yuji Naka, crushing him flat.)

Knuckles - Oh my God… We just crushed Mario's creator…

MSX - It's Sonic.

Knuckles - We just crushed Sonic's creator…

Tails - So… What now…

Shadow - Coffee…

MSX - My plan is run like hell back to the house.

Tails - All in favor say I.

Tikal - I.

Knuckles - I.

Shadow - Coffee…

MSX - Then it's settled…

(The group jumps up and runs away screaming as MSX drags Shadow along.)

Narrator - Back at the house…

(Shadow is covered in a warm blanket and is happily drinking a hot cup of coffee.)

Shadow - Mmmm… Coffee. The brownish liquid of life.

(MSX walks in and suddenly contorts his face.)

MSX - Yeah… Ya know, I think Tails left the brownish liquid of death up there for you…

Tails - Oops!

(Tails runs up the stairs and MSX starts.)

MSX - So you're the one who never flushes!

Tikal - So… Um… About the others…

MSX - They'll just randomly appear in the next episode.

Tikal - Really?

MSX - Yeah. Hey! Almost forgot!

(MSX snaps his magic fingers and a loud grinding noise is heard. Then, Tails starts screaming bloody murder.)

MSX - Maybe taking a dump on the toilet blender will teach him some manners. Yuk yuk…

Shadow - You're cruel…

MSX - What's this? (picks up piece of paper)

Shadow - Well? What is it?

MSX - Nothing. It's just the note from Bean, Bark and… Metal Sonic…

Shadow - You're obsessed with them, aren't you?

MSX - If by obsessed, you mean wishing every moment of my life that they'd die a horrible, fiery death, then yes. I am.

Shadow - Right…

Knuckles - I could use some coffee too, ya know…

MSX - Fix it yourself, you pansy!

Shadow - Mmmm… Coffee…

MSX - And cut that out!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------In the next chapter, MSX gets annoyed with Sonic's cockiness and he starts criticizing the classic games. Until then, Read and Review and I'll continue!


	4. Criticizing The Classics

Sonic Syndrome

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sonic characters, nor do I truly own Metal Sonic EX. It is my friend's idea and the credit goes to him. I'm merely using it as a penname.

In this chapter, MSX gets annoyed with Sonic's cockiness and he starts criticizing the classic games. I've been wanting to do this for a while and stuff in this chapter _are_ in fact real. Well, you'll see what I mean. For now, here's episode number four!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Episode 4

Criticizing The Classics

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Narrator - After there brief… incident… Shadow begins to act weirder…

(A coffee machine in the kitchen goes 'ding'. Shadow, who was asleep on the living room couch, springs to life, but keeps his eyes squinted.)

Shadow - Wha… Coffee!

Tails - Looks like Tim Horton heard some brew.

MSX - Enough with the coffee puns!

Narrator - Yes. A very… brief… incident…

MSX - (perks up) Do you hear that?

(Loud guzzling noises are heard in the kitchen. Tikal walks out of it and grimaces.)

Tikal - Yeah. And unfortunately, I see it too.

MSX - No! Not that. Listen…

(A brief silence follows.)

MSX - (in superhero tone) This calls for Sonic-bashing!

(A scream is heard on the second floor of the house.)

MSX - (still in superhero tone) Away!

(MSX thrusts his hand forward and proceeds to fly up the stairs. Tikal and Tails slowly scale the stairs and peek into Sonic's room. MSX is currently beating the snot out of Sonic in… Super Smash Bros. Melee! -the first four notes of Beethoven's Fifth plays-)

MSX - Yes! Get him my undersized minions! Kill him!

(Sonic is Kirby and MSX are the Ice Climbers. The currently lives stand at MSX -99. Sonic - 3.)

MSX - Not so cocky now, are you!

Sonic - I shall be avenged!

MSX - No, you won't. No one gives a crap about you. They only care about Shadow.

(Shadow walks in with a bathrobe on, bunny slippers, a hot cup of coffee, and his trademark squinty eyes. He turns to MSX.)

Shadow - What did ya say 'bout me?

MSX - Nothing.

Sonic - (loses) Screw it. I like the classics better.

MSX - You like the N64 version?

Sonic - No. I'm talking about my games. They're so much better than…

(Mario pokes his head in the window and MSX immediately turns towards him.)

MSX - Fe fi fo fum! I smell the blood of an infidel!

(MSX begins to repeatedly smash Mario on the head with an inflatable hammer. Knuckles walks up with a knife in his hand.)

Knuckles - Would you like to use this instead?

MSX - Why… That's excellent!

(MSX's arm stretches out and passes Knuckles. Some shuffling is heard in the kitchen before his arm return's to its' normal size. MSX then proceeds to continue beating Mario's head in, just with a whisk.)

MSX - Be gone! Be gone I say!

(MSX picks Mario up by the overalls.)

MSX - In the name of the Lord, I cast thee into the trash!

(MSX throws Mario down into the dumpster and, as he goes to get up, the lid falls onto his head.)

Mario - Mama mia…

(MSX turns around and brushes his hands together. The whisk and inflatable hammer have miraculously disappeared.)

MSX - So, with that out of the way…

(MSX snaps his magic fingers and the gang is gathered in the front row of a college auditorium. This group includes Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, Shadow, Rouge, Cream, Cheese, Big, Tikal, and Clyde. MSX is dressed like Einstein and is standing on the stage with an odd chart behind him.)

MSX - Is everyone veady? Excellent! Ten, we shall start with da lecture.

(MSX throws the clothes and fake beard off with a single swing of his hand. Mario pokes his head up from the back row.)

MSX - I thought I told you to get lost!

Tails - (turns to Mario) Yes, I'd like a pepperoni and sausage pizza, please.

Sonic - Dude, he's a plumber.

Tails - Really? Well, his career went down the drain.

(A mysterious drummer appears next to MSX and executes a rimshot. Tails jumps and poses.)

Tails - I've got a million of 'em!

MSX - And you won't live to see 999,999. One more pun and you're outta here.

Tails - Aye aye, cap'n!

MSX - Alright then! Let's start off with the original.

Shadow - What's this all about? And what the hell did you do with my coffee!

MSX - I'm criticizing the classic games. The ones that Sonic treasures so dearly. Anyways, let's start off with the original.

(A small movie begins playing on a screen next to MSX. Sonic is being constantly thrown into spikes and dying. MSX starts and fumbles with a remote.)

MSX - Oops! This is what happened last time I played. Now, to turn this sucker off.

(MSX turns it off and all eyes turn to Sonic, who is gaping.)

MSX - Don't worry. If I wanted to do that to you, I would've done it already.

Sonic - …

MSX - First thing first: Graphics. Seeing as the Nintendo was the most 'advanced' system at the time, the change from 8-bit graphics to 16-bit graphics was a godsend.

(A pillar of light comes down upon MSX and he clears his throat. The light disappears.)

MSX - Plus, you revolutionized the platforming gaming industry forever. Music was great; level design was better. The bosses were semi-original, plus it brought you into existence. Yes, apparently God wanted to give me something to torture when I got bored.

Sonic - He's not like that!

(God's hand appears and he drops a cow on Sonic. The hand disappears.)

Tails - Holy cow!

(The drummer repeats the rimshot and Tails does his pose again.)

Tails - I got 999,999 of 'em!

(MSX pushes a button reading 'Mass Malevolence Machine' and Tails falls into a hole into the floor. Screams are heard and spirits try crawling out of the hole. The panels come together and shut.)

MSX - And as for you…

(MSX turns to the drummer, who is running up the aisle. Every time he steps down, the cymbals crash together. MSX pulls out a rocket launcher and blows him to smithereens.)

MSX - In case you're wondering where Tails went, it's a little place called Hell. It's where I plan on sending…

Rouge - I know… Bean, Bark, and… Metal Sonic… Right?

MSX - No… I was gonna say Sonic, but that works too.

Rouge - Oh…

MSX - Anyways, Sonic the Hedgehog. I give it…

(MSX smacks a pointer on the chart and one of the five grades appears on it.)

MSX - …an A-!

Tails - (appears for no reason) …b c d e f g! H I j k…

(Tails disappears in a flame as MSX shoots eye lasers at him.)

MSX - Now, Sonic 2. First off, the pros. Most important of them all, Super Sonic. Another is the seventh Chaos Emerald and more levels. The biggest con of them all? Tails. Plain and simple. Rest assured. I can _guarantee_ you this: If, with Sonic and Tails, you are going for the emeralds, you will not get past the fifth level without a second player.

Amy - He's not that stupid.

MSX - What! He's such a freaking moron! Moving a second after you do, costing you rings! Trust me, I've tried it the hard way.

Shadow - And?

MSX - I had to get my friend Kinetikai to help me.

Tikal - Kineti-who?

MSX - Kinetikai. The author of _Death Bologna_.

Big - Oh… Him…

Cream - I think he's creepy.

Kinetikai (miles away) - THE RABBIT WILL BURN!

MSX - (looks towards camera) You don't know the half of it.

Kinetikai - BURN, BUNNY, BURN!

MSX - (turns back to crowd) Aaaaaaaanyways… my rank for the second game is a… B! You can thank Tails for that.

Sonic - But he's in Hell.

Tails - No I'm not.

(All eyes turn to Tails, who is sitting next to Sonic.)

Tails - Satan didn't want me. Although, if I heard him correctly, I'm the eighth deadly sin.

Amy - Congrats…

MSX - Now, onto my favorite: Sonic 3! Great music! Great level design! Five levels of 2P action! And a saving feature? It's perfect! I give it an A!

Shadow - Ran through that awfully fast, didn't we?

MSX - Name one thing that's wrong with it.

(Both Shadow and MSX slowly turn to Tails.)

MSX - Touché.

Tails - Hey! You know what they say. Two tails are better than one.

Sonic - It's heads.

Tails - Was it? I don't remember. What was it, Amy? Heads or tails?

(Tails breaks into a mad torrent of laughter and breaks for the door. MSX begins shooting eye lasers at him as Tails runs out of the auditorium laughing his head off.)

MSX - Ugh… I'll get him for that. I swear. He's becoming like he is in _Death Bologna_. What with the horrible puns and all. Kinetikai's even assisting me in coming up with puns for him!

Sonic - For him? Does he need anymore?

MSX - Only God knows. Now, Sonic & Knuckles. Although Knuckles came in Sonic 3, this one let you play as him. Plus, the first level was longer than usual. Plus, the ever-so-memorable Doomsday Zone made its' world debut! I love that place! Anyways, the only thing wrong with it is how pathetically fast Hidden Palace is with Knuckles. Honestly, I can clear that thing in twelve seconds flat. Twelve seconds! I give S&K… a B!

Knuckles - Yay! I finally got a good grade in school!

(A long silence fills the room.)

Rouge - Knuckles, I think you need to stay away from Tails for a while.

Knuckles- Yes, ma'am.

MSX - Okay, next game. Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine.

(An awkward silence fills the room.)

MSX - Tell ya what… I'll just give this a C and call it quits.

Sonic - What? A C? It wasn't that bad.

MSX - Really? The puns in that game are so horrible, even Tails would shudder! Here's an example. The last robot you face before the final boss is a chicken named Scratch. These are his _exact_ words: You've been scratching around here for too long wormbait! It's time you crossed the road and head home, pal. I'm winning this one by fair means or fowl.

(A loooooong silence follows before the Sonic gang explodes. MSX snaps his magic fingers and they respawn in their seats.)

Sonic - That was the definition of 'bone-tingling'.

Shadow - Hell, that's the definition of 'blood-curdling'.

Knuckles - Are you kidding! That's the definition of 'motherf-'

Shadow - We get it. It's bad.

MSX - Isn't it? I rest my case. A C rank it is. Although, it's not bad. Considering it's a Puyo Puyo-type game. But nonetheless, I'll have to draw the line at Stage 5, Davy Sprocket.

(Another silence fills the room.)

Big - MOTHERFU-

MSX - Silence, purple idiot!

(MSX snaps his fingers and suddenly Big is transported into a nursing home filled with frisky old people.)

Frisky Old Person #1 - Hey, look! That cat is covered in applesauce.

Narrator - Oddly enough, Big was covered in applesauce.

Frisky Old Person #2 - We haven't eaten in three days! Let's get 'im!

Frisky Old Person #3 - Hold on! Lemme take my teeth out!

Big - AAAAAHHHHH!

MSX - Riiiiiiiiiight… Anyway, moving on. Next game, Sonic Spinball. The hardest of the Genesis games.

Sonic - Even _I_ had trouble with that game.

(MSX scoffs.)

Cream - You're just getting cocky now!

MSX - Maybe, but I can back myself up.

Narrator - Moments later…

MSX - (beats the game) Own.

Shadow - Point four seconds! That's not humanly possible!

MSX - It is now. As for grade, I think a B is good enough. I mean, four levels? I think one more would've been good. My all-time high score for this game is 220,840,392 points.

Shadow - Bull…

MSX - I swear my life on it! I got every ring, beat every bonus level, and didn't die once!

Sonic - Wow… You're, like, a freak at this.

MSX - Yes, I am. Now, onto the final of the Genesis games. But first thing first. (snaps magic fingers)

Rouge - What did ya do?

MSX - Silence, Bat Girl!

(For no reason, Knuckles begins bouncing up and down while smiling broadly.)

Sonic - What the…

MSX - It's his laugh from Sonic 3 & Knuckles. Speaking of which…

(MSX turns around and moves the background aside. There, a huge shrine to Sonic 3 & Knuckles is constructed. MSX kneels and grovels before a giant statue of Sonic before moving the background back.)

MSX - Anyways, now onto the last Genesis game. Sonic 3D Blast!

Amy - Oh boy…

Sonic - What?

(Sonic looks forward and MSX is standing right it front of him. His eyes are hidden in shadow, but two white sparkles indicate his eyes.)

MSX - I'm gonna have a field day with this.

Narrator - One painful beating up later…

(Sonic is in a full-body cast and a heart monitor beeps next to him.)

MSX - Five enemies to a level? The boss design? The level design? The special stage design? The lack of Super Sonic! The only good thing about this game is the music! I give this game a D, hands down.

Shadow - (whistles) Whoa…

MSX - I know. So, adding them all together. The overall grade for the Genesis games is… (does brief problem on a calculator) … a C! Not bad, but many things can be fixed. Like Tails involvement. Now, onto the Game Gear… Hehehe…

Sonic - (muffled) Oh no…

Narrator - And so, after much pain inflicting…

MSX - Ah, I feel so cleansed.

(The camera turns to show a grave, then pans out to reveal that it reads 'Here lays Sonic's left leg'. It pans out further to show about fifteen similar tombstones.)

MSX - Anyways, the last game is Sonic the Fighters. This game involves fighting Bean, Bark, and… Metal Sonic. Actually, this game gave birth to Bean and Bark. And… Metal Sonic…

Amy - Metal Sonic came in during Sonic CD.

MSX - I know. I just felt like adding that last part. Come, let us return home.

Narrator - Later, at the Sonic residence…

(Tails is hanging by his neck from the telephone pole and he's been fried to a crisp. Inside, MSX and Co. are watching TV. Suddenly, MSX starts.)

MSX - Quick! I must add a new character to the storyline before the episode ends!

(The window breaks in and Eggman, dressed like a ninja, falls in. He then jumps to his feet and tries to go into the crane stance, but falls over.)

Eggman - Hohoho! It is I, the great Eggman! And now, I'll knock you all out with my swift ninja powers!

(Eggman goes to karate chop Cream, but notices something and walks into the kitchen.)

Eggman - We meet again, my nemesis. You are the only thing I couldn't conquer. But rest assured, I will be victorious! Hahahahaha!

(Everyone gets a look of concern on their face as the camera moves up to reveal that Eggman has been talking to the staircase.)

Eggman - I'll conquer you one day! Yes, I will! I'll…

MSX - But until then, go away.

(MSX begins spraying Eggman with an old fashion bug sprayer thingy and Eggman hisses and jumps out of the window before running off.)

MSX - Moron repellent! Gotta love it! Now, come Sonic!

(MSX snaps his magical fingers yet again and Sonic reappears in front of him.)

Sonic - Hey, I'm alive! Wait… why?

MSX - I crave some more thrashing. Fetch the Genesis!

Sonic - NOOOOOOOOOO!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------In the next chapter, MSX gives an entire episode to honor Sega's failed creations. Until then, Read and Review and I'll continue!


	5. Tribute To Failed Sega Characters

Sonic Syndrome

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sonic characters, nor do I truly own Metal Sonic EX. It is my friend's idea and the credit goes to him. I'm merely using it as a penname.

In this chapter, MSX gives an entire episode to honor Sega's failed creations. Many of these games I've played/ own. Many of them are good too. For now, here's episode number five!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Episode 5

Tribute To Failed Sega Characters

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Narrator - After painfully beating up Sonic yet again, Tails mysteriously arises from the dead and continues cracking bad jokes…

Sonic - Speaking of pets, my friend Calvin's pet cricket has really bad breath.

Tails - Looks like super Calvin's fragile cricket's plagued by halitosis.

Sonic - What?

Shadow - (smacks face) Think Mary Poppins.

Sonic - (slaps face as well)

Tails - I got 999,998 of 'em!

Narrator - Yes… Very bad indeed…

MSX - Read this. (hands Narrator a piece of paper)

Narrator - What's this?

MSX - Just read it.

Narrator - 'All credit for the previous pun goes to Kinetikai. He's got a thousand of 'em.'

MSX - Thanks, Kinetikai! (waves at camera)

Narrator - Riiiiight…

(A short time later, everyone is sitting in the living room. Tikal, of all people, is strangling Tails.)

Sonic - Ten bucks says his head pops off!

Shadow - Ten bucks says Tikal pops a vein!

Cream - Ten bucks says candy comes out!

Tikal - MUST… DESTROY… SOURCE OF… PUNS!

MSX - I don't know why I didn't do that…

(The doorbell rings and all eyes turn to the door. MSX jumps up and answers it. A small star with a face is standing there.)

Short Star - Does MSX live hear?

MSX - (talking like game show host) Oooh… I'm sorry. The answer was Virginia.

Sonic - Hey, Ristar.

Ristar - Hey, Sonic.

Shadow - You know him?

MSX - (still talking like game show host) Know him? Heck! Sonic was originally intended to _be_ him!

Shadow - (starts) Really?

Ristar - I take it this is MSX?

MSX - (_still_ talking like a game show host) That depends! Who wants to know?

Ristar - Is this your handwriting?

(Ristar holds up a piece of paper with cut-outs of different magazines. It reads 'Come to MSX's house! Bring fish… OR SUFFER!')

MSX - (in normal tone) That it would. Come on in. Have some freshly made onion rings.

(Ristar walks in and MSX shuts the down. Tikal shrugs and goes back to strangling Tails.)

Ristar - What's with her? PMS?

Tails - (strained) What… kind… of key… doesn't… open doors? A… monkey!

(As Tails attempts to laugh, Tikal begins strangling him harder.)

MSX - Please, sit down.

Ristar - Right…

(Ristar sits between Sonic and Shadow. MSX sits down on the right cushion and Amy is on the left cushion.)

Sonic - So, how have you been?

Ristar - I've been good. Rescuing the galaxy and…

MSX - Save that thought!

(Suddenly, MSX reaches into the couch and pulls out a massive umbrella. He opens it and something explodes. MSX closes the umbrella and red is splattered everywhere. Knuckles walks in and spits out his orange juice.)

Knuckles - Oh my God! Tails' blew up!

Tikal - I'm… covered in… punny… TAINT!

(Tikal begins screaming and rolling on the ground while clawing at her skin.)

Ristar - Okay, she's snapped.

MSX - Yeah. She'll be like this the whole episode.

Shadow - Really?

MSX - Yeah. I'm honoring Sega's lesser-known masterpiece. Thus…

(MSX throws his hands in a presenting manner at Ristar.)

Ristar - I'm touched.

MSX - Speaking of being touched…

(The doorbell rings and again, all eyes turn to the door. MSX opens it and a similar version of Ristar stands there. Instead of the points of a star, he's got things like two long ears.)

MSX - Ah. This is Ristar's prototype, Feel.

Knuckles - Feel? What are you? A pedophile?

Cream - Pedophile! Where! Don't touch me! I'm sterile!

(Feel glares at her and stomps off.)

MSX - I feel like going to the aquarium!

Sonic - I don't like water.

MSX - I know!

Narrator - After one brief teleportation, courtesy of MSX Airlines…

MSX - Here we are!

Sonic - Why here? Of all places?

Tikal - TAINT!

Knuckles - Right…

MSX - Onward!

(Once inside, the group notices Big fishing in the shark tank. MSX pushes him in as he walks by and the Jaws theme begins playing. He looks around as a shark approaches him as the group walks on.)

Cream - I wonder how Mr. Big's doing?

MSX - Kinetikai's probably gonna be peeved with me.

Sonic - Why?

MSX - I did something he was gonna do, just with a train and not a shark.

Sonic - So what did ya do?

(All eyes turn towards the tank as Big is seen being dragging along the glass by the shark. He is wildly flailing his arms and bubbles are spewing from his mouth.)

MSX - I'm sure he's fine, Cream.

(Big is dragged back the other way.)

MSX - (faces forward) Yes… Fine… (walks on)

Narrator - Minutes later…

MSX - We're here!

Rouge - What's here?

MSX - What's with you always popping out of nowhere?

Clyde - What's with all of the questions?

Sonic - What the…

Clyde - How much wood could a woodchuck upchuck if a woodchuck could upchuck…

(Clyde turns to face camera.)

Clyde - …MANGOES! Ha cha cha!

(A splash is heard and all eyes turn to the tank as a dolphin swims to the glass.)

MSX - This is Ecco. One of Sega's best creations in my opinion, but it didn't get the attention it deserves.

Ristar - So… That's two. Who's next?

(MSX and the group mysteriously appear in a junkyard instantaneously.)

MSX - Earthworm Jim.

Shadow - He wasn't created by Sega.

MSX - No, but his games were on the Genesis. I rest my case.

(Earthworm Jim falls from the sky screaming and falls into a pile of junk. He jumps out and poses. His pants fall down.)

Amy - My sweet virgin eyes!

MSX - (turns to her) You haven't seen anything yet. Ha cha cha!

(Amy screams and runs away.)

MSX - I love doing that. Anyways, Jim, do me a favor.

Jim - (pulls up pants) Name it!

MSX - Show us your whip attack.

(Jim shrugs and pulls out his earthworm body. He then uses it as a whip, nailing Sonic on the butt.)

Sonic - Agh!

MSX - Hmmm… He may require discipline later… Jim! Follow!

(After following MSX through several landmine fields, they arrive where an odd statue is being constructed.)

MSX - Behold! The Statue of Vectorman!

Vectorman - Almost done!

(Vectorman pulls a wrecking ball into the camera's view and plops in place as a chest. Vectorman stands back and admires his work.)

Vectorman - Well, I'd say a job well done!

(The statue creaks, then falls apart.)

Vectorman - NOOOOO!

Ristar - So much for your 'statue'.

Vectorman - Big words coming from a small… star…

Ristar - Did you say something?

Vectorman - Yeah! You suck! At least I had a sequel!

Ristar - At least one of my games wasn't scrapped!

(Vectorman remains silent.)

Vectorman - That… (sniff) That really hurt…

Ristar - Look… I'm so-

Vectorman - KILL!

(Vectorman jumps on top of Ristar and the two begin beating each up to a pulp. MSX watches for a second or two before turning and leaving.)

MSX - Come. We have one more stop to make.

Tails - I'll get the batter!

MSX - On second thought…

Tails - What happened to the first? Yuk yuk…

(Moments later, the group exits a pet store with Tails stuffed into a wooden crate.)

MSX - For the last time, yes! Tell all the puns you want now.

(Intelligible things are said in the crate before a muffled torrent of laughter is heard.)

MSX - I'll just keep him in here for a while.

Sonic - How long is a while?

MSX - An episode or two.

(Eggman, in his little ship, hover down to block the group's path.)

Eggman - Mwahahaha! Now I've got you all!

(Sonic stands in a fighting pose, but jumps up when something is cut off of his head.)

Sonic - What the… How'd you get out?

Tails - I have my ways.

(All eyes turn to the mangled crate.)

MSX - May I?

Eggman - (talking sarcastically) Please, take all the time you need.

MSX - Thank you.

Sonic - So, what did ya do anyways?

Tails - Cut off a piece of hair.

Sonic - With what?

Tails - Hedge trimmers!

(Tails gets a goofy look on his face and turns to the camera. MSX hands the narrator another note and drags Tails off-screen.)

Narrator - Ahem… 'The following pun is a reference to Death Bologna.' Hmmm… Odd…

(Moments later, Tails is locked in a steel box with no holes at all.)

Rouge - How's he breath?

MSX - He doesn't.

Tikal - TAINT!

Knuckles - Finally. Now all we've got to worry about is her…

(All eyes turn towards Tikal and the scene suddenly changes to the faraway view of a cliff. Someone is pushed off of it and they fall screaming bloody murder to their flattening end.)

MSX - Now, as I was saying, to the final location!

(The scene changes to Station Square.)

Shadow - Why are we here?

MSX - Look behind you.

Shadow - I see a door.

MSX - Look up.

(All eyes turn to the blinking sign that reads 'Casinopolis'.)

Sonic - Why are we here?

MSX - 'Cause the final character is here. Cometh!

Jim - I really could go for some iced tea right now.

(Tails appears magically out of nowhere.)

Tails - Why? Is Mr. T in your freezer? Yuk yuk…

MSX - BACK IN THE FRICKIN' BOX!

Tails - Yuk yuk…

(Painful clobbering and packing sounds are heard.)

MSX - NOW! Continuing on…

(Once inside, the gang is greeted by Nights.)

Sonic - Duh! Of course! You've only been in like 3 games of mine!

Nights - Yes, and I enjoyed everyone of them. Except Adventure 1. The graphics on that made me shudder.

MSX - You are not alone my friend. Now, to do something I've wanted to do my whole life.

(The group suddenly appears in an open field. MSX walks over a hill only to return shortly.)

MSX - Follow!

(The group follows MSX to the top of the hill.)

Sonic - Oh dear…

(Every single Nintendo character is lined up on the hill on the other side of the field and they begin charging once Sonic finishes his sentence.)

MSX - Now, don't charge until you see the white of their eyes.

Shadow - They're so big, I can see them from here!

MSX - That's the point. CHARGE!

Narrator - After the mass ownage of another company and the delivering of a wedgie to Mario, the gang returns home…

MSX - Ah… It does my heart good to see a lesser company beaten down by another better company.

Sonic - But they've got more systems.

MSX - So?

Shadow - They've got more popular games.

MSX - Point being?

Rouge - What can we say to change you're mind?

MSX - Nothing. They came up with the Revolution, didn't they?

(Everyone goes 'Ah yeah…' in unison.)

MSX - I rest my case. In that moment alone, Nintendo bit the dust as a major company. If anyone is going to buy that thing, he'll probably be a lonely forty year old man who lives in a basement somewhere.

(The scene changes to Eggman holding a Revolution while standing in a basement.)

Eggman - What! I'm not forty! Besides, this controller freakin' rocks! It rocks my socks, daddy-o!

(The scene changes back to the Sonic household.)

MSX - Like I said…

Tikal - TAINT!

MSX - Oh, for crying out loud!

(MSX stands up and walks into the kitchen, where Tikal's voice came from. Many stabbing and blood splattering noises are heard before MSX reemerges.)

MSX - I'm glad that's done and over with.

Cream - What did you do?

MSX - I killed a spy hired by Bean, Bark, and… Metal Sonic…

Rouge - Yeah, that's starting to get old.

MSX - So are you. But, then again, we all are.

Sonic - And the point of that statement was to?

MSX - Stall for time! It's the end of the episode! Woot!

Shadow - Right…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------In the next chapter, MSX and the group celebrate Chao Day. Until then, Read and Review or suffer the consequences!


	6. Chao Day

Sonic Syndrome

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sonic characters, nor do I truly own Metal Sonic EX. It is my friend's idea and the credit goes to him. I'm merely using it as a penname.

In this chapter, MSX and the group celebrate Chao Day. I'm going to include all of my Chao from SA and SA2. Plus, I'm even bringing in my friend Kinetikai's Chaos. He'll also make an appearance in this episode. For now, here's episode number six!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Episode 6

Chao Day

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Narrator - After stabbing Tikal, she instantly recovers and walks into the living room as Cream skips through the door…

Tails - (muffled) Let's just _skip_ this little segment of the episode! Yuk yuk!

Narrator - Oh, for crying out loud!

Cream - Hi, everyone!

MSX - Why are you happy? My presence demands that you be unhappy! Tell me what is making you happy so I may hunt it down and destroy it.

Cream - It's Chao Day today!

MSX - Aha! A holiday! To the government! Away!

(MSX flies like Superman through the door and down the block.)

Sonic - Right…

Amy - Chao Day? Already? (squeals like a little piggy)

Shadow - Oh crap. I bet you anything that in ten minutes this place is going to be total midget-land.

Narrator - Ten minutes later…

Shadow - This is what I meant.

(Everyone looks around as the Munchkins run around busily.)

MSX - You know what they say.

(MSX wraps his arm around Shadow's and begins skipping.)

MSX - Follow the vomity trail! Follow the vomity trail!

(As MSX drags Shadow down a trail of vomit, reality sets in.)

Reality - KA-BAM!

MSX - (holding head) Oh… Geez… That felt like a train ran through here.

(A train suddenly drives through the center of the house and everyone looks at MSX.)

MSX - One more thing. I think Shadow is a hippie…

(Shadow suddenly pops into a hippie costume and deeply inhales on a joint.)

Shadow - Whoa… Man… I'm so not here… I mean… I'm here… But I'm not here…

MSX - Yeah…

Shadow - Dude… these fingers… they're like… EVERYWHERE!

(Shadow waves his arms around randomly.)

Shadow - It's like… Fingerworld… and I'm like… the finger log ride…

MSX - Right. That would do it. End dream sequence.

Shadow - FINGER!

MSX - End it!

(MSX opens his eyes and reactivates.)

MSX - I've really got to stop guzzling down oil before activating dream mode.

(MSX walks into the living room as the doorbell rings.)

MSX - What timing! Allow me.

(MSX glides to the door without moving a muscle and his head slowly turns towards the door. MSX opens the door and whoever is on the other side of it screams and runs off.)

MSX - I love scaring Amy. I'll have to lock her out more often.

(MSX shuts the door and walks over to the couch. He plops down and pokes Shadow.)

Shadow - Yes?

MSX - They call me Hokey-Pokey.

Shadow - Have we been seeing Tails too much lately?

MSX - Tails is in a metal box.

(Both pair of eyes turn to a metal box stuffed behind the couch.)

Tails - (muffled) I'm running out of puns!

MSX - That's good.

Cream - (skips in) It's Chao Day!

(The Psycho theme plays as MSX appears behind her, raises his hand, and stabs down while she screams numerous times. Everyone else just watch in concern as MSX hits Cream on the head with Cheese over and over again.)

MSX - Be gone! Be gone, demon!

Cream - Stop it! Stop hurting Cheese! You Chao hater!

(MSX suddenly stops.)

MSX - Well, I never! I have Chaos too, ya know!

Shadow - Give me a sec. I'll get animal control on the line.

MSX - NO! I take very good care of them. They are my Supa-Chao!

Shadow - Supa-Chao?

MSX - (In high-pitched voice) SUPA-CHAO! (In normal voice) You wouldn't understand. Behold the first of many!

(MSX snaps his magic fingers and a hero Chao appears in his hand. It has raccoon ears and arms and lacks feet.)

MSX - This is Chazzo, my first Chao.

(Chazzo looks at Cheese and his eye begins twitching. Chazzo flies to the ground and stares at Cheese before weird events take place.)

Chazzo - WHOTAW!

(Chazzo swiftly punches into Cheese's stomach and pulls his hand out with Cheese's heart. As it beats in Chazzo's hand, Cheese falls to the ground. Chazzo then leans his head back before taking a huge bite out of the heart. Everyone gets a disgusted look while MSX just gapes.)

MSX - Well, he's normally very nice. He makes origami. And doilies.

Rouge - I'm sorry. Did I hear that right? Did you say he makes doilies?

MSX - Yeah.

Rouge - Why?

MSX - He does have a sensitive side too, you know.

(Chazzo makes a demonic yelping sound and takes another bite out of the heart.)

MSX - Ummm… Let's watch TV.

(MSX picks up Chazzo and sits on the couch. The TV is turned on and Spongebob begins playing.)

MSX - Spongebob. Cool.

TV - Spongebob brought to you today in… GRAVY-VISION!

MSX - Speaking of which…

(MSX walks into the kitchen, then shouts for everyone to follow him.)

MSX - Shout!

Shadow - Let's go.

Narrator - Weird…

(MSX opens the fridge and reaches one hand into the fridge.)

MSX - I'm gonna use this character at least three times in this fanfic. This will be the first.

Rouge - Who? Bean, Bark, and… Metal Sonic…

MSX - …no… I was gonna say… Mr. Gravy Bag!

(MSX pulls a bag of beef tips in gravy out of the fridge and it suddenly grows legs, arms, and a face.)

Mr. Gravy Bag - Well, howdy-doodly-do!

Shadow - All in favor of saying that's disturbing, say aye.

(Everyone but MSX and Mr. Gravy Bag says aye.)

Mr. Gravy Bag - I feel so alone.

Shadow - Get used to it.

MSX - Let's see… The instructions say 'Puncture bag at least three times'. Okay.

(MSX takes a large knife and begins repeatedly stabbing Mr. Gravy Bag while laughing maniacally.)

Mr. Gravy Bag - Uh… Gravy blood… Oh… (dies)

Narrator - That was so fattening, I gained four pounds just listening to that. Four pounds… in GRAVY-VISION!

MSX - You there! Clean this up!

Cream - No! You killed my Chao!

(Chazzo puts on a headband and karate chops through the wall.)

Cream - Righty-o! Where's the mop?

(As Cream begins cleaning the mess, MSX takes Chazzo into the living room, where MASH is playing. For no reason, the group is suddenly dressed in army attire and MSX walks onto a stage dressed as a colonel.)

MSX - (talking like a drill sergeant) Listen up, you yellow-bellied pansies! Our intelligence has stated that this place…

(MSX uses an elastic pointing stick to point at the local supermarket on a map of the city.)

MSX - …has a five-for-three sale on…

(The camera zooms on MSX's face.)

MSX - …cream cheese…

(Everyone looks at each other in concern.)

MSX - This is Operation C.R.E.A.M.C.H.E.E.S.E.! NO mistakes can be made! Do I make myself clear!

(Everyone mutters responses.)

MSX - I said DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

Shadow - Sir! Yes, sir!

(Everyone turns to him.)

Shadow - What? I was in 'nam.

Sonic - No… You went and saw 'Saving Private Ryan'.

MSX - Yes, weird… Anyways, are you ready, General Chazzo?

(Everyone slowly turns to Chazzo, who has an over-sized bowl hat on that covers his eyes. Chazzo lifts the helmet and gives the thumbs-up.)

MSX - Very good. Move out!

(Everyone appears on a hill overlooking the supermarket parking lot. MSX pulls out a remote of some sort.)

MSX - Birdman to Bumburger. Birdman to Bumburger. Do you read me, Bumburger?

(After a few seconds, Clyde answers.)

Clyde - Bumburger here.

MSX - Where were you, corporal?

Clyde - Sorry, I had to drain the lizard.

MSX - Is the lizard properly drained?

Clyde - Yes, sir.

(Sonic smacks himself and Knuckles pokes his head up.)

Knuckles - Whatcha doin'?

Sonic - I could ask you the same thing. It smells like you been in a sewer?

(Knuckles flashes back to when he was trying to break into McDonalds by crawling through the sewer.)

Knuckles - Yeah… I was… Bird-watching…

Amy - You were bird-watching in a sewer?

Knuckles - Yes. I mean… No! I mean…

Tails - Did you see any birdbrains?

Sonic - What the…

(All eyes turn to the metal box, which now has a large hole in the side.)

Rouge - Lovely, a modern-day Houdini.

Knuckles - Anyways, no! I didn't see any birdbrains.

Tails - Well, I see three.

Sonic - Tails, look…

Tails - No, really. Look!

(Tails points to the door where Jet, Wave, and Storm from Sonic Riders enter the market.)

MSX - Those pricks! Bumburger, do it!

Clyde - Aye aye, cap'n!

MSX - This isn't the navy.

Clyde - It isn't?

MSX - No.

Clyde - Oh… Ah well! Here goes.

(Clyde pushes a button and, within seconds, the parking lot becomes the victim of an air strike. MSX jumps to his feet.)

MSX - Charge!

(MSX and Chazzo, who is in a miniature tank, run up to the electronic doors and break in.)

MSX - Purge the land of the infidels!

(As MSX and Chazzo shoot everything in sight, the group calmly walks in.)

MSX - To the cheese aisle!

(MSX and Chazzo move towards the cheese aisle as the group slowly follows.)

Sonic - Sorry about my friend. He's a little weird.

Jet - You prick! You nearly killed me!

Shadow - Sonic, I need your opinion.

Sonic - 'Bout what?

(Shadow holds two cans up.)

Shadow - Which is better: the creamed corn or the whole corn?

Sonic - Why do you need my opinion?

Shadow - Sonic… this means a lot to me. In fact, this choice of corn could alter the rest of our lives as we know it.

Sonic - Fine. I like creamed corn better.

Shadow - Excellent choice.

(Shadow takes the can of creamed corn and throws it at Jet's head.)

Jet - What the hell!

Sonic - Oh… On second thought, whole corn is cheaper…

(Shadow throws the other can at Jet.)

Jet - What are you doing!

(MSX and Chazzo run up with large sacks of cream cheese.)

MSX - To the checkout!

(The group shrugs and follows MSX and Chazzo to the checkout. Sonic throws Twinkies at Jet as they pass by and Tails nails him with a squeaky toy.)

MSX - Check these for me.

Clerk - I'm sorry, sir. This is the express lane.

MSX - Very well.

(MSX puts twenty bucks on the counter and walks off with Chazzo. Suddenly, an express train runs through the checkout and the group somehow appears on it.)

Tikal - This random appearing in places is starting to get annoying.

Amy - Tell me about it.

Narrator - Back at the Sonic residence…

Cream - I'm finally done! That mess was a lot bigger than it should've been. Ah well. Time to watch some telemuhvision!

(Cream sits on the couch and turns Dora The Explorer on.)

Cream - Yay!

(The train suddenly tears throw the house and runs Cream over. The train goes through the other side of the house and the building is magically restored. Then, the group reappears on the inside.)

MSX - (no longer dressed as colonel) Ah… These nice family outings bring a tingle to my heart.

Shadow - You don't have a heart.

MSX - I know! Well I do, but it's not… mine…

Knuckles - That poor pizza delivery boy…

MSX - Anyways, speaking of lacking a heart…

(A dark Chao with a skull on it's head appears. Like Chazzo, this Chao lacks feet.)

MSX - This is Chaotic, the first Chao me and Kinetikai actually began raising.

Sonic - Um… MSX…

(Sonic points at Chaotic and everyone turns to the Chao, who is now dressed as the Grim Reaper.)

MSX - Well, he's normally very nice!

Rouge - He is?

MSX - Well… He's nice… If nice means…

(Chaotic suddenly swings his mini-scythe and Amy disappears.)

MSX - Well, you get the point.

(Another Chao appears on the floor and it immediately turns over and goes back to sleep. This is a normal Chao with green hands and feet.)

MSX - This is Chaochi, my first and only Chao from Sonic Adventure 1.

Rouge - What abnormality does _this_ Chao have?

(MSX pulls a piece of paper out of nowhere and hands it to Rouge. Everyone huddles around her to read it as well.)

Rouge - Let's see… 'Chaochi's Sleeping Schedule'. A sleeping schedule?

MSX - Yeah… I'm lucky to have won as many Chao races as I have.

(MSX looks at Chaochi and picks him up. The trademark squiggle appears above his head.)

MSX - You lazy crap for brains!

(MSX throws Chaochi through the wall and he keeps flying down the block.)

MSX - While that's in process, keep reading.

Rouge - Right… 'Sunday - Sleep. Monday - Sleep. Tuesday - Jazzercise.'

(Everyone looks up at MSX with concern and MSX smiles innocently.)

Rouge - 'Wednesday - Sleep. Thursday - Sleep. Friday - Go swimming.'

Knuckles - Well, he does swim.

MSX - Yeah, and he does it like he does everything that's not sleeping. Like crap!

Knuckles - Oh…

Rouge - 'Saturday - Sleep. Flursday - Sleep.' Flursday? What's that?

MSX - Flursday is an imaginary day that Chaos created to get more sleep.

(MSX walks up to the small hole and yells out of it.)

MSX - LIKE HE NEEDS IT! UNGRATEFUL LITTLE… um… little…

Shadow - Pathetic, time-wasting, underachieving squeaky toy?

MSX - THANK YOU!

(MSX turns around and is somehow dressed as a baseball catcher. Chaochi breaks through the other wall and flies straight into MSX's mitt. He is placed onto the ground where he promptly falls asleep.)

MSX - Oh, for the love of all things Sonic-related! Oh well. Next Chao!

(A normal hero Chao appears.)

MSX - This is Chaomy, a Chao that was spawned from Kinetikai's Tiny Chao Garden on Sonic Advance.

Knuckles - This one looks normal.

(Chaomy stands up and walks towards the door. However, Tikal walks in and shuts the door in his face, making him run into the wall.)

Tikal - Oh, geez! I'm sorry, little guy.

(Chaomy stands up and begins walking to the left. Everyone watches as Chaomy absent-mindedly walks into that wall as well.)

MSX - Needless to say, I think he flunked Chao kindergarten. Now, this is Chaoyu, a dark Chao me and Kinetikai began raising after Sir Down's Syndrome over there.

Rouge - So… Where is he?

(MSX looks to his left, then looks to his right, more concerned this time.)

MSX - I've got it!

(MSX leads the group downstairs where Knuckles is up against the wall.)

MSX - I give you… Chaoyu!

(Everyone looks over to the couch to see a dark Chao with its' head up against the wall. It laughs occasionally, then looks at the group with a look that makes them shudder.)

Sonic - Dude… That's like…

MSX - 'The Exorcist' in midget form?

Sonic - Yeah!

Knuckles - He's plotting something! I know he is!

(Shadow walks into the living room with a note, notices Chaoyu, and shakes his head.)

Shadow - Sonic, note for you.

(Sonic swiftly reads the note.)

Sonic - Since when does Tails go to comedy clubs?

MSX - Since I threatened his life if he didn't tell others his horrible puns.

Sonic - Oh…

(A normal brown Chao appears on the floor and MSX picks it up.)

MSX - Finally, we have Stoner.

(An awkward silence follows.)

Knuckles - You named him Stoner?

MSX - Yes.

Shadow - Why…

(MSX drops Stoner into the sink full of water, then pulls him out. He dries him off then puts his on the ground where he does the question mark thing. Before Stoner walks off, his eyelids suddenly drop halfway down over his eyes.)

MSX - He looks like a hippie.

Shadow - Oh… I'm concerned now. All of you're Chao have a disorder of some sort.

(Chaomy falls down the stairs, gets up, and walks into the living room.)

Shadow - Do you like get them from the Chao garden behind the nuclear plant or something?

MSX - Well… I give them the 'roids.

Shadow - The 'roids?

(MSX holds up a Chao fruit.)

MSX - Steroids! Feel da powa!

Shadow - You're weird.

MSX - I know.

Knuckles - (from upstairs) Hey, MSX! You've got a visitor out here!

MSX - Describe him.

Knuckles - He's… purple…

(MSX's eyes turn crimson and narrow.)

MSX - So, it's come to this, has it? Attacking me in my own fanfic. I'll show him.

(MSX pulls out a large case and pulls a rocket launcher out of it. He begins walking upstairs with it.)

Rouge - Who is it?

MSX - Kinetikai.

(Everyone looks at each other before running up the stairs after him. When they enter the wreck room, MSX shoots out the window.)

MSX - Remove ye foul stench from my sight, slimy bag of wart remover!

Kinetikai - This isn't over! I will be aveng-ed!

Tikal - Didn't you use that term before?

Sonic - I think so.

MSX - Ah well… Now that that's done and over with…

(The door breaks down and Tails poses.)

Tails - I'm back!

MSX - …and covered in tomatoes. Let me guess…

Tails - Yeah, pretty much.

MSX - Figured.

Knuckles - HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE STEPPING! YOU'RE GETTING TOMATO SAUCE ON- Oh dear. That's not tomato sauce.

MSX - CHAZZO!

(For no reason, the group is suddenly dressed in tuxedos and dresses and are sitting in the front row of a large room. MSX walks into the middle of the stage, also dressed in a tux.)

MSX - Welcome to the first annual Chao Day celebration!

(The group reluctantly claps.)

MSX - First of, horrible Chao names! The nominees are… Chaomein! Dog Chao! Cat Chao! And Chaolin!

(Chaolin from SA2 walks across the stage dressed as a samurai.)

MSX - …and the award for the worst Chao name goes to…

(MSX opens the envelope and looks at Cream.)

MSX - CHEESE!

Cream - Hey! Cheese is not a bad name!

Shadow - Oh, come on! You named a Chao after a food and gave him a giant bow tie. It's not that bad until you put your and his names together.

Sonic - And that makes…

Shadow - Cream cheese…

(Chazzo, who's eating a bar of cream cheese like an ice cream sandwich, suddenly looks at Shadow and MSX moves in front of him.)

MSX - Sorry. False alarm.

(Chazzo frowns and returns to devouring his cream cheese bar. In an instant, the group is back in their normal outfits of shoes and gloves. They are standing in the wreck room.)

Rouge - What about the rest of the show?

MSX - We had a low budget. Emphasis on low.

Rouge - Right…

Tails - If you had such a low budget, you should've held a limbo contest.

(A rimshot plays and Tails poses.)

Tails - I've got… ninety-nine of them?

Shadow - Ninety-nine?

Tails - I used many of them in my cages and the comedy club.

Sonic - Still! What were you doing? Talking in overdrive?

Tails - I can do that.

MSX - Please don't.

Sonic - This day lasted pretty long.

Tikal - Yes. More than most episodes.

Charmy - You're telling me.

(All eyes turn to the flying bee and MSX breaks into a mad torrent of laughter.)

Charmy - What's with him?

MSX - (laughing madly) Game Informer called you a robot!

Charmy - I'm not a robot.

MSX - (suddenly stops laughing) I know. I've lost all respect I've had for that magazine. Give Shadow the Hedgehog a score of two… Call Sonic Riders a crappy game… If anything, Game Informer is a crappy magazine! Electronic Gaming Monthly is _much_ better than that filth!

Shadow - Sound like someone needs there happy pills. (shakes pill bottle)

MSX - Happy pills!

(MSX suddenly turns into a Pac-Man-like creature who goes 'Waka! Waka! Waka!' through the pill bottle.)

Shadow - I'm officially disturbed.

Sonic - We all are, Shadow. We all are. Wait… what that?

Shadow - Oh, man! Chazzo's getting mashed potatoes on every… Oh dear.

Sonic - Those aren't mashed potatoes.

MSX - CHAZZOOOOO!

Narrator - This episode of Sonic Syndrome was brought to you… in GRAVY-VISION!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------WHOA! This is one of my longest chapters yet! I've been doing this for over a year and I'm already spitting chapters like this out! It's madness! Anyways, in the next chapter, MSX gets struck by lightning and a two-part quest to reactivate him ensures hilarity. So, tune in for part one next time and Read and Review!


	7. MSX Is Dead Pt 1

Sonic Syndrome

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sonic characters, nor do I truly own Metal Sonic EX. It is my friend's idea and the credit goes to him. I'm merely using it as a penname.

In this chapter, MSX gets struck by lightning and a two-part quest to reactivate him ensures hilarity. Let's just say odd things are going to happen. For now, here's episode number seven!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Episode 7

MSX Is Dead! Pt. 1

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Narrator - Hence the title, MSX got the feeling that something bad was going to happen in this episode.

MSX - Something bad is gonna happen in this episode.

Narrator - I rest my case.

MSX - CREAM!

(Cream walks in and Cheese flies after her. A war cry is heard and Chazzo lunges in midair towards Cheese, who flies out of his path. Chazzo has gladiator war paint on his face and he does another war cry.)

MSX - Chazzo, if I may… Thank you, Cream.

Cream - Why do you hate Cheese?

(MSX grabs Cheese and opens his palm. Cheese goes to get away, but slowly sits down in MSX's hand as he leaves it open.)

MSX - I don't. He is cute… to a relatively small point… Besides, don't you know Chaos make excellent stress balls?

(Cheese's faces contorts as MSX wraps his hand around his body and squeezes. Cheese's eyes bulge out as MSX repeats to squeeze it over and over again. It gets to the point of where MSX is squeezing Cheese so fast, steam is coming from his hand and Cheese's head explodes.)

Cream - Cheese!

(MSX drops Cheese's body behind the couch and Chazzo leaps onto it. Chaomy walks in and bumps into the TV stand as Knuckles walks in. He freaks out and drops the groceries.)

Knuckles - Oh my God! Tails!

(Everyone stops what they're doing to look at Tails, who is face-down on the ground and is covered in a brown liquid.)

Shadow - Oh, man! Chazzo's getting chocolate pudding on every… Oh dear.

Sonic - That's not chocolate pudding…

MSX - CHAZZO!

Sonic - Oh… Wait! No! My bad. That _is_ in fact chocolate pudding.

Shadow - Oh. Wait… Why is Tails covered in chocolate pudding…

MSX - That is it! Back to the Chao gardens with you!

(MSX snaps his magic fingers and every Chao in the house disappears.)

Rouge - Thank God. Now we can have some piece and…

Tails - PUDDING!

(Everyone literally jumps through the roof and, for some reason, appear suddenly on a plane.)

Sonic - Um… Where are we going?

Amy - I'd like to know that too.

MSX - (looks at Amy) Shouldn't you be in the animal compartment?

(Amy screams and runs to the animal compartment. She slams the doors and screams being muffled by barking dogs is heard.)

MSX - Sonic, you owe me one.

Sonic - That I do. So, where are we going?

MSX - France. I don't like them. With their… CROISSANTS! And.. um… HAIRY UNDERARMS!

Sonic - Yeah! Let's bomb the French!

Tails - Yay! Napoleon blown apart!

(MSX pulls a lever and Tails seat falls through the floor and begins falling to the ground.)

MSX - Finally, something that works.

Shadow - You know what they say. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Tails - Not applicable for skydivers.

(Everyone turns around to face Tails, who is perfectly fine.)

MSX - Curse the Sonic 2 way of logic.

Tails - I've got ninety-eight of 'em!

MSX - Hey, guys. Ya wanna know what rhymes with ninety-eight?

Rouge - What?

MSX - Death!

(MSX snaps his magic fingers and the animal compartment door falls down. Several dogs run down the aisle, grab Tails, and drags him off.)

Tails - Who let the dogs out? Who! Who who who!

Rouge - Ninety-seven…

(The plane suddenly begins shaking and slowly moving down.)

Knuckles - I'm no Einstein, but that's not good when you're on a plane, is it?

Rouge - Not really.

(A brief silence follows before everyone begins screaming. Tails stumbles in.)

Tails - Looks like things are going downhill from here!

(The plane crashes into a field and MSX crawls out of the wreckage.)

MSX - Well, interesting little turn of events, eh? Guys?

(MSX turns around to see that everyone has fried.)

MSX - Crap… Now I've gotta revive them. Can't have a fanfic without characters.

(MSX snaps his magic fingers and the group appears next to him.)

Sonic - I like myself better alive.

MSX - I don't…

(Thunder is heard and everyone looks up at clouds.)

Tails - I didn't know Final Fantasy 7 was a part of this episode.

MSX - Silence.

Tails - Did I tell you guys that I ordered dozens of stuffed cats and dogs?

Sonic - Why?

Tails - I won't tell you why, but they should be arrived via air transport right about…

MSX - Silence!

(Another rimshot plays.)

Tails - I've got ninety-five of them!

Knuckles - Hey, did anyone notice this tree before?

(MSX's eyes suddenly shrink to minimal size.)

Sonic - What's with you?

MSX - You can't be serious! Did you graduate third grade or were the teachers bribed?

Sonic - Um…

MSX - Look, let me put it this way…

(A white screen is pulls down and a crappy crayon drawing of MSX bounces up and down.)

MSX - This is me.

(A crappy crayon tree appears.)

MSX - This is a tree.

(Crappy crayon clouds appear.)

MSX - These are the thunder clouds.

(Crappy crayon MSX runs under the crappy crayon tree and begins bouncing up and down again.)

MSX - This is me being an idiot. I'm pulling a Tails, if you will.

Tails - Hey!

MSX - Hay is for horses. And do you know what rhymes with horse?

Tails - What?

MSX - Elimination!

Tails - Say wha?

MSX - EEEEEEEEEELIMINATION!

(MSX snaps his magic fingers and Tails suddenly turns into a sheep. Which… then gets zapped into the next episode. Coming soon… Sheepish Tails!)

MSX - That's better. Now, as I was saying, here is me pulling a Tails.

(Crappy crayon lightning strikes the crappy crayon tree and that strikes the crappy crayon MSX. He falls onto his side and gets X eyes.)

MSX - Let's say it like this. Me plus lightning equals death. Got it?

Sonic - I guess so…

MSX - Speaking of which…

(Lightning strikes the tree and that strikes MSX.)

MSX - Before I die like I should, I will die in style.

(MSX bounces into the air before falling through the ground. He reappears next to the group and falls over. His eyes fade into nothing and his body goes limp. A long silence follows as the storm begins getting worse.)

Shadow - I think he's dead.

Sonic - That's good!

Rouge - But he helps us in times like these.

Sonic - That's bad.

Shadow - We can fend for ourselves.

Sonic - That's good!

Tikal - But he's the author.

Sonic - That's bad.

Knuckles - I dunno, Shadow. We are kind of idiots.

Sonic - That's good! Or is that bad?

(Tails reappears for no reason.)

Tails - Baa ba baaa baabaa baa ba baaaaa ba baaa.

(Translation - Sonic, you're so ugly, they're going to rename the movie 'The Good, The Bad, and you.')

(Tails turns back to normal and a sheep walks off. A rimshot plays.)

Tails - I've got ninety-four of 'em!

Sonic - Stop it!

Shadow - No! Don't stop! It's reverse psychology. The sooner he says them, the sooner it will be over.

Tikal - Good thinking.

Shadow - Thanks. But… where did he go?

(Tails and the sheep have mysteriously disappeared.)

Tikal - Who cares? Now I've got a question for you.

Shadow - Yeah?

Tikal - Why are we standing under a tree in a field during a thunderstorm?

(Everyone looks up for a second before running like crazy.)

Shadow - I'll grab MSX!

(Shadow does so and begins running off as lightning strikes the tree again.)

Sonic - I think we should use Chaos Control.

(Everyone suddenly stops and looks at Sonic.)

Shadow - That's one.

Sonic - One what?

Shadow - Chaos Control!

(The group beams off as lightning strikes the spot they were standing at. Then, Cream crawls out of the plane.)

Cream - Guys… I need help… Guys?

(Cream is then turned into Kentucky Fried Rabbit.)

The Colonel - Now in extra-crispy! And don't forget to get yousself a biscuit! Now in GRA-

Mr. Gravy Bag - STOP IT! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I WILL BE AVEN-GED!

Narrator - Riiiiight… anyway, back in Normal-People-Land…

Shadow - There we are. And before I forget, one.

(Shadow smacks Sonic upside the head.)

Shadow - Thanks for telling us that _after_ we start running.

Rouge - Yeah, you've just won the prize for 'Retard Action of the Episode'.

Tails - Now you've got to go for the surprise!

Shadow - Where'd you come from?

Sonic - Silence you!

Amy - I love you, Sonic!

Sonic - Kick yourself in your face, you loser.

(Amy suddenly hunches over and starts talking like Igor.)

Amy - Yes, master. (kicks herself in the face)

Shadow - What the…

Tails - Let me have MSX.

Tikal - Why?

Tails - Because…

(Tails suddenly starts talking like Dr. Frankenstein.)

Tails - …I'll make him live! Live!

Rouge - Something just happened 'cause we're in the loony bin now.

(Shadow walks down the stairs wearing a large cape and dressed as an evil warlord.)

Sonic - Um… Shadow?

Shadow - Silence, lesser being! Until MSX returns, _I_ will be running this fanfic!

Tails - I can see it now! Sonic Syndrome: Under New Management!

(The rimshot plays.)

Tails - I've got ninety-one of 'em!

Narrator - Yes, so apparently, Tails is Dr. Frankenstein, Amy is Igor, and Shadow is an evil warlord of some kind.

Shadow - I am a dictator! Dictator!

Narrator - Alright! He's a dictator! Geez!

Tails - What? Don't you like being called Richard Potato?

(Another rimshot plays.)

Tails - I've got ninety of 'em!

(Tails pauses and thinks for a second.)

Tails - I'm not likely this rapidly decreasing pun count…

Shadow - I said silence, Butterfluff!

(Shadow shoots Tails with laser beams and he blows up in a ball of fluff.)

Rouge - Whoa…

Shadow - You're telling me.

Sonic - …scared…so very scared…

Knuckles - Look what I found!

Tails - (reappears) Gold! He gone found da gold already! Now weeza can buy da hickamabiscuit!

Shadow - Silence fool!

Knuckles - No. It's labeled 'MSX's Video Will'.

Tails - What happened to his video won't?

Shadow - Silence, Bumbifuzz!

Narrator - After gathering in the living room…

Tails - What happened to the dead room?

Shadow - I said silence, Spindlecockadoo!

Narrator - Anyways, they put the video into the VCR and watch it's contents…

Tails - Hmmm… Milk, wheat, flour… Odd…

Shadow - What is wrong with you?

(Tails jumps up and poses.)

Tails - Pick a mental handicap! Any handicap at all! I've got eighty-five of 'em!

(The video comes on and MSX struggles to get the camera in the right position.)

MSX - Oh, for crying out… Got it! Okay, dear Sonic and friends. If you're watching this, then my untimely death, probably caused by Sonic's or Tails' stupidity, has in fact arrived. In which case, I've composed this will. Sonic, there should be leftover stew in the fridge. I'm leaving everything else to Shadow. Except for my toaster. Give that to Tails and tell him it's a tongue-warmer. Enjoy!

(The TV clicks off and a long pause follows.)

Rouge - This is prejudice!

Shadow - Well, he did leave everything to me. Wait! Why am I talking to a commoner? Silence, Flipflappitywimblebungysnarf!

Narrator - In Tails' laboratory…

(A toilet flushes and Tails emerges.)

Narrator - I said laboratory!

Tails - I know…

Narrator - Ugh! Let's just go to the workshop.

Tails - Well, today we've got a two for one sale on engineering degrees…

Narrator - AGH!

(The ever-so-familiar rimshot plays.)

Tails - I've got eighty-three of 'em!

(Amy, still moving like Igor, walks in.)

Amy - I got the brain you wished for!

Tails - I didn't ask for a brain.

Sonic - You should've.

Tails - Stay out of this! Anyway, I asked for a wrench.

Amy - Oh… Um… I'd… Better go… and… get one then…

Tails - Yes… You should…

(Tails walks into the kitchen just as Knuckles sets his… lower part… on fire.)

Tails - Goodness gracious! Great balls of fire!

Knuckles - Put me out! Put me out!

Tails - Why? The door's over there.

Knuckles - I'm serious!

Tails - I'm Tails.

(Knuckles lower torso and arms catch on fire.)

Knuckles - TAILS!

Tails - WHAT?

Knuckles - Help me!

Tails - Right. Just chill out and I'll be back in a sec.

(Tails runs out of the kitchen and Knuckles is completely consumed by the flames.)

Knuckles - Why me!

Tails - Well, it was either me or Yuji.

(Knuckles burns into a pile of ash.)

Tails - Oh darn. Looks like Knuckles bit the dust.

(Tails claps and poses.)

Tails - Pun frenzy! I've got seventy-six of 'em!

Tikal - You're really annoying me now.

(Chaos Zero pokes his head out of the sink.)

Tails - Oh no! It's Chaos come to cause havoc!

(Chaos Zero makes annoyed bubble noises.)

Tails - Seventy-five!

Tikal - Lovely.

Tails - Don't worry.

Tikal - I swear to God, if you say be happy, I'll rip your intestines out!

(Both Tails and Chaos Zero stare at Tikal.)

Tails - Actually, I was gonna say that I'm done.

Tikal - You're done?

Tails - For the time being.

Tikal - Define 'time being'.

Tails - Wait a sec.

Narrator - One second later…

Tails - How 'bout that! Episode's over!

Narrator - To be continued…

Tails - Indeed! To BEE continued!

Sonic - What's that supposed to mean?

Tails - You'll see… next time! As for now, Seacrest out!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------In the second half, things go from bad to worse when Chaos gets annoyed due to a slight… misunderstanding… Anyways, until then, Read and Review and I'll continue!


	8. MSX Is Dead Pt 2

Sonic Syndrome

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sonic characters, nor do I truly own Metal Sonic EX. It is my friend's idea and the credit goes to him. I'm merely using it as a penname.

In this chapter, things go from bad to worse when Chaos gets annoyed due to a slight… misunderstanding… Let's just say odd things are going to happen… Again… For now, here's episode number eight!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Episode 8

MSX Is Dead! Pt. 2

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Narrator - So, after interesting turns of events, MSX is inactive and Tails is trying to solve life's mysteries. Such as how MSX works… How not to get killed again…

Sonic - Tails, we need you're help. Shadow says something, but I say something else. We need your opinion.

Shadow - As pointless as it is…

Tails - Let it rip.

Sonic - What came first: the chicken or the egg?

Narrator - Yes… Life's mysteries…

Tails - That's easy!

Sonic - It's the chicken, isn't it?

Shadow - It's the egg, moron. Hello? Dinosaurs. What did they have?

Tails - Dinobetes?

Sonic - Tails…

Tails - Fine. The answer is…

(A drumroll mysteriously plays from nowhere.)

Tails - Neither! The road came first!

(A brief silence follows.)

Shadow - Tails, this is a serious debate! You mock us with your jokes! Mocker!

Tails - Fine! Fine! Actually, the chicken came first, but that's only because it was the breakfast rush at Denny's and it took them a while to find some eggs… Yeah… Sprinkle some cheese on there… Mmmm…

(Sonic and Shadow look at each other and the camera switches to a view of the front of the house. Tails is thrown out of the window and screams until he hits the ground.)

Sonic - (looking out window) Doesn't he know he can fly?

Shadow - Isn't it better that he didn't?

Sonic - Point proven.

(The shot goes to Tails, who is pretty much a pain-filled semi-flat ball of bruised fuzz on the pavement.)

Tails - Ow! Well, that didn't go over easy!

(The shot goes back to Sonic and Shadow. The two walk downstairs and into the living room when Cream walks in.)

Cream - Why is Tails on the ground in a bloody pile?

Shadow - Long story. Where have you been?

Cream - At the plane wreck. Where you left me!

Sonic - Whatever.

(Tikal walks in with a remote control and an RC car and Cream squeaks and runs to the corner.)

Tikal - Hey, look what I… What's with her?

Cream - Sorry, it's just that since I crawled out of the plane, electricity has somehow been magnetically drawn to my brain.

Knuckles - Really?

(Knuckles grabs the remote and turns to the knob left. Cream cries out and begins sliding left. Knuckles spins the knob around and Cream does the same. He continues to control Cream like an RC car.)

Knuckles - Hey, look what I can do!

(Knuckles flips Cream onto her head and spins the knob around, making her slide around on her head.)

Cream - Ah! Rug burn!

Shadow - Dude, let me try!

Knuckles - No! I'm the one who got the idea!

Shadow - Which is a once-in-a-lifetime moment for you!

Knuckles - Good point.

(Knuckles hands the remote to Shadow and he drives Cream into the wall. He then proceeds to continuously make Cream back up and smash into the wall again.)

Shadow - Take this! And that! And this! And… (pause) Anyone else wanna try? (end pause) …that!

(Tikal rolls her eyes and walks into the kitchen as Cream cries 'Help me!' She takes some brownie mix out of the cupboard and get all of the ingredients. She then holds a mixing cup up the faucet and turns the knob.)

Knuckles - Tikal!

(Tikal turns towards the living room as Chaos Zero pours from the faucet like water. Without looking, she turns the faucet off and pours Chaos into the bowl with the powder in it.)

Tikal - What?

Knuckles - Shadow's chasing me!

Tikal - So?

(Knuckles runs around the couch and Cream slides on her head around it after him. Tikal rolls her eyes and begins to stir the Chaos Zero/ brownie powder mix.)

Shadow - Have you seen Chaos? I haven't seen him since he was in the faucet last episode?

Tikal - Nope, I haven't seen him.

Shadow - Huh…

(Tikal pours the mix into a flat tray and puts it in the oven.)

Shadow - Whatcha making?

Tikal - Brownies.

(Tikal's face suddenly becomes large and anime-like, with no pupils on her eyes.)

Tikal - FREAKIN' DELICIOUS, WOULDN'T YOU SAY!

(Chaos makes muffled bubble sounds before Tikal slams the oven door shut and turns it on.)

Tails - Eureka!

(Everyone stops what they're doing and walk into Tails' lab where he is fiddling with some machines. MSX is attached to wires on a metal bed.)

Tails - I've done it!

Shadow - What?

(Tails spins around and presents a bobblehead that bears an odd resemblance to MSX.)

Tails - Behold the first of my MSX Series 1 bobbleheads!

(Shadow smacks himself and Tikal looks to MSX.)

Tikal - What about him?

Tails - Ah, yes! I was waiting to do this.

(Tails grabs hold of a handle and pulls it down.)

Tails - It's alive! It's alive! IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE!

Sonic - Shut up!

Tails - Sorry…

(Tails pushes a red button and MSX's body freaks out. He suddenly sits up and begins talking.)

MSX - And now for the seven o' clock news…

Tails - Hmm…

(Tails turns a dial.)

MSX - That's what I said! Who wears a thong that size! Ahahaha…

(Tails quickly turns the dial some more. This time, MSX jumps to his feet and begins swinging his arms in a familiar pattern.)

MSX - Mah-dee-ah hee! Mah-dee-ah hoo! Mah-dee-ah haa! Mah-dee-ah ha ha!

Shadow - CHANGE IT QUICK!

(Tails rapidly turns the dial.)

MSX - Oh, can you tell how to get… How to get to Sesame Street? How to get to Sesame Street?

Narrator - Now, this would be normal behavior for MSX. That is, if he wasn't doing a little dance while singing…

(Tails slowly turns the dial.)

MSX - I like big butts and I cannot lie! You other brothers can't deny! When a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist…

Sonic - Turn the dial or I'll rip off your face!

Tails -Whuteva…

(Tails turns the dial veeeeeeery slowly.)

MSX - Can you stop that?

Sonic - He's back to normal!

MSX - Back to normal? Sonic, you don't know my definition of normal!

(MSX's body suddenly falls to the ground and Amy is standing behind him.)

Amy - Um… Hi…

Knuckles - May I?

Sonic - Be my guest.

(Knuckles smirks and begins walking towards Amy while pounding his fist into his hand. Amy looks at this, screams, and runs away. A bell sounds.)

Tikal - Brownies are ready!

Tails - You racist! What ever happened to blackies? Or tannies? Or whities? Actually, scratch that last one…

(A rimshot plays.)

Tails - I've got sixty-nine of 'em!

Sheep - Baa!

(Everyone looks out of the window as a sheep walks by the window.)

Shadow - Isn't that the sheep MSX turned you into last episode?

Tails - Oddly enough, I think it is.

Tikal - Who wants whities? I mean… who wants brownies?

(Tikal sets a tray of brownies on the counter and pulls out a large knife. She swiftly brings it down to cut the brownies and Knuckles screams out in pain. He spins around with one less hand.)

Knuckles - She cut my hand off! AHHHHH!

(Knuckles begins running like his limbs are made of noodles and he runs through the wall.)

Rouge - (walks in) Why the crap was he running like that?

Sonic - Who knows?

Tails - Wilder Valderaama does. Are you dissing That 70's Show? Huh? Huh? Come on! Bring it! Bring the PAIN!

Tikal - Uh oh…

(Chaos Zero opens his eyes and glares at Tikal.)

Shadow - What?

(Everyone looks over her shoulders at the Chaos brownies.)

Shadow - Oh…

Knuckles - Hey, guys! Guess what? My hand's back! And I found all seven Chaos Emeralds in one place! How weird is…

(Knuckles trips and _all_ of the Emeralds land on the brownies.)

Shadow - What kind of cheap crap is that?

(The garage begins shaking and Perfect Chaos rises from the brownies.)

Tails - Must've put steroids in those brownies.

(A rimshot plays.)

Tails - I've got…

(Perfect Chaos shoots a laser and vaporizes him. Everyone cries out and runs away.)

Sonic - I don't see how this could get any worse.

(People are heard screaming and everyone turns to see Godzilla in the distance.)

Shadow - I hate you so much.

Sonic - Sorry…

MSX - 'bout what?

(Everyone turns to him as MSX tears the wires off of his body.)

Sonic - He's alive again!

MSX - Yeah yeah… Look, first thing…

(Perfect Chaos shoots a laser at Godzilla and MSX looks up.)

MSX - What is this? A fight I didn't start? I will not stand for this!

(MSX snaps his magic fingers and a bubble and a gecko appear at his feet.)

MSX - First off, be gone with you.

(MSX flicks the Godzilla gecko away and then he turns to the bubble.)

MSX - And as for you…

(MSX takes a needle and pokes the bubble, popping it.)

MSX - Well, it's about time to wrap this episode up.

Sonic - Please tell me that Tails isn't going to do any more puns…

MSX - He won't… for now…

Shadow - What's that mean?

MSX - You'll see… Yuk yuk…

Sonic - Help me…

Unknown Voice - Sorry, I can't right now.

Tikal - What the…

(MSX pounds the air and Espio falls to the ground.)

MSX - There's your new character. Until next time… Mwahahaha!

-EPILOGUE-

Tails - Dum de dum de dum… nothing happening… bein' nonchalant… say, what is this?

(Tails looks down and sees a small remote control car with a small remote control by it.)

Tails - It appears to be an RC remote.

(Cream walks into the living room behind him and her pupils shrink.)

Tails - Hmmm… Cool! Power steering!

(Tails begins driving the car around and Cream slides along the ground in the living room in the same fashion.)

Tails - Sweet! Power windows!

(The car's windows slowly open as Cream's mouth slowly opens.)

Tails - Hot diggity! They've even got a pop-out trunk!

Cream - NO!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------In the next chapter, MSX gets annoyed with Sonic's cockiness once more and begins criticizing the modern Sonic games. Until then, Read and Review and I'll continue!


	9. This Modern Day Of Age

Sonic Syndrome

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sonic characters, nor do I truly own Metal Sonic EX. It is my friend's idea and the credit goes to him. I'm merely using it as a penname.

In this chapter, MSX gets annoyed with Sonic's cockiness once more and begins criticizing the modern Sonic games. So, here's episode number nine!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Episode 9

This Modern Day of Age

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Narrator - After criticizing the classic games, it was only a matter of time before it happened again…

Shadow - Where were you on the first of March?

Sonic - Wha… What? I plead the fifth!

Tails - I plead insanity!

Narrator - Oh, for Christ's sake!

Knuckles - We all know you are.

MSX - What's going up in he-a?

Sonic - Why are you talking like Cartman?

MSX - Dunno. Tails, fetch the milk!

Tails - Right away!

(Tails runs down to the fridge and opens it.)

Tails - Curses! Spoiled again!

MSX - Oh, for crying out…

Narrator - One word: Rimshot.

Tails - I've got sixty-five of 'em!

MSX - If you _ever_ say something like that again…

Tails - I find that quite catchy. Hmm… exploitation!

(Tails walks off and MSX runs halfway down the stairs.)

MSX - What? Where are you going! Get back here! I'm not done yelling at you yet!

Tails - Curses! Roiled again!

MSX - Ah!

(MSX jumps on top of Tails and a dust cloud appears. Tails just crawls out and walks away as the dust cloud continues. Eventually, it stops.)

MSX - What the… Heh…

Sonic - Not the brightest bulb in the box, are ya?

MSX - How dare you! I must mock you now!

(The scene changes and everyone finds themselves in the auditorium where MSX made fun of the classic games. The gravestones are still there.)

Sonic - This is creepy.

Shadow - What? Looking at your grave or looking at your left leg's grave?

Sonic - Both.

MSX - Silence! I must mock the modern Sonic games now. Onto Sonic Adventure! Let's see… 3-D gameplay… Multiple characters… A mission mode… Introduction of emblems… I must admit, this is one of my favorites…

Sonic - Woot!

MSX - …except for the fact of the crappy mouthing and dancing Eggman boss.

Sonic - Unwoot.

Shadow - What?

MSX - The crappy mouthing.

(For some reason, MSX's mouth keeps moving after he's stopped talking. After a few seconds, he stops.)

MSX - Like that.

Shadow - I meant the dancing Eggman.

MSX - Observe.

(A screenshot of Sonic hitting the Egg Viper is played on a projector screen and Eggman begins dancing around.)

MSX - This would be acceptable if one thing was added.

(MSX snaps his magic fingers and the screen goes black as Eggman begins dancing over again. While wildly swinging his arms, an orchestra begins playing wildly.)

MSX - You see. The dancing Eggman boss. I'd have to give this game an A-.

Sonic - Sweet!

MSX - Onto the game that spawned my favorite Sonic character, Shadow. Sonic Adventure 2!

Sonic - Unsweet.

MSX - The game was perfect in every aspect…

Sonic - Awesome!

MSX- …except one!

Sonic - Unawesome.

Tikal - Please stop that.

Sonic - Sorry.

MSX - That is… the Radical Highway time trial.

Shadow - Oh boy.

MSX - Compared to that mess, even Tails could be considered sane.

Tails - Derpants!

MSX - He isn't, of course.

Tails - Underpants.

MSX - Anyway, as far as the mission goes, all I have to say is WHAT THE-

Narrator - We are currently experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by.

(Elevator music plays for about a minute.)

Narrator - We now return to your regularly scheduled program.

Sonic - I think I just heard France surrender in terror.

MSX - Aside from that, perfect. I give this game an A.

Rouge - Off to a relatively nice start.

(A knock at the door causes Tails to go up and open them. Amy is dressed as Eggman, using to brooms for the moustache.)

Tails - Curses! Broiled again!

Knuckles - May I?

MSX - Please.

(Knuckles chases Amy outside and painful noises are heard.)

MSX - Nice. Now, Sonic Heroes. Very nice idea. Loved everything about it. Especially the fact that Metal Sonic awesomefied himself and was the final boss. The only thing that I thought should have been changed was him not saying this…

(The video of Metal Sonic plays.)

Metal Sonic - All living things kneel before your master!

MSX - …but this instead.

Metal Sonic - You're mine, biotch! I'll own your punk a…

MSX - THAT'S quite enough thank you! Anyways, I give it an A-. Now, onto Shadow The Hedgehog.

(MSX's pupils dilate.)

MSX - Swearing… Guns… Motorcycles… In a Sonic game? This is the best… damn… Sonic game… Period…

Shadow - Ownation, honky bizzle!

Sonic - Hey!

MSX - A B! Hands down.

Shadow - What!

MSX - There was a lot of things wrong with it. Storylines not matching up. The Diablon battle. The fact that the true final boss made me go…

(MSX's head begins to rapidly spin for about four seconds or so. Oddly enough, Tails' head does the exact same thing.)

MSX - Aaaanyways, on to Sonic Riders!

(The Babylon Rogues bust through the door.)

Jet - You summoned.

MSX - Ah yes! Did you know your voice reminds me of someone I know?

Jet - Really?

MSX - Yeah. His name is Pot Belly and everyone I know wants to rip him limb from limb. Or worse!

Jet - You mean…

MSX - Yes. The Teletubby treatment.

Jet - Oh my…

MSX - Yemmes… let's just say that my life's goal is to tease the high-pitched freak into therapy. Or even better, an insane asylum. Hey, he could visit you, Tails!

Tails - Whuteva…

MSX - So, anyway, um, uh, yeah. You. High-pitched freak.

Storm - Oh yeah? Well… you… well… stuff it!

(MSX appears next to him with a handful if stuffing.)

MSX - Which hole?

(Storm backs up and Wave raises an eyebrow.)

Wave - You make me think of leftover breadsticks for God knows what reason.

Tails - Curses! Foiled again!

(MSX shoves the stuffing down Tails' throat and rips his hand out.)

MSX - As I was saying…

Jet - Ugh…

MSX A very nice game, but Egg Factory is an annoying level. Nonetheless, a space leap ahead of Sonic R. I also particularly love the special characters. Nights most of all.

Rogue - What about Aiai?

MSX - Super Monkey Ball? Mostly annoying. Hate 'im.

Knuckles - Ulala?

MSX - Hate her. Don't even know what Space Channel 5 is.

Tikal - What of E-1000G and E-1000R?

MSX - Never used 'em. Probably never will. I hope they burn in hell. Anyways, I give it a B+. Bringing the average up to…

(MSX does a brief calculation.)

MSX - An A-!

Sonic - Woot!

MSX - Yes, the 3-D gameplay is the best part of Sonic games these days. Now, back to the house!

(The setting goes back to the house. MSX suddenly appears on the couch and he's holding an oil can as Tails walks in.)

Tikal - What the…

MSX - My body requires oil.

Tails - Curses! Oiled again!

MSX - Quite! I'm watching Popeye!

Tails - Curses! Olive Oyled again!

MSX - That's it!

(MSX swallows some spinach and his biceps become huge as the Popeye theme plays. He reaches back as Sonic answers the door and turns to Tails.)

Sonic - Um… Tails… There's some Jewish guy here. He's asking to speak with you.

Tails - Curses! Moyled again!

(Tails is super-punched into the cosmos.)

MSX - Much better.

Sonic - What's he at?

MSX - Fifty-eight.

Sonic - Lovely.

MSX - I think I know how to get rid of the rest of them.

Sonic - How so?

MSX - You'll see… I'm going to the government. I'll be back by 8. If two men in black suits show up at the door, grab yourself a gun and hide under the fridge for a couple of days.

Shadow - Lock 'n load!

(Shadow mysteriously pulls two Uzis from behind his back and begins firing wildly up at the ceiling.)

Shadow - Yippie-kai-ay mutha-

(Tikal's bed suddenly falls through the ceiling and squishes Shadow where he stands.)

MSX - Riiiiiiiiiight… anyway, I'm off.

(MSX walks out of the house and everyone walks up behind Sonic, including Mighty the armadillo for some reason.)

Mighty - I'm not liking where this is going.

Sonic - None of us do.

Tikal - What just happened? Why is my bed in the living room? Is that blood? What's going on?

Sonic - We don't know, Tikal. In fact, we may never know…

Narrator - Ah, shut up. You'll figure it out by the next chapter.

Sonic - Oh. Um, uh, okay. Uh… GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------In the next chapter, for one whole day, Tails will rule supreme. Let's just say that those who have weak stomachs shouldn't read it. But, until then, Read and Review and I'll continue!


	10. Bad Pun Day

Sonic Syndrome

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sonic characters, nor do I truly own Metal Sonic EX. It is my friend's idea and the credit goes to him. I'm merely using it as a penname.

In this chapter, for one whole day, Tails will rule supreme. Let's just say that those who have weak stomachs shouldn't read it. So, here's episode number ten!

* * *

Episode 10

Bad Pun Day

* * *

Tails - I'm gonna have a field day with this.

Narrator - May God help us all…

(The entire Sonic crew surrounds MSX with baseball bats and cattle prods.)

MSX - I'm sorry, but I had to do it! These puns are getting annoying!

Shadow - Why didn't you just make a law outlawing puns!

(A brief silence follows.)

MSX - Oh… Um… Uh… Didn't come to mind?

Narrator - Everyone paused before slowly advancing on MSX.

Shadow - Kill him! (jumps onto MSX)

Narrator - And by 'slowly advancing', I mean 'quickly jumps on top of'.

(MSX uses the force thing from the Matrix and throws everyone off of him and something out the window catches his eye.)

MSX - Oh dear God.

(Everyone looks outside to see Tails setting up an obstacle course.)

Sonic - He's setting up a field day track, isn't he?

Shadow - Yes. Yes, he is.

MSX - Well, that's… fifty-seven!

Shadow - Lovely.

MSX - And this chapter won't end until he reaches zero!

Shadow - Lovelier.

Knuckles - And I just took a dump on the carpet!

Shadow - Loveliest! Why'd you do that, man!

MSX - Who cares. I got free tickets to the Retard Olympics.

Tikal - The what?

Amy - Didn't Monty Python do something like that?

MSX - Yeah, so?

Amy - Whatever.

MSX - Cometh!

(The group follows MSX through the door and they suddenly find themselves in an Olympic field and they are dressed in athletic clothing.)

Sonic - What in the…

Announcer - And here comes the Olympic torch!

(A spotlight shines down on Tails as he begins singing a love song expressing sadness and hopeless yearning.)

MSX - Fifty-six…

Announcer - And now, the first event! The 100-meter dash!

MSX - Sonic, you're up.

Sonic - I've got this!

MSX - You'll need this.

(Sonic hands MSX a small bag of quarters.)

Sonic - What's this?

MSX - Just go.

(Sonic and Tails take their positions as something is raised on both sides of the track.)

Sonic - No. No no no! NO! I'm _not_ going to participate in this!

Announcer - On your mark… Get set… GO!

(Tails begins running down the track while slipping quarters into parking meters.)

MSX - Fifty-five…

Tikal - That's bad… Like Mario bad…

(MSX suddenly pulls out a shotgun and begins swinging it around.)

MSX - What! Where! Show your face, infidel!

Announcer - And the winner is Tails!

Sonic - Big whoopty-doo!

Announcer - Now, onto the pole vault.

MSX - Shadow…

Shadow - I'll crush him!

(Shadow walks up to a safe and looks blankly at it.)

Shadow - I'm gonna shoot you if there's poles in here.

Announcer - Ready… Set… GO!

(Shadow takes but a second to open the safe and poles fall out.)

Shadow - That's it!

(Shadow aims an Uzi at Tails, but is tackled by a security guard.)

Tails - I guess you weren't so safe after all.

MSX - Fifty-three…

Announcer - Tails wins due to disqualification! Now for the shot put!

MSX - Tikal…

Tikal - Um… Where is it?

Announcer - And go!

Tikal - Where's the shot!

Tails - Oh, I put it over there.

MSX - Fifty-two…

Announcer - And Tails wins again! He's on a roll!

(Tails pulls out a dinner roll and smiles.)

MSX - Don't… you… dare…

(Tails lifts one foot and places the roll on the ground. Then, he jumps on top of it.)

MSX - How dare you! Now you're at fifty-one!

Announcer - And now… The Winter Olympics!

(A sudden gust of ice blows by, freezing everything around it, including the group. Tails walks up.)

Tails - Hey, guys. Just chillin' as usual, I see.

Shadow - (muffled) Help us out!

Tails - Okay, icy that you're in a pickle, so just freeze and I'll be back with help.

Amy - (muffled) Tails!

Tails - What's wrong? 'Fraid I'll give you the slip?

Cream - (muffled) Tails! Help us out of here _now_! Got it?

Tails - Yep, I understand perfectly. Everything's crystal clear.

(The ice block containing Shadow falls down at Tails' feet.)

Tails - Whoa! Watch it, Shadow! That's a-salt and battery right there. Just trust me. Besides, just remember, it's the thaw that counts. See ya!

(Tails runs off and a silence follows.)

MSX - (muffled) Forty-four…

Sonic - (muffled) Who wants to help me kill Tails?

Everyone - (muffled) I do!

(MSX's head begins heating up and melts his ice block.)

Sonic - (muffled) Great! Now let us out!

(MSX closes his eyes and continues gathering heat in his head.)

Shadow - I don't think he heard you.

Sonic - So, who'll save us now?

Mr. Gravy Bag - Well, howdy-doodly-doo!

(MSX rips opens his eyes and shoots Mr. Gravy Bag with super-hot lasers. Needless to say, Mr. Gravy Bag explodes and the other ice blocks melt.)

Sonic - Um…

Shadow - Oh…

Knuckles - Fruitcake!

(Everyone turns to Knuckles and he points to a floating fruitcake.)

Tails - Ha! I knew it! UFOs _do_ exist!

MSX - Yes, the ever puzzling unidentified flying object.

Tails - What? I meant unidentified fruitcake-like object.

Amy - Forty-three.

Announcer - May I have your attention please! I _will_ have your attention, slaves!

Sonic - Eggman?

Eggman (A.K.A. Announcer) - Will the real Eggman please stand up? I repeat! Will the real Eggman please stand up?

MSX - You've got to be kidding me… Him too?

Eggman - Sorry, I just had to say that. Anyway, the next event will be the bobsled!

MSX - Cream, my little delicacy for cannibals, you're up.

Cream - Delicacy for what!

MSX - Move!

(MSX begins prodding Cream in the side with the shotgun, which he's still holding.)

Sonic - Um… MSX?

MSX - I know. But I must be ready. You never know when the infidels will strike. (looks around suspiciously)

Sonic - Right…

(At the bobsled starting point, Cream gets ready as her team walks up.)

Cream - Oh, hi! I'm Cream!

Teammate #1 - I'm Bob!

Teammate #2 - Same here!

Teammate #3 - Ditto.

Cream - I'm not finding this funny anymore.

Eggman - Due to a massive bribe I've just received, Tails automatically wins this event!

Cream - What!

The Bobs - Oh no!

Eggman - I've also been given an obviously forged report stating that Cream has a history of steroid use.

Cream - What!

The Bobs - OH NO!

Eggman - And here is a post-it note with a message concerning everyone in the stadium. Due to a freak accident, all your grandmothers died. And I didn't wear deodorant this morning!

Cream - WHAT?

The Bobs - OH… Wait… Ew…

Eggman - Anyways, the next event is snowboarding!

MSX - Well, that's forty-two… Ah well… Amy, you're up.

Amy - I'm not going.

MSX - What?

Amy - I'd much rather spend my time making snowmen.

(Amy backs up and reveals her snowman to MSX. The group walks up and they all turn to Shadow, where he's presenting his snow angel. Then, everyone looks to Tails as he presents his… snowy… board…)

Tails - It's beautiful!

MSX - Forty-one…

Sonic - MSX…

MSX - (cocks shotgun) Already on it.

(Tails screams and runs off.)

Shadow - Aren't you chasing him?

MSX - Why? I'm quite content with scaring his pants off.

Sonic - But Tails doesn't have pants.

MSX - He doesn't?

(Everyone shakes their head.)

MSX - Well, then I'd better chase him! Get back here! (runs after Tails)

Eggman - The next event, due to a sudden change of plans, will be the luge. All competitors, please report to the starting gate!

(MSX and Tails run from a large, mean-looking snowman with a pitchfork which grew legs and began running after them for some reason.)

Tails - Run! It's the abominable snowman!

MSX - Forty!

(The snowman trips and they sidestep the snowball and walk calmly down the path. They wind up at the luge starting point.)

Eggman - You must be our last competitors!

MSX - Actually, we were running from a snowman.

Eggman - Really? Does that sound like something my creation would say?

MSX - You're right. Let me fix that.

(MSX pulls down a black screen and punching noises are heard. The screen goes up and Eggman in inside an orange juice bottle.)

MSX - You look so slim now.

Tails - Wow! You really beat him to a pulp!

MSX - Ugh… That one was extra-sour. But, he's at thirty-nine…

Announcer #2 - On your mark…

MSX - What the…

Tails - Come on!

Announcer #2 - Get set…

(MSX and Tails quickly jump into a luge.)

Announcer #2 - Go!

(The luge is released and Tails begins cheering.)

Tails - Woohoo!

MSX - Be quiet!

(They keep going down the track until they accidentally fly off of it and fall out of the luge, which flies into a water tower, flooding a nearby town.)

Tails - Well, I don't think we won de-luge, but…

(MSX holds up the shotgun.)

MSX - I'm tired of this. Follow me, shorty.

(MSX begins escorting Tails away at gunpoint.)

Tails - I'm at thirty-eight.

MSX - Who cares? Move it!

(Within minutes, MSX and Tails walks into the living of the Sonic residence, where everyone is already pretty cozy.)

MSX - You left without us?

Sonic - We knew you'd come back… Some day…

MSX - I feel mass urges of _anger_ right now!

(Shadow shrugs and takes another drink of his coffee.)

MSX - Man, you're no fun. I can't even threaten you anymore. Wait! I've got an idea?

Knuckles - (sarcastically) Really now?

MSX - You're hardly one to talk. Rouge, isn't your car in the garage?

Rouge - You mean the one from SA2? Yeah, it's in there.

MSX - Alright then. Tails, you may have the honor.

Tails - Thank you. Quick! To the Batmobile!

(A picture of Tails' head comes towards the screen, then away from it while someone goes 'Duhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuh!' The head disappear and everyone is still sitting where they were.)

Sonic - You do know the logo thing won't automatically teleport you there, right?

Tails - It won't?

MSX - I can fix that!

(A picture of MSX's head comes towards the screen, then away from it while someone goes 'Duhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuh!' The head disappears and everyone is now in the 'Batmobile', or Rouge's car if you prefer.)

MSX - Ready, guys?

Rouge - Are you sure it's safe to let you drive?

MSX - Are you kidding me? (reaches foot back abnormally far) Of course not!

(MSX slams his foot through the gas pedal and takes off like Sonic when he's running. Within seconds, they come to a screeching halt outside of a factory of some sort.)

Shadow - Who here has whiplash?

(Everyone moans in pain.)

Shadow - Thought so.

Tails - We'll at least we still have our whiplashes to clean our eyes with!

(Everyone is magically cured and they all turn to Tails.)

Tails - Um… Thirty-seven?

(Tails is thrown out of the back window and down the street.)

MSX - That's better. Now, follow me!

(The group walks up to the door and knocks.)

MSX - If anyone knows puns, it's these guys.

(The door opens and Davy Sprocket from Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine stand there.)

Davy - I don't find that funny.

MSX - See what I mean? A living example of a pun.

Davy - Screw off. Wait…

MSX - He evens makes puns without realizing it!

Al - Yep. He's like the 8th wonder of the world.

MSX - Who the monkey crap are you?

Al - I'm Al. Clyde's brother.

Tails - Is your last name 'Beworkinontherailroad'?

MSX - Thirty-seven.

Al - I'm here to replace Clyde. He's got pneumonia. Plus he was recently decapitated.

MSX - I do not approve of this character change! I will send you to another dimension! Pa-zow!

(MSX flicks his fingers toward Al and suddenly a giant hole appears out of thin air.)

MSX - In you go!

(MSX picks up a stapler out of nowhere and flings it at Al's head. Al falls backwards into the hole and is sucked into another dimension.)

Al - Farewell friends!

Sonic - I'm not your friend.

(Sonic chucks another stapler at Al for no reason. The hole then closes up and suddenly Shadow gets a call on his cell phone. Oddly enough, his ringtone is 'I Like Big Butts'. Shadow smiles weakly and answers his phone.)

Shadow - Whaddup?

Al (On phone) - Uh, hey there. Listen, this here place is kinda weird. I mean, there's not really anything here except for a giant sign that says 'Dur'.

Tails - I guess Al is in One-'Dur' Land.

MSX - Thirty-six…

Davy - Um… Okay…

Sonic - Don't worry. It's natural when he's around.

(Sonic motions to MSX who is staring intently at a pair of tweezers. When everyone looks at him, he shoves them behind his back.)

Davy - Yeah… Come on in.

(The group enters and Tails pulls crackers out.)

Tails - I'm hungry. Hey, Cream! Come here!

(Cream approaches him and Cheese is snatched out of midair. He puts him between two crackers before Tails bites out of the crackers and Cheese.)

MSX - Thirty-five. Wait…

(Everyone's jaws drop and they all slowly turn to Tails.)

Shadow - Dude! Tails is a cannibal!

Tails - Actually, I am. See?

(Tails holds up a can of bull meat.)

MSX - Thirty-four…

Humpty - T-That's b-b-b-bad!

Shadow - What's up, shorty?

Spike - Screw off. Wait…

Shadow - Not again.

Tikal - Why are we here again?

MSX - You that super-punny classic game? That's these guys.

Tikal - Oh…

Sonic - Your very presence makes me want to commit hara-kiri.

MSX - Hey! I've got an idea! Let's poke fun at Tails! (pokes Tails)

Tails - Hey! I just realized something! I _am_ a pun!

Sonic - Huh?

MSX - I get it. Say Miles Prower _real_ slow.

Sonic - Miles Per… (pause) Tails… May I see you for a second?

MSX - Thirty-three…

(Eggman kicks down the door as MSX slowly turns around.)

MSX - Well, I'll be. It's fatty fatty Eggman.

Eggman - How dare you insult me!

Tails - Do you want us to out-sult you?

Shadow - Thirty-two…

Eggman - I'll make you all suffer for this mockery!

MSX - Really now?

Tails - Actually, he meant later.

Shadow - Thirty-one…

Davy - That's it! I declare… A PUN-OFF!

(Everyone gasps as a large chicken-like shadow falls across the land.)

Tails - Where's your pal Sniff?

Scratch - I can do worse!

MSX - Thirty.

Sonic - Should Scratch's count?

MSX - Is Tails saying 'em?

Sonic - Well… No…

MSX - There ya go.

Shadow - Commence punning!

Tails - What do you call a clam that won't share? Shell-fish! Yuk yuk!

MSX - Twenty-nine… And first blood!

Scratch - 'Yuk yuk' is right 'cause that makes me want to vomit.

Shadow - Ooh… Bad comeback…

Tails - This isn't Yo Momma. Quite frankly, this isn't Yo Daddy either. And as for what Shadow said, ignore it. I prefer you to go away.

MSX - A double pun! Twenty-seven!

Scratch - You know, I heard Eggman's been pretty lazy recently. Yeah, they said he's become a vegetable.

Shadow - I… Don't get it…

Tails - Really? I guess that would make him an eggplant!

MSX - A redirection! Twenty-six!

Scratch - Eggman's so fat, looking at him makes your cholesterol go up!

Shadow - That was more of an insult.

Tails - Yeah, I have to admit, beating you isn't much pun at all.

MSX - Twenty-five! Now…

Deep Voice Coming From Nowhere - Finish him!

(The background becomes dark and Scratch begins swaying back and forth.)

Tails - A few days ago, Amy said MSX beat her up and stole her purse. I guess that would've made it muggy out.

(Scratch begins having a major seizure before exploding.)

MSX - Twenty-four!

Deep Voice Coming From Nowhere - Tails wins! Punalty!

Davy - Wow… Um… Yeah… Could you like… leave? We can't stand much more of these.

MSX - Fine. Cometh, my uber buddies!

(The group leaves and the entire cast of Mean Bean Machine explodes.)

Sonic - Nice job, Tails. You owned him!

Tails - Yeah, talk about a kick to the nuts.

MSX - Twenty-three.

Tails - I repeat, I'm not liking this gradually lowering pun count.

Narrator - Back at the Sonic residence…

Sonic - Oy! What's that stink?

Amy - I'm making okra for dinner.

Sonic - Well, stop already! This whole place reeks of the stuff! My home has become one giant pot of okra.

Tails - Oooooooookra home-a where the -SMACK-

(Tails falls to the ground unconscious.)

MSX - Twenty-two.

Shadow - Why'd you knock him out?

MSX - I didn't mean to.

Random Person - Mmm… All your emotions are belong to me.

Shadow - Who's that?

MSX - Some guy Kinetikai made up. He's called… Pootanda Marwickey.

Pootanda Marwickey - Mmm… All your belongings are belong to me.

(Pootanda waddles out of the house and sets fire to a box of Q-tips before flinging them at some random cat.)

Shadow - Odd…

MSX - Indeed…

Narrator - An hour later, Tails woke up to see Sonic and MSX playing Super Smash Bros. Melee. Sonic was Kirby and MSX was the Ice Climbers.

MSX - Fear the power of my wooden hammers!

(MSX charges a blast and blasts Kirby into the cosmos.)

Sonic - Not again!

Tails - Come on, MSX! Kick him to the Kirby!

Sonic - He's alive?

MSX - Guess so. Either way that's twenty-one.

(MSX wins and they change the level. MSX becomes Mr. Game and Watch while Sonic becomes Yoshi.)

Tails - Oh, say can Yoshi…

MSX - Twenty…

(MSX uses Mr. Game and Watch's extra jump to nail Yoshi into the cosmos.)

Tails - I think that he should ring his bell while doing that 'cause then he'd be a bell-hop!

MSX - Nineteen…

(Yoshi respawns and, due to 200 damage, MSX kills Yoshi immediately with Mr. Game and Watch's credit card.)

Tails - I guess you can take the credit for that kill.

MSX - Eighteen…

(Somebody knocks on the door.)

MSX - I'll get it.

(MSX, Sonic, and Tails run downstairs and answer the door. Immediately, a hatchet appears in MSX's hands.)

MSX - You!

Bark - Um… Wrong house?

(While the music from the first two Wario battles in _Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins_ plays, MSX chases Bark through the house with the hatchet.)

Tails - Oh God! Bark's sure to suffer a grizzly fate! I can't bear it any longer!

(The music scratches and both people stop.)

Bark - Uh…

MSX - Sixteen…

Bark - Look I need your help. A friend of mine's a doctor and he needs help diagnosing stuff.

MSX - Fine, I say they all have autism.

Bark - This is serious!

MSX - Fine, fine.

(The group is magically warped to a waiting room.)

MSX - Who's first?

Bark - Him.

(Everyone looks to a normal looking man.)

Tails - That's easy. Hemorrhoids!

Bark - Okay… Now him.

(Everyone looks to a news reporter.)

Tails - Polaroids!

Bark - (smacks self) Okay, him.

(Everyone looks to a man dressed as an astronaut.)

Tails - Asteroids!

Bark - Him…

(Everyone looks to a baseball player.)

Tails - Steroids!

Bark - And him.

(Everyone looks to a man doing the robot to crappy techno music.)

Tails - Androids!

MSX - That's… Twelve! Thank God, we're almost free of this torture!

Sonic - Something tells me something bad is gonna happen when he reaches zero.

Shadow - Since when have you been right?

Tikal - He's got a point.

Amy - He does.

Cream - Mm-hm!

Knuckles - Nacho.

(Bark lifts an eyebrow and everyone, save Bark, is warped back to the house.)

Tails - I'm starting to think that Bark's bipolar.

MSX - Eleven…

Tails - Oh! I almost forgot.

(Tails hands a gold medal to each of the Sonic crew.)

MSX - You still have these?

Tikal - What are these for?

Tails - Those are for being such good sports!

MSX - My God… We're at… TEN!

Tails - Uh oh…

Sonic - What?

Tails - Activate Overdrive Mode!

MSX - Oh boy…

(Tails runs over and punches Knuckles with his own hand.)

Tails - Congrats! You're a knucklehead!

MSX - Nine…

(Tails knocks himself upside the head with MSX's hand.)

Tails - That's corporal pun-ishment! Yuk yuk!

Everyone But Tails - Eight…

(Tails pushes Sonic next to Amy and points accusingly at her.)

Tails - Hedge hog!

Everyone On The Street - Seven…

Tails - I just heard that Korn is on American Idol. I guessed that would make them Pop Korn!

Everyone In The City - Six…

(Tails puts a potato on the couch.)

Tails - I give you a couch potato!

Everyone In The State - Five…

Tails - When I was in Hawaii, I bought some ties, but someone stole them. Can you believe that? Someone stole mai-tais!

Everyone In The Country - Four…

Tails - Jay Leno just bought a new pet. It's a chin-chilla!

Everyone In The World - Three…

Tails - Mr. T threw a $50 bill in a swimming pool! He fiddy da pool!

Everyone In The Universe - Two…

Tails - The entire cast of Charlie Brown dressed up as clowns. I guess that makes them Circus Peanuts!

God - ONE!

Tails - I…

MSX - WELL?

Tails - I… feel… like singing!

MSX - Oh dear God…

(A Beach Boys beat begins playing as MSX and CO. get weird looks in their eyes.)

Tails - Well it's Bad Pun Day, so I'm making lots of puns understand now! Like asking Phil Hellmuth if he'd be nice and give me a hand now! If I had a bit of rubber, I could start my own pun-making band now! And I'll make puns puns puns 'til the paddywagon takes me away!

MSX & Co. - Puns puns puns 'til the paddywagon takes him away…

Tails - Like a box full of dead clowns, this has truly become a sad case now!

MSX & Co - Dead clowns in a case now; dead clowns in a case…

Tails - Like DDR I need great feets of strength to keep up the pace now!

MSX & Co. - Dead clowns in a case now; dead clowns in a case…

Tails - I can't be out-foxed! I'm a ticking clock that you have to face now!

MSX & Co. - Dead clowns in a case now; dead clowns in a case…

Tails - And I'll make puns puns puns 'til the insane asylum takes me to stay!

MSX & Co. - Puns puns puns 'til the insane asylum takes him to stay…

Tails - I'm Prower the Pun-isher! I know my puns are turning you blue now!

MSX & Co. - We're going to die; I swear we're going to die…

Tails - Like how Tigger's Tigger-happy and he's in the bathroom looking for Pooh now!

MSX & Co. - We're going to die; I swear we're going to die…

Tails - When I die, I'll be Tails from the Crypt! I'm dead serious too now!

MSX & Co. - We're going to die; I swear we're going to die…

Tails - And I'll keep making puns puns puns 'til the paddywagon takes me away!

MSX & Co. - Puns puns puns 'til the paddywagon takes him away….

Tails - And I'll make puns puns puns 'Til the insane asylum takes me to stay!

MSX & Co. - Puns puns puns 'til the insane asylum takes him to stay… Puns puns puns 'til the paddywagon takes him away... Puns puns puns 'til the insane asylum takes him to stay… Puns puns puns 'til the paddywagon takes him away… Puns puns puns 'til the insane asylum takes him to stay… Puns puns puns 'til the paddywagon takes him away…

Shadow - I hope you realize that the Beach Boys are gonna have your head on a plate.

(The music ends and everyone, save Tails, begins panting hard.)

Tikal - What are we at? I lost count during the song.

Tails - I've got… -lowers his arms-

MSX - What?

Tails - I've got no more puns left.

Narrator - Due to obvious circumstances, the world then exploded.

* * *

Yay! My 200th chapter! Woot! Anyways, in the next chapter, MSX takes Sonic and Co. to his school where only the tards survive. Until then, Read and Review and I'll continue! 


	11. Welcome To Special Ed

Sonic Syndrome

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sonic characters, nor do I truly own Metal Sonic EX. It is my friend's idea and the credit goes to him. I'm merely using it as a penname.

In this chapter, MSX takes Sonic and Co. to his school where only the tards survive. I am serious when I say I go to a special education school. And I do ride the short bus to school. Anyways, here's episode number eleven!!

* * *

Episode 11

Welcome To Special Ed

* * *

Sonic - What did I tell you!? Something bad happened! 

Narrator - After fixing the world, MSX and the gang are in a meeting in the living to figure out what to do with Tails.

Shadow - Any ideas?

Amy - He made the world blow up by running out of puns.

MSX - I say lifetime exile!

Sonic - I say lifetime beatings!

God - I say eternal damnation!

Cream - I say we skin him and hang him in the town square for all to see!

(Everyone slowly looks to Cream.)

MSX - I hate to say it, but I like you now.

Tails - I'm back!

MSX - Just in time for a lifetime of exile and beatings followed by being skinned and hung to dry before your eternal damnation!

Tails - Right… So, I felt sorry about blowing the world up. So I went online and printed two pages of an apology.

MSX - Two pages…

Tails - Actually, it's two hundred…

MSX - Warmer…

Tails - …thousand…

MSX - There ya go!

Tails - …pages of…

Shadow - An apology. You told us.

Tails - Actually, I lied. It's two hundred thousand pages… -turns bundle of paper around- …of more puns!

(A long silence follows.)

God - Blasphemy, says I!

MSX - Take this! -snaps magic fingers and burns pages into nothing-

Tails - I figured you'd do that. So I printed of several hundred copies just to be safe.

Tikal - How many trees did you kill to make those?!

Tails - Actually…

TV Reporter - And in other news today, there seems to be a worldwide shortage of Chao…

(Everyone slowly turns to Tails.)

Tails - They make great paper. -smiles innocently-

Shadow - That's it!

(Tails quickly dashes onto a stool and began dancing like a white person who lives in the 60s as Shadow dashed up.)

Random Text - Basic Pun

Tails - Why you acting all shady all of a sudden?

(Shadow falls backwards, but jumps to his feet.)

Random Text - 20 damage! Shadow changes weapon to… whip!

(Shadow pulls a whip out of nowhere.)

Random Text - Power Pun

Tails - Looks like you're gonna… WHIP me into shape!

(Shadow clutches his chest and falls to the ground.)

Random Text - It's super-effective! Your party has died!

(Tails jumped off of the stool and did a victory pose as a random fanfare plays in the background.)

Sonic - Do you ride the short bus to school or something? Honestly! Why the Chao?!

MSX -Watch it! I ride the short bus to school!

(Everyone turns to look at MSX.)

MSX - I'm serious. Oh, look! There it is!

(A short bus pulls up. Suddenly, the group appears in the bus.)

Bus Driver - Weird…

(The bus begins driving off when some short kid in the back begins yakking.)

Short Kid - Yakyakyak! Themostannoyingkidinthewholeschoolgraduatedlastyear… SoI'mheretotakehisplace! Yakyakyak! Blahblahblah! Allthistalkingisdeprivingmybrainofoxygenbutidon'tcare! Igotstufftosayandyouregonnalisten! Yakkityyakblahblahyak!

(MSX stands up and points shotgun at kid.)

MSX - Silence, shorty!

(A bummed-out kid gets on.)

Bummed-Out Kid - Hi, MSX.

MSX - Don't talk to me.

Bummed-Out Kid - But, we're friends.

MSX - No, we're not!

Bummed-Out Kid - Says who?

God - Says I!

Bummed-Out Kid - Oh… I'm so…

MSX - Pathetic? That you are!

(The bus arrives at the school.)

MSX - Here we are!

Sonic - You took us to school?

MSX - For one day only though. I've got an indefinite author's leave.

Tikal - Sure…

(Ten minutes go by before the kids are allowed off of the buses and into the school.)

Shadow - -gasping- Thank… God… Too much… bus in… system!

Tails - I guess we got bus-ted!

MSX - Come on and I'll ignore that pun!

(The group walks into a classroom where a Sega Genesis is hooked up.)

Amy - You've got a Sega here?

MSX - It may be sped, but this school rocks! More so than last year!

Tikal - How so?

-Flashback-

(The setting is computer class. Everyone stands for the Pledge of Allegiance except MSX.)

Kinetikai - Why aren't you standing?

(The American flag flips into the wall and the Nazi flag pops out.)

Teacher - I pledge allegiance to Heil Hitler of the united states of Germany! And to the republic where no one is spared, one nation, under Hitler, executable, with liberty and justice for none!

(The Nazi flag flips into the wall and the American one pops out again.)

Kinetikai - Oh…

MSX - I refuse to take part in anything un-American.

-End Flashback-

MSX - No comment.

Sonic - What? A computer teacher that acts like Hitler? Sounds familiar…

MSX - You met him when I first met you guys.

Amy - We did?

-Flashback-

Teacher - For next assignment, you draw picture!

(The teacher picks up a baseball bat and walks over to Cream's seat.)

Teacher - What are you making?

Cream - A… smiley man…

Teacher - Hmmm… It's good.

Cream - Really?

Teacher - Yes, but he needs to be sad! -hits picture with baseball bat several times- There! Now he is sad. Carry on!

-End Flashback-

Cream - I remember that! That meanie!

Tails - Anything else that we should know about?

(Ninja music starts playing.)

MSX - Well…

(Big walks in and waves as someone drops from the ceiling, snaps his neck, looks around, and begins running down the hallway walls.

MSX - My friend is obsessed with ninjas. He's stayed here even though he graduated last year. I don't know why…

Teacher - Class is about to begin.

MSX - Goody…

(Everyone sits down and MSX's ninja friend pops back in.)

Ninja Friend - Ninja stealth kill!

(The ninja friend throws a saltine cracker at Cheese, who is pinned to the wall by it. He brings out more saltines and makes Cheese a bloody spot on the wall before disappearing in the typical ninja way.)

Ninja Friend - Ninja stealth escape!

(He throws a capsule at the ground, but it explodes and he flies through the wall.)

Ninja Friend - Wrong… capsule…

MSX - That's Lord T.

Amy - Lord T?

MSX - I'd rather not use his name.

(A hour passes by before MSX leaves the room. The group follows him.)

MSX - I'm waiting for the bus to my secondary school.

Cream - Really?

(Lord T breaks through the floor and cuts Cream into little chunks with a ruler before disappearing using another exploding capsule.)

MSX - Yes.

(The bus comes and the group just gapes at the fact that there's nowhere to sit.)

Shadow - There's nowhere to sit!

MSX - Pansies!

(Everyone looks up to the ceiling where MSX is magnetically attached to it.)

MSX - Improvise!

(Once at MSX's other school, everybody takes there seats, but 'Eyes To The Front, Please' pops on the screens of every computer.)

Tikal - What the crap?!

(Lord T pops out of the monitor, stabs Amy in the head with a protractor and retreats into the monitor.)

Tikal - I repeat: What the crap?!

(After having fun at MSX's secondary school, the group returns to first school where Knuckles walks into the 'barely visible noose' and is hung.)

Sonic - What happened to Knuckles?

Shadow - Who cares?

Tikal - -looks around nervously-

(Back in class, everyone goes on the computers until Lord T pops out the floor and pulls Shadow into secret underground passage where he is slicing in half by a yardstick.)

Sonic - What happened to Shadow?

Tails - Who cares?

Tikal - -looks around nervously-

(On the way to the 5th hour class, Lord T busts through a door and drags Tails into a science lab where he strangles him to death.)

Sonic - What happened to Tails?

MSX - Who cares?

Tikal - -looks around nervously- Wait! Who cares about Tails?

MSX - -enters Spanish class and speaks in Spanish-

Spanish Teacher - What?

Tails - That's what I want to know.

(Sonic turns to Tails.)

Sonic - I thought Lord T killed you. -gets hit with large block of plaster- Ow! What's that?

MSX - The fourth wall. And look… -rips it in half- You broke it. Lord T!

(Lord T is suddenly sitting in the desk at the front of the class.)

MSX - If you will…

Lord T - -snores-

MSX - Apparently, being a ninja…

Lord T - -suddenly sits up- Ninja!

(Lord T throws a textbook in a random direction and it nails the teacher in the head.)

MSX - You didn't kill him.

Lord T - Sometimes, ninja kills _very_ stretched out and painful. He will die of brain damage in a week. -throws another exploding capsule at ground-

MSX - Right… -chuckles- Argentine Santa Claus…

Sonic - What?

MSX - Last year, my teacher had this giant soccer ball that I'd carry over my back like Santa's sack o' toys.

Tails - Right…

(School ends and Lord T pushes Sonic into the hall.)

Sonic - What was that for?

(Sonic is then trampled by a stampede of kids.)

Sonic - Ouch…

Lord T - I have failed! I must return to the temple of honor and beg my ancestors for forgiveness!

MSX - Allow me.

(MSX throws a capsule and he disappears in another explosion.)

Tails - You blew him up?

MSX - No, I teleported him with my author powers. I just wanted to destroy something. Come, Sonic!

Sonic - -moaning-

Tails - I swear this place is like Alcatraz…

(The group walk outside and they find themselves on an Alcatraz-like island.)

Tails - That pun disgusts even me.

(A shotgun cocks.)

Evil Lady - We wouldn't be leaving now, wouldn't we?

MSX - You're just like Mr. Hankey, ya know?

Evil Lady - How so?

(MSX seals the door just as the evil lady yells 'Son of a…'.)

MSX - Hey, look!

(Lord T is running across the water when a shark jumps out and eats him.)

MSX - That sucks.

Lord T - I know.

(Everyone turns to Lord T, who is perfectly fine and is holding a dead shark.)

MSX - Right… Oh, wait! Here comes the hoverbus! Come on, Sonic!

(MSX grabs Sonic and hops onto the bus as it drives by, leaving Tails behind.)

Tails - Um… Hi…

Lord T - Hi.

(Moments pass before Lord T beats Tails to death with the shark.)

Tails - Wow! Those lone sharks really hurt!

(The bus suddenly lands and begins driving down the road. Suddenly, Lord T reaches through the bus' underside and grabs Sonic's legs. He then pulls him through the floor and throws him onto the street where he rolls away from the bus and gets hit by a truck. MSX gets off on his stop and enters the house.)

MSX - Home, sweet home. Right, guys? Guys? -notices that no one's there- What the crap…

(Lord T pops out of the sofa and lands next to MSX.)

MSX - I'm sorry, Lord T. But I can't have you in any more chapters if you're going to kill every… -gets his neck snapped-

Lord T - Ninja Gaiden! -disappears in a puff of smoke-

* * *

In the next chapter, MSX makes a deal with the group and everyone gets their own TV show. Until then, Read and Review and I'll continue!! 


	12. Sonic Syndrome TV

Sonic Syndrome

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sonic characters, nor do I truly own Metal Sonic EX. It is my friend's idea and the credit goes to him. I'm merely using it as a penname.

In this chapter, MSX makes a deal with the group and everyone gets their own TV show. I'll also throw in a character from Death Bologna in here. Those who have read the fanfic should recognize him. If you don't recognize him, read Death Bologna! (Note the shameless advertisement) Anyways, here's episode number twelve!!

* * *

Episode 12

Sonic Syndrome TV

* * *

Narrator - I don't have good feeling about this…

MSX - Read your lines!

Narrator - -sighs- After their run-in with 'Lord T', the Sonic cast is revived. Again.

Sonic - We seem to die a lot. -looks at MSX-

Rouge - Hey, guys.

(Everyone turns to her.)

Tikal - Where have you been?

Rouge - Did I miss something?

(Lord T hops in and gasps.)

Lord T - Gadzooks! I missed one!

(Lord T dashes over thrusts his fist through her chest and shrieks.)

Lord T - Implants!

MSX - No… That's called a heart.

Lord T - Right. So it is.

Rouge - Could you… put it back now…

Lord T - Very well.

(Lord T puts the heart back only to pull it out later.)

Lord T - You did not say for how long!

Rouge - Ugh… -dies-

Lord T - Another for my collection!

(Lord T pulls out a chest and is about to open it when he turns and looks at the creeped-out Sonic Team.)

Lord T - It's mine! -disappears in a cloud of smoke-

MSX - Right…

(A toaster dings in the background.)

Sonic- Your toaster sucks!

MSX - I know.

Cream - What's that mean?

MSX - It toasts one side, but not the other.

Sonic - It's half toast, half bread.

MSX - I call it boast.

Tails - That's nothing to brag about!

(Tails is watching TV, almost completely oblivious to everything else.)

Tails - What? And who was that?

(Shadow points to his bandaged midsection.)

Tails - That's nice.

MSX - Why are you watching TV? It's Sunday. Nothing's on.

Shadow - There's football.

MSX - Bah! Curse those sports! We need to make our own shows!

Tikal - How do we do that?

MSX - A friend of mine owes me a favor.

Amy - Really? Who?

(The groups is suddenly in Bill Gates' office. MSX is on the desk with a shotgun pointed to Bill Gates' face.)

MSX - I'm here to cash in my favor!

Bill Gates - Very well…

MSX - -lowers shotgun- What? No fear?

Bill Gates - Shoot me.

MSX - Can't argue with that logic. -shoots Bill Gates-

(Bill Gates' head is blown off, but another instantly grows from his neck.)

Bill Gates - I'm so filthy, stinking rich, I'm immortal. You can't kill. It's impossible.

MSX - Ugh… Fine, money. Needed. Now! Give me!

Bill Gates - Very well.

(The group suddenly finds themselves in a TV studio with several sacks of money next to them.)

Director - What the…

MSX - You're current Sunday lineup sucks! We are here to create our own Sunday shows to decrease the suckage level of Sunday TV!

Director - If you say so…

Narrator - One week later…

MSX - Well, here goes.

(MSX sits in the middle of the couch with everyone else sitting nearby. MSX turns the TV on.)

TV Shadow - I am Shadow the Hedgehog, the coolest character in Sega… -real Shadow gets glare from real Sonic- …and I'm about to pull the prank of the century.

Shadow - Must we watch this?

MSX - Silence!

TV Shadow - -runs up to Big- Hey, Big! There's a manhole in the center of the freeway that Froggy is in!

Big - Agh! I'm coming, Froggy! -runs into traffic and is hit several time-

TV Shadow - You've just been Shadow'd!

Sonic - That is the most unoriginal name I've ever head.

MSX - -flips channel- Yay!

TV MSX - Welcome to Malevolence TV!

Crowd - -cheers-

TV MSX - Here's our first victim. -motions towards Bean- By show of hands, let him live?

Crowd - -no one raises their hand-

TV MSX - By show of hands, kill him?

Crowd - -half of crowd raises their hands-

Bean - What?

TV MSX - By show of hands, draw it out?

Crowd - -everyone raises their hands-

Bean - What!?

MSX - -chuckles- Next! -clicks channel- Agh!

Twiggy - Hi, evewybody! Welcome to Wetawd Centwal!

MSX - No! -mutes TV-

Subtitles - - pops up as Twiggy continues talking- Sowwy, but that won't work.

MSX - Off! -turns TV off, but it doesn't-

Subtitles - That won't work either.

MSX - Fine! -punches TV-

Twiggy - -climbs out of wrecked TV- Was that weawwy necessawy?

MSX - -walks up to Twiggy with baseball bat- Yes!

(MSX swings the bat and Twiggy goes flying through the roof.)

MSX - I don't think that'll be the last time we see him.

Sonic - Who was that?

MSX - No one! Onward! -fixes TV-

TV Knuckles - This is Knuckles with ESPN 3!

TV MSX - Ugh…

TV Knuckles - I think I'll make a good Joe Madden. What do you think?

TV MSX - I hate you, Knuckles.

TV Knuckles - Knuckles Echidna Football '05! I can see it now!

TV MSX - Stop it, Knuckles.

TV Knuckles - He goes past the line of scrimmage and…

TV MSX - I'm going to hurt you, Knuckles.

TV Knuckles - Right… On to Big with extreme fishing.

TV Big - Nothin' yet. -line is tugged- I got a big one!

(Perfect Chaos rises from the water.)

Big - SWEET JES… -gets eaten-

TV Knuckles - Right… On to Bark. How's it going?

TV Bark - Um… Well…

(The camera pans out to see MSX with a shotgun aimed at his head.)

TV Bark - Whatever. Anyways, I'm here at the annual evil genius Olympics. Here goes the one-hundred grumble.

Announcer - And… GO!

(Eggman begins speed-walking.)

Eggman - StupidSonicalwaysruiningmyplans-grumble- -grumble-stupidmachinesstupidSonicstupidlogic-grumble- -grumble-

TV Knuckles - Right… -channel is flipped-

TV Tails - Welcome to Let's Have Pun!

Tikal - Where's the FCC when you need them?

(All eyes look behind the couch where MSX is whistling innocently while sitting on a shaking chest labeled 'FCC'.)

Tikal - Right… -changes channel-

TV Tails - I am immune to your hatering costs! I refuse to pay for four meatloaves. I ordered three! Three!

Shadow - Moving on! -changes channel-

TV Amy - But it's his baby!

TV Tikal - Oh… My… God…

God - -walks in- You summoned, my child?

(A long silence follows.)

God - What?

Shadow - Boring! -changes channel-

TV Cream - Captain Cheese! A meteor is heading for us! -BANG!- Eek!

TV MSX - -is on windshield- I'm not a meteor! I'm an ass-teroid! Yuk yuk!

TV Cream - What the…

(TV MSX rips off his suit and reveals TV Tails.)

TV Tails - What do you get when you cross a black hole and a cow?

Shadow - Moving on! Very quickly! -changes channel-

Announcer - And now back to Cookin' With Chaos!

Chaos - -makes bubbly noises-

Random Audience Member - What did he say?

Shadow - We've got one left.

(All eyes turn to Sonic.)

Sonic - What?

Shadow - Let's see how badly you screwed up. -changes channel-

TV Sonic - Hi, I'm Sonic. And this is Sonic Adventure 2: Battle in one second.

(The TV screen flashes briefly before the entire Sonic cast has a seizure.)

Tails - So… many… colors…

MSX - Is it just me or did we make Sunday TV suck worse?

* * *

Yes… I did… Last chapter, I brought Lord T in. This chapter, I made Twiggy an official character in this fic. Thus, from here on, there will be several references to Death Bologna. Anyways, in the next chapter, MSX goes crazy again as the ultimate evil returns. Until then, Read and Review and I'll continue!! 


	13. The Ultimate Evil Returns

Sonic Syndrome

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sonic characters, nor do I truly own Metal Sonic EX. It is my friend's idea and the credit goes to him. I'm merely using it as a penname.

In this chapter, MSX goes crazy again as the ultimate evil returns. Now, this is going to have the last evil, plus one more that's worse… Anyways, here's episode number thirteen!!

* * *

Episode 13

The Ultimate Evil Returns

* * *

Narrator - Again, I don't have good feeling about this…

MSX - Will you please shut up?!

Shadow - Really now? It's back, huh?

MSX - NO. I don't plan to turn you all into chibis when you least expect it.

Sonic - What?

MSX - Let's go fishing!

Knuckles - But…

MSX - Fishing!

Narrator - A few moments later…

Shadow - -in waders- This sucks. I've got water in places that water shouldn't be.

Big - Pansy!

(Shadow turns to Big and shoots him.)

Shadow - Thank you, Sonic Team. -cuddles gun-

MSX - Creepy…

(The next thing everyone knows, they're on the top of a skyscraper in New York.)

Tails - The sky's the limit!

MSX - You're losing your touch.

(Lord T pops out and pushes Tails off the building. Everyone watches as he smashes into the ground.)

Shadow - Again, doesn't he know he can fly?

(Tails flies down from the sky and pushes Lord T off of the skyscraper. Using his many ninja skills, Lord T reappears on top of the building in a puff of smoke.)

Lord T - You offend me, small, annoying one. I challenge you… to a ninja showdown!

Tails - Bring it on!

(The group is suddenly in a ninja arena.)

Shadow - Hmmm… Big arena…

MSX - Yes… Big arena…

(Everyone looks down and sees that they've been chibified.)

Sonic - Hey, look at Tails! He's like a half-inch talk!

Tails - I am not!

Rouge - Maybe, but you sound like a munchkin.

MSX - Now, to execute my plan.

Tikal - Which is?

MSX - -puts sunglasses on- To form the Chibi Mafia. No one will be safe from us.

Narrator - Thus began the terror of what would be one of the most feared gangs in the world. Or so it would've been had it not been for…

Amusement Park Worker - I'm sorry, you must be this tall to dominate the world, striking fear into random people's hearts.

MSX - Curses! This calls for drastic measures. To the moon!

(MSX thrusts his fists into the air, but stays put.)

Amy - Um…

MSX - What for it!

Cream - Wait for what?

(MSX farts, then blasts off like a rocket.)

MSX - This is one small step for me, one giant leap for hedgehog-kind!

Twiggy - Wee!

(MSX looks over and sees Twiggy, also chibified, flying a Wienermobile into space.)

MSX - Wow, he actually did it.

(Once on the moon, MSX uses his gas as a jetpack before landing. He snaps his magic fingers and the group reappears next to him, dressed as astronauts.)

Tikal - Why doesn't the government ask you to fart in the Himalayas? You'd kill Osama for sure!

MSX - True.

Twiggy - Hi evewybody!

Sonic - Oh, look. It's the guy we don't know and oh my god, he's chibi!

Chibi Twiggy - How'd I get hewe?

MSX - Well, I think it was something involving the wiener… Wait! That's our line!

Chibi Twiggy - Oh, right!

(MSX hits Twiggy with a baseball bat and Twiggy slowly floats up before slowly descending and bouncing off of the ground.)

Chibi Twiggy - I falling vewy slowly… Yep… Definitely slow…

MSX - Bye, buddy!

Chibi Twiggy - I'm Twiggy!

MSX - I feel like being evil.

Knuckles - You just were. Or was that being smart? Or was it ambitious? Or maybe it was…

Tikal - Knuckles, shut up. Please?

MSX - Nicely put. And now, to vanish. -farts-

Shadow - Ugh! My throat… being attacked by… evil, fart germs!

Mr. Gravy Bag - Well, howdy…

Sonic - Screw… off!

Mr. Gravy Bag - Well, I never!

Sonic - …had a girlfriend? I know. It must be lonely being a bag of gravy.

(Mr. Gravy Bag walks up and slaps Sonic.)

Mr. Gravy Bag - I'm a bag of beef tips _in_ gravy, smartalec!

Tails - What ever… happened to… Dumb Pat? -dies-

(Moments later, everyone is dead.)

Mr. Gravy Bag - Whatever. -leaves-

Sonic - Wait! There's no air in space.

(Everyone shrugs and stands up.)

Shadow - Don't we have helmets on, too?

(A long pause follows.)

Sonic - If you feel stupid right now, say I.

Everyone Else - I!

Sonic - Figured.

Shadow - Why do I have the sudden feeling MSX is prepared something evil?

Amy - Don't worry! It's probably nothing!

* * *

In the next chapter, the craziest, strangest, and most random crap happens. Again, viewer discretion is advised. I am in no way liable for any injuries sustained from reading that chapter. Until then, Read and Review and I'll continue!! 


	14. Readers Beware

Sonic Syndrome

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sonic characters, nor do I truly own Metal Sonic EX. It is my friend's idea and the credit goes to him. I'm merely using it as a penname.

In this chapter, viewer discretion is advised. Just as a reminder, I'm not liable for any injuries sustained from reading this chapter. Anyways, here's episode number fourteen!!

* * *

Episode 14

Readers Beware

* * *

Narrator - Oh.. My… God… He has done something that I do not know, but will know soon enough …

Sonic - What _has_ he done moo, please?

Shadow - What?

Sonic - I said what _has_ he done moo, please.

Shadow - What's that last part?

Sonic - What moo, please? The '_has_ he done' part moo, please?

Shadow - No… The part with the moo and the please?

Sonic - Are you feeling okay moo, please?

Tails - Is who feeling…

(Tails suddenly shoves his thumb up his nose and makes disgusting slurping sounds for a few seconds before retracting his thumb.)

Tails - …okay?

Sonic - Should I be scared right now moo, please?

Shadow - Stop that!

Sonic - I can't stop it if you won't tell me what it is moo, please?

(The Jaws theme suddenly begins playing.)

Sonic - Shark moo, please! Get out of the water moo, please!

(Just as the tune reaches its' climax, it stops and Rouge walks in.)

Rouge - Hey, guys. Have you seen Cream around? I need to ask her something.

Cream - Cream heard Rouge call her name and Cream immediately began thinking of how to avoid her.

Rouge - Well, you could start by not talking while you're hiding in the closet.

Cream - Little did Rouge know, Cream was not in the closet.

Rouge - Sure…

(Rouge opens the closet and Amy falls out.)

Amy - Thanks for letting me out. I found something out while I was in there, too.

Sonic - And what would that be moo, please?

(Amy then does the Exorcist head twist.)

Amy - My neck is made of 100 Jell-O bones!

Shadow - Creepy…

Cream - While those pondered about what Amy meant, Cream slowly popped out of the couch and began making her way into the kitchen.

Rouge - Hold it right there, bunny!

Cream - Cream stopped in her tracks, silently cursing herself for being unable to not talk in the third person.

Shadow - Wait! Sonic ends his sentences with moo, please…

Sonic - I do not moo, please!

Shadow - …Tails makes disgusting slurping noises while picking his noise with his thumb…

(Tails proceeds to do just that as the Jaws theme begins playing again.)

Shadow - …Rouge appears during the Jaws theme…

(The tune reaches its' climax and Rouge opens her mouth to speak.)

Rouge - Huh?

Shadow - …Amy does the head twist from the Exorcist…

(Amy twists her head in a full 360° angle.)

Shadow - …and Cream talks in the third person…

Cream - Cream began considering moving out and moving into a Chao garden or something. But little did they know, Cream had an usual hunger for Chao flesh…

(Everyone stops what they're doing and turns to Cream.)

Cream - Again, Cream silently cursed the person who came up with the third person.

Shadow - This has MSX written all over it. Where is he?

Sonic - I think he went to the bank moo, please.

Shadow - Right, let's go. -opens front door-

Big - Madia he! Madia hu! Madia he! Madia ha -gets pushed over- HA!!! Ugh!

Tails - Screw you and your Numa Numa too!

Shadow - It's… It's everywhere…

Sonic - What's everywhere moo, please?

Shadow - That!

(Shadow points accusingly, yet cowardly at the lawn.)

Rouge - What? Grass?

Shadow - Don't mention that thing in my presence!

(Shadow runs into the house and jumps into the closet, closing the door behind him.)

Amy - Grass? -does the head twist- Grass is green.

Rouge - Come on, Cream. You're coming with us. Everyone to the SUV.

Cream - Little did the fools know, Cream cut the SUVs brake lines several chapters ago…

(Everyone pauses.)

Rouge - Who feels like walking?

(Everyone raises their hand.)

Cream - From that moment on, Cream vowed never to speak again until the third-person curse was lifted.

Knuckles - You!

(Knuckles runs across the street and points accusingly at a random bystander.)

Knuckles - You have it!

Random Bystander - Have what?

(Knuckles reaches back and shoves his hand into the man's pants. After squirming for a few seconds, Knuckles pulls out a stick of salami.)\

Knuckles - You salami-napper! -smacks man with salami before storming off-

Random Bystander - What the… -looks inside pants- Hey, my bologna sandwich!

Sonic - That was nasty as crap moo, please.

Rouge - Let's hurry and get moving.

(The Jaws theme begins again as the group begins walking down the road. When it reaches its' climax, the music stops as Rouge speaks.)

Rouge - Knuckles, don't eat that.

Narrator - Somewhere where the else is…

MSX - So, it's official.

Kinetikai - Yes, try not to rough them up too much. Okay, that's Twiggy's job!

MSX - So it is. Farewell!

Kinetikai - Farewell! -leaves-

(The Jaws theme begins playing once more.)

Cream - As she approached the one most likely responsible for her curse, Cream and the group considered various ways of pain to bestow upon him.

MSX - Yeah right, guys. -faces group-

(The Jaws music stops.)

Rouge - So _there_ you are!

MSX - Enjoying your own special curses?

Sonic - So, this 'moo, please' thing is a curse moo, please?

MSX - Yep!

Sonic - Why'd you make me have to say moo, please moo, please? What ever happened to 'Hi, guys.' moo, please? Or 'How ya doing?' moo, please?

Tikal - -walks up- Who'd of thought that my uberbuddies would be going for an uberwalk at the same ubertime that I did? That's uberrific!

Rouge - Lovely. Uber terms.

(Tails shoves his thumb up his nose as he makes disgusting slurping sounds.)

MSX - Yeah, this way please. Or should I say 'moo, please'?

Sonic - Very funny moo, please.

Narrator - At a time of later…

MSX - We are at our unknown destination. I mean, we're here. -knocks on door-

Eggman - That doorbell irritates me! It makes me want to… -opens the door- …play the nosewhistle!

(Eggman shoves a whistle into his nose and begins playing the flute. The Jaws theme plays again as Eggman plays for a few seconds before pulling the whistle out and posing. That's when the music stops.)

Rouge - That is the whitest thing I've ever seen.

Eggman - What? Why, you make me want to… play be banjo.

(Eggman begins plucking away at a banjo while talking in a fast-paced Redneck accent.)

MSX - Let's just go.

(The group leaves.)

Eggman - Wait! Come back! You haven't seen me play the tuba yet!

Narrator - Back in the house of Sonic's residence…

Shadow - -peeks out of closet- Is it gone?

Sonic - The grass is outside, buddy moo, please.

Shadow - -bursts from the closet- Then, to Eggman's hideout!

(Shadow runs outside only to scream, run back in, and jump back in the closet, closing the door afterwards.)

Shadow -The grass is gone. But the air…

Amy - Yeah…

Cream - Cream began questioning her own sanity and wondered if she should leave or continue living with these retards.

MSX - I'm not so sure I like that tone.

Knuckles - I've done it! I've drawn salami out of my own pants!

Rouge - But you don't wear… Oh my God!

(Knuckles does a cheesy pose in a bright red thong.)

Knuckles - -looks in thong- Hmmm… Must be the wrong thong.

Rocky - And now for something you'll really love!

Shadow - Punt!

(Shadow runs up and kicks Rocky through the ceiling.)

Shadow - Screw you and Bullwinkle too!

Twiggy - Excellent work, Shadow.

Shadow - Blagh! How'd you get in?

Twiggy - You left the door open.

Shadow - Oh.

Rouge - So, what are you doing here?

Twiggy - Well, I was returned from the moon on my Wienermobile when I ran out of gas, was rescued by aliens, and…

MSX - Hold it!

Twiggy - Figures.

MSX - Say 'I really wish that I had a bright red sports car right now.'

Twiggy - I really wish that I had a bright red sports car right now.

MSX - My power… -looks oddly at hands-

Sonic - What's with you moo, please?

MSX - By cursing you all, I somehow cured Twiggy of his speech impediment.

Random Reader - What?! Twiggy is Sonic's lesser-known third cousin with a speech impediment! You can't have a brownish hedgehog named Twiggy without a speech impediment!

MSX - I didn't mean too!

Sonic - Then why don't you uncurse us moo, please?

Twiggy - How 'bout he doesn't. I enjoy life with no speech impediment. No one makes fun of me anymore.

MSX - That's the problem. -snaps magic fingers- Twiggy, say that same sentence over again.

Twiggy - I weally wish that I had a bwight wed spowts caw wight now… Aw cwap… -leaves-

MSX - Never again will I abuse my powers like that.

Sonic - That's a relief.

MSX - My, my. Is it never already? -snaps magic fingers-

(The cast of Sonic is swallowed in a white light while screaming 'No!!!'.)

* * *

In the next chapter… well, let's just say I do something completely different… Until then, Read and Review and I'll continue!! 


	15. Now For Something Completely Different

Sonic Syndrome

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sonic characters, nor do I truly own Metal Sonic EX. It is my friend's idea and the credit goes to him. I'm merely using it as a penname.

* * *

Episode 15

…And Now For Something Completely Different

* * *

Sonic sat up and groggily looked around. He laid back down before realizing something and sitting up. "This isn't my room!" Sonic got out of bed and looked in the drawers. 

"These aren't my underpants!!" Sonic slowly walked to the closet and opened. He gasped then closed it before too much infidelity could get out. "That's _definitely_ not mine!!"

Sonic slowly walked downstairs and screamed like a little girl. "You're not… wait…" Tails lifted an eyebrow. "I'm not who?" Sonic looked closely at Tails, then kicked him in the sack. He fell to the ground and curled into the fetal position.

"Yep. That one's still mine." Sonic walked over him and into the living room where everyone was standing around for no reason. "Yo, what's up, the coolest G-Whizzle?!"

Everyone turned, save Tails, to look at a robotic version of Sonic dressed like a gangster. "I think that Eggman should stay away from the caffeine from now on." The robot sighed and threw off the clothes.

"Yo, I'm MSX, short for Metal Sonic EX. And as of this chapter…" MSX suddenly grew to a gigantic size, the entire world disappear and all that remained was fire. "I… Am… Your… God!!"

Shadow just blinked a few times. "Meh. That's cool." Everything went back to normal as MSX snapped his fingers. "Dang it! You guys are no fun. I need to make you more fun. Let us go and have fun!"

The group spontaneously appeared in the center of a ghost town as Tails slowly stood up. "Okay… Most of pain… subsided…" MSX sighed and summoned a sledgehammer by snapping his fingers. "You're about to get pwned."

Amy looked around, then started. "Um… Guys…" Everyone looked across the street where a purple, demon-like creature stood next to an identical group of furry heroes. They began walking towards each and MSX stooped by the demon's face. "Hey."

The Sonics, Shadows, Amys, and Rouges walked by saying 'Hi', both Tails had to be dragged past each other, and Twiggy stood in the middle. "Hi evewybody!!"

Everyone gasped and spun around. "Twiggy!" Twiggy smiled widely and waved. "How'd you get here?" Twiggy looked at a watch before continuing. "Well, I was flying awound in a helicoptew when…"

A scream was heard and grew louder until another Twiggy fell to the ground. "Other Twiggy!!" This Twiggy stood up and continued. "…this wabbit shot my down."

MSX paused. "That's it?" Both Twiggys nodded and the demon grew angry. "I did not make you to give simple explanations! I made you to give ridiculous explanations that have little to do with the current situation!!"

MSX blinked, then snapped his fingers. The group reappeared in Eggman's base. "Yeah… That got too retarded for me…" Sonic looked around. "So, what now?"

MSX pulled out a pipe and began puffing on it. "Well, seeing as this has no effect whatsoever on the actually story, this will most likely be a retarded and probably pretty short chapter."

Amy raised an eyebrow. "What?" MSX sighed and threw the pipe away. "This whole situation thing that you're in right now isn't going to last very long. And it won't affect your lives. At least, not directly…"

Rouge raised an eyebrow. "What?" MSX growled. "What? Do I have to speak Cro-Magnon in order for you to understand me?" Shadow raised an eyebrow. "What?"

MSX got a crazy look in his eye, but restrained himself. "You are not going to see me for very…" Sonic raised an eyebrow. "What?" MSX, who still held a sledgehammer, swung at Sonic, who cried out in surprise. "I dare one of you to raise an eyebrow and ask 'What?' again!"

Tails raised an eyebrow and was beamed in the face with the sledgehammer. Seconds later, he flew down to the ground. "I was just going to ask why you're acting so weird…"

MSX spun his head around like The Exorcist a few times before raising an eyebrow. "What?" Suddenly, the lights flashed on and Eggman stood in his hovercraft. "There you insult fools are!!"

MSX laughed out loud. "It's 'insolent fools', fatty fatty Eggman! Not 'insult fools!'" Eggman growled. "It doesn't matter once I defeat you with my latest, greatest creation!! The Eggbeater!!"

A giant pair of eggbeaters floated down from the ceiling and he entered the cockpit. "No offense, Eggman, but you've got to have a talk with Sonic Team about…" The Eggbeater started up and the group ran for it.

Meanwhile, in a quiet little village, the demon was talking with the Sonic cast. "That's what I said!" Just then, MSX and his group ran in front of them followed shortly after by the Eggbeater. "Were those giant eggbeaters?"

MSX opened a door and everyone ran in. MSX dashed in and closed the door. "Ha! Let's see him get inside now!" A fist punched through the wall and everyone backed up.

"Wakey wakey! Eggman and bakey!!" Everyone turned to Tails. "What?" Eggman, now in a turtle-like robot, walked through the wall. "Howdy! Behold my latest and greatest creation, the Egg Shell!!" Again everyone turned to Tails. "What?!"

Eggman withdrew into his shell and began spinning around. Just then, the demon was in and shot it with eye lasers. "Agh! Fire! My only weakness! But, created robot so powerful, it's not my latest or greatest! It's my grea…Okay, it is my greatest, but who's keeping track?"

MSX looked up from a pad of paper as Eggman growled. "Fine! Behold, the Eggman McMuffin!!" Tails held up an Egg McMuffin. "You mean this?" Eggman growled again. "No, I mean this!!"

A giant robotic McMuffin fell through the ceiling and Eggman quickly got into it. "Taste the power of my rocket-propelled French Fries!!" Eggman fired several French Fries at the demon, who fired eye lasers at them. "Nicely done, Kinetikai."

The demon grunted and pulled out a beam kitana. "Hoo-sou!! Larry Bigglesworth!!" Kinetikai jumped up onto the Eggman McMuffin just as Eggman pushed a button. "One extra-crispy demon coming up!!"

Kinetikai had a tub full of hot oil thrown onto him and he just looked peeved. "I'm peeved." Told you so. "What?! You should be extra-crispy!!" MSX shrugged and snapped his fingers. "He's probably gonna kill me for that later. Oh well!!"

Sonic looked around. "So… What now?" MSX shrugged, then began doing a jig. "Yeah! Get jiggy with it!" MSX glared at Tails. "Wait a minute… That pun lacked sting…" MSX ran over and ripped Tails head off. The body fell to the floor as MSX dropped the head.

"Wait a minute… Where's…" MSX looked around at a shocked Twiggy, who stood with the door half open. He turned around and closed the door, then ran for dear life. "My bad."

Sonic shrugged. "It's all good." Several thumping noises were heard on the room as Shadow sighed. "That's probably Tails now. Retard can't even go through walls." MSX chuckled. "He could before I reinforced the walls with one-hundred percent logic!!"

MSX began laughing evilly as everyone took a step back. "So, about the body…" MSX looked at it, then ate it whole. "You cannibal!!" MSX shrugged and began cleaning his metal teeth with a toothpick. "It works, doesn't it?"

The rest of the night was pretty uneventful, save Eggman finally being defeated by a trio of crime-fighting turkeys, a monkey with a minigun, and a German with an unusual interest in first century literature.

MSX quickly stuffed the entire cast into a giant bag, then ran outside. He ran past Kinetikai, who had a similar sack, and he dumped them into a similar house. Then, he ran back, pausing briefly to play a brief game of poker.

"Well, that's that. Now, we're I put that remote?" MSX looked under the couch and reached for it. When he couldn't he gobbled up the couch itself, grabbed the remote, and barfed out a Laz-E-Boy.

"Meh. It works." MSX sat down in it, pointed the remote at the camera, and pushed a button, and caused the screen to go black.

"Ah cwap. Wrong button."

"Ack! Twiggy!!"

* * *

Next time: The group heads around the world. 


	16. The MSX World Tour

Sonic Syndrome

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sonic characters, nor do I truly own Metal Sonic EX. It is my friend's idea and the credit goes to him. I'm merely using it as a penname.

* * *

Episode 16

The MSX World Tour

* * *

Narrator - Is this… It is? Thank God…

Sonic - I don't think I could ever do that again?

MSX - Again, eh? Hmmm…

Sonic - Don't you dare! We barely survived that last chapter!

(The fourth wall breaks.)

MSX - -gasp- You broke the fourth wall. Now, I must take you all… on a world tour!!

Sonic - No! Anything but… Wait… World tour? That's not so bad…

(The group spontaneously appears in an SUV.)

Shadow - Cool. Where to?

MSX - Italy!

(The car enters a warp and wind up in Italy.)

Shadow - Cool!

Mario - Mamma mia! You-a parked on Yoshi!

(MSX looks out of the window at Yoshi, who is under the car's front tire.)

MSX - Meh. Looked better in the movie. Not so fruity-looking.

(Big walks up carrying fish.)

Tails - How'd you get here?

(Big looks around suspiciously, then runs off as fast as a fat cat can.)

Tails - Okay.

MSX - Hey, look! The Leaning Tower of Pizza!

Tikal - It's Pisa.

MSX - -angrily- It's… Pizza…

Tikal - Whatever.

(Big runs under the tower and begins breathing heavily.)

MSX - This is too rich.

(MSX moves his fingers and the tower falls over onto him.)

Cream - You killed Mr. Big.

MSX - No. Mr. Big died 'cause he's a fatty. Come! We've seen enough.

Shadow - You just wanted to kill him, didn't you?

MSX - Yeah.

(The group enters the warp.)

MSX - Welcome to Easter Island.

(Everyone looks at Cream.)

Cream - What?

Sonic - What's up with the heads?

(Everyone walks closer.)

MSX - No one really knows.

(MSX turns around and opens a journal. He circles a picture of the heads and writes 'Super Weapon' above them. He closes the journal and turns around.)

MSX - Yep, no one really knows.

(Cream touches one of the heads and it quickly pulls her into its' mouth and eats her. Everyone freezes, then begins screaming. MSX is now quickly scribbling the picture of the heads out.)

Amy - That thing just at Cream!!

(The group gets back into the car and reappear outside of a large cave.)

MSX - These are the Mammoth Caves. They're big.

Rouge - I never would've guessed.

(Rouge walks into the cave and yells 'Hello!')

Rouge - Nothing.

(Hundreds of bats fly by, but Rouge is unfazed.)

Rouge - Still nothing.

(A stalagmite falls onto Rouge, combining her body with the dirt.)

MSX - …bummer…

Amy - Bu… Bummer? Everywhere we've gone, someone's died.

MSX - I killed Big. Cream and Rouge brought it upon themselves.

(The group reenters the SUV and just sit there.)

Sonic - No more dying, okay?

MSX - Fine…

(The group enters the warp and reappear at the base of the Statue of Liberty.)

MSX - Let's here it for America! -begins applauding-

Tails - Kinda big, isn't it?

(Lady Liberty looks down and growls.)

MSX - Did the statue just growl at you?

(Lady Liberty raises its' foot and crushes Tails with it. Everyone spin to MSX, who is stunned.)

MSX - Oh dear… The Statue of Liberty is alive…

(An awkward silence follows.)

MSX - Meh. Tails must've been French. Onward!

Amy - You said…

MSX - Completely out of my power. Onward!

(The group reluctantly reenters the warp.)

Twiggy - Where awe we going now?

MSX - Gah! Twiggy! How'd you get here?

Twiggy - I fell asleep in the caw.

MSX - That's it?

Twiggy - Yep.

MSX - …you bore me…

(MSX opens the door and throws Twiggy out of it. The group then exited the warp.)

Tikal - Tikal… Why are we here again? And why does it still smell like coffee beans?

Shadow - Coffee?

MSX - Down, boy!

(Tikal climbs onto a mound of dried coffee beans.)

Tikal - It looks like the temple is being excavated.

MSX - Um, Tikal… You might want to move.

Tikal - I'm looking at something.

(Tikal gets blown up when an archaeologist detonates some explosives.)

MSX - Serves you right. Come on. I've got a place where no one can die.

Narrator - Moments later…

MSX - Jamaica, mon!

Knuckles - Finally, I have returned to my roots… Woot!

Narrator - Several hours later…

Knuckles - -dying of lung cancer- Curse that Rasta… -dies-

MSX - Hmmm… Perhaps I overlooked that detail…

Sonic - Actually, it's technically impossible to die of cancer within a few hours.

MSX - Well, aren't we Mr. Smartypants. Come on. Let's leave.

Narrator - Moments later…

Amy - Switzerland?

MSX - Why not?

Amy - 'Why' is more like it.

MSX - Four words: Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory!

Sonic - Okay…

MSX - And look! Swiss Cheese!

(Cheese begins dancing in wooden, Chao-sized shoes.)

Amy - I thought those were Dutch.

MSX - You might just be right. Be back in a minute… -grabs Cheese-

Narrator - One minute later…

MSX - Anyone up for some Dutch chocolate?

Sonic - I'll… pass…

Amy - Ditto…

MSX - Oh well. Onwards.

Narrator - Just then…

Shadow - Are we in Trump Tower?

Donald Trump - Yes, I brought you here with my other-worldly powers to tell you this: you're fired!

MSX - No. You're fired!

(MSX shoots a flamethrower at Trump, who uses magic and reverts the flames towards Amy.)

Sonic - Woohoo!! No more Amy!!

MSX - Quickly! Let's leave!

Trump - You can't escape me! I'm too rich! I'll find you!!

Narrator - Seconds later…

(The group reappears in a field where Sonic is promptly struck by lightning. A few more seconds pass and both MSX and Shadow reappear in the house.)

MSX - What have we learned?

Shadow - Never let you plan a road trip?

MSX - Close enough!

* * *

Next time: The group gets drafted into the army. 


	17. Military Sonic EX

Sonic Syndrome

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sonic characters, nor do I truly own Metal Sonic EX. It is my friend's idea and the credit goes to him. I'm merely using it as a penname.

* * *

Episode 17

Military Sonic EX

* * *

Narrator - Well, this can't be good…

TV Announcer - This isn't good! Bush, being the retard that he is, has brought back the draft, meaning that everyone who isn't 75 must join the army. God, I hope he gets a heart attack or something.

Shadow - Yes! Now I can make up for 'Nam!

Sonic - For the last time, you weren't in the Vietnam War.

Shadow - Yes, I was! You can't crush my hopes, you communist…

MSX - _I_ think that that's far enough. Well, I've already signed us up and…

(The group spontaneously finds themselves in a boot camp.)

MSX - …we've been accepted into this, the Boot Camp For Turned Pansies Into Killing War Machines! Or the BCFTPIKWM for short.

Amy - Sometimes, I don't know why I deal with you.

(Some random officer walks up.)

Officer - At attention, rookies! You will be trained to be killing war machines and the one who will do it… is him!!

(Everyone turns to a Terminator-like man.)

Officer - -sigh- Turn around…

(The man turns around to reveal Chazzo in war attire.)

MSX - -gasp- Chazzo!

Officer - That's General Chazzo to you, worm!!

MSX - Dude, I raised him from birth. I played the game for hours to give him the 'roids. I _made_ him.

Officer - And now, he'll make you, worm!!

MSX - Say 'worm' one more time. I dare you.

Officer - What are you going to do about it, worm?!

(MSX's hands become an arsenal of the deadliest weapons in existence.)

MSX - Wrong question.

Narrator - So, after one one-second pwning spree…

(The officer now lays on the ground as a pile of ash.)

MSX - Alright, _General_ Chazzo. What's first?

Narrator - So, after several weeks of extensive training…

(The entire group is in the infirmary.)

MSX - Pansies…

(Everyone turns to MSX, who's in a full body cast.)

MSX - At least I didn't cry.

Shadow - It's physically impossible for you to cry.

Tails - Actually…

Shadow - Correct me and I'll stab you.

Twiggy - Well, this weally sucks.

Everyone - Twiggy!

Twiggy - Hewwo evewybody!!

MSX - How'd you get here?

Twiggy - I got dwafted too, wemembew?

MSX - Oh… Wight… I mean, right! Curse you, Twiggy! Curse you and your unnatural impediment!

Narrator - Several weeks later…

(The group is now in full war attire.)

MSX - Hey, cool. Bomb.

(Everyone spins around to face a bomb that's lying there for no reason. Chazzo runs up, swallows the bomb, then belches a flame that disintegrates Cheese.)

Cream - You killed Cheese!!

MSX - Wait a minute… I thought they didn't let pansies into the army…

-Flashback-

(Cream, who's dressed like Solid Snake, puts a box onto her head, sneaks behind a guard, then slits his throat, growls, then goes back under the box.)

-End Flashback-

Cream - Um…

Shadow - When we get home, I'm buying you a Coke.

Amy - When I get home, I'm going to take a bath.

MSX - When I get home, I'm going to continue torturing you all.

(Everyone turns to him.)

MSX - What? It's a living.

Narrator - Later…

(Chazzo is awarded some kind of shiny medal for saving the group.)

MSX - I'm regretting giving you the 'roids.

Narrator - And now, as issued by MSX, something that's completely off topic!

MSX - Well, I think that The Simpsons is the funniest show out there.

MSX - Well, there is Family Guy.

MSX - That's just a cheap knockoff.

MSX - American Dad?

MSX - A knockoff of a knockoff!

MSX - Okay, what about Futurama?

MSX - Normal knockoff. I don't care who you are! The Simpsons is the greatest comedy show!

MSX - Okay, whatever…

Narrator - Now, back to the episode!!

MSX - That was completely off topic!

Shadow - The Simpsons?

Sonic - Family Guy?

Amy - American Dad?

Twiggy - Futuwama?

MSX - Twiggy!!

Tails - Bubble bath!

Sonic - Alarm clock!

MSX - Jelly doughnut!

Shadow - Baked goods!

Twiggy - Wed wovew, wed wovew! Send Wandy wight ovew!!

Narrator - Um… I've going to… intervene now…

(Chazzo mutters a series of Chao noises at the Narrator.)

Narrator - I'm pretty certain that that thing just cursed me out. Anyways…

MSX - I don't believe it.

Twiggy - Me neithew.

(MSX hits Twiggy into the cosmos with a wiffle bat.)

MSX - Chazzo's let me behind to control a war. -sniffles- I'm so proud… -frowns- But he's stealing my spotlight, so let's kill him!!

Sonic - What? Why?

(MSX points to a pile of retarded-looking Chaos.)

MSX - Let's just say that that abused Chao pile is going to get one more addition.

(Chazzo is walking along, minding his own business when MSX notices a lump in the ground. MSX dives towards him, swallows him, and takes the mine blast to the chest. He then opens his mouth and lets Chazzo out.)

MSX - What do we say?

(Chazzo stares at him for a few seconds before farting.)

MSX - Why you ungrateful son of a…

Narrator - The next day…

TV Announcer - Police finally managed to apprehend the man responsible for assassinating Bush. He will be receiving the Nobel Peace Prize tonight.

MSX - Well, that was fun, wasn't it, Chazzo?

(MSX looks behind the couch at Chazzo, who's drooling on the floor.)

MSX - Excellent.

Sonic - Spandex!

Amy - Rolex!

Shadow - Mex…ican!

Tails - Tyrannosaurus rex!

Sonic - Uh… Spandex!

MSX - Metal Sonic EX!

Twiggy - Twiggy!

(MSX knocks Twiggy through the roof with a wiffle bat.)

MSX - That didn't end with an 'x' sound!!

* * *

Next time: MSX comes up with the top five top five lists. 


	18. The Top Five

Sonic Syndrome

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sonic characters, nor do I truly own Metal Sonic EX. It is my friend's idea and the credit goes to him. I'm merely using it as a penname.

* * *

Episode 18

The Top Five

* * *

Narrator - Huh? What kind of lame idea for a chapter is this?

MSX - Silence you!

(MSX walks into the living room.)

MSX - At attention!

(Everyone continues what they were doing.)

MSX - I said…

Shadow - We heard…

MSX - We've got new housemates.

(Everyone freezes, then slowly turns to him.)

Sonic - Who?

(The doorbell rings. MSX walks over as the Psycho theme starts playing. It climaxes as MSX opens the door.)

Twiggy - Hi evewy… -abrupt smashing in the face with a door-

MSX - Not him. Them.

(MSX opens the door again as Blaze turns to look across the street where Silver is using his powers to levitate a tree and smash a day care center with it.)

MSX - That's absolutely genius!!

(MSX runs outside and rips a tree out of the ground, then begins smashing the same building.)

Blaze - Is he always like this?

Cream - Blaze!

(Cream hugs Blaze.)

Blaze - Hey, Cream. -looks at Cheese- Hey, fruity-looking floaty thingie.

(Chazzo walks in, salutes Blaze, then walks out.)

Cream - That's Chazzo. He's evil.

Blaze - Uh-huh…

Silver - We sure showed those toddlers!

MSX - Yes. Now, they will forever fear the word 'mayonnaise'.

Blaze - What?

MSX - It is of no concern of yours!

Sonic - So, what's on the agenda for today? Aside from this.

(They spontaneously return to the auditorium.)

Sonic - Are their any games of mine that you haven't made fun of yet?

MSX - Yes! The next-generation titles. But that's in the next episode. For now, I will come up with as many top five lists as I can!

(A silence follows.)

Amy - Why?

MSX - 'Cause I can! First off, the top five worst Sonic characters.

Rouge - Let me guess…

MSX - 5.) E-102 Gamma. This guy dies within one game? What the crap?! Besides, Omega's much better.

(Omega walks in.)

Omega - Word up, my homies! -cheesy gangster pose-

(Omega walks out.)

MSX - 4.) Nack The Weasel. Triple Trouble and Sonic The Fighters. He seems to have more of a role in the comic series than in the gaming one. 3.) Bark. Enough said. 2.) Bean. See previous result. And, number one is…

Rouge - Metal Sonic.

MSX - Wrong! Without him, I would not be. It is instead… Tails!!

(Everyone turns to him.)

Tails - Meh. Saw that coming.

MSX - And by Tails, I mean Cheese.

Cream - What?! Why?

MSX - Come on! A bow tie? That's so fruity! Give him a skull like Chaotic!

(Everyone turns to a Dark Chao dressed as the Grim Reaper. He has a skull on his head.)

Silver - Has that thing always been there?

MSX - Next up… -glances at hand- My favorite Sonic games. 5.) Shadow The Hedgehog.

Shadow - Yes!

MSX - It got really repetitive real fast. Plus, I beat the game in a half-hour before.

Shadow - Dang…

MSX - Precisely. 4.) Sonic Heroes. Very nice, smooth game. Though Team Rose was a bunch of pansies and only had to do half of a level. Losers…

(Cream begins crying.)

MSX - Yes, cry you big baby! Give me the satisfaction, the knowledge that I've made a little girl cry! Mwahahaha!! Anyways, 3.) Sonic NEXT GEN. There was plenty of stuff wrong with this game. Music was definitely not one of them.

Silver - Cool.

MSX - You, however, are a big pain in my metal-plated…

Jack Thompson - Rhana-rhana-rhana! Games are evil!

(MSX fires his eye lasers at him, making him spontaneously combust.)

MSX - Now, where was I? Ah, yes! 2.) Sonic 3. This one's fun. Combined with & Knuckles and it no longer becomes fun because I've pwned the crap out of S3&K. And number one… Sonic Adventure 2: Battle. Can't get much better than that.

Tails - I beg to differ…

MSX - I beg for you to reconsider…

Clyde - I beg for change. And sometimes a house.

(Everyone turns to Clyde.)

MSX - What's up?

Clyde - Nothing much? Mind if I take a nap?

(MSX motions to the floor and Clyde promptly falls face-first on the ground and begins sleeping.)

MSX - Now, the top five things I'll never let Kinetikai live down.

(Kinetikai spontaneously appears in a chair next to Sonic.)

Kinetikai - I'm listening…

MSX - 5.) Let's just say that Final Fantasy X gets really annoying while fighting the Cactaur King and Great Malboro, isn't that right?

Kinetikai - Get cancer.

MSX - 4.) One time, I was doing sound test on SA2:B and he thought that I was actually in Chao Karate when I began playing the tune.

Kinetikai - Barely passable…

MSX - 3.) In Crash Twinsanity, he beat this tiki boss, then jumped onto it, died, and had to beat him all over again.

Kinetikai - Get a tumor, please.

MSX - 2.) One time, in FFX, he was debating whether to use Auto-Life while fighting a Behemoth King. He decided against it and ended up being wiped out by its' kamikaze attack.

Kinetikai - Heart disease. You. Now.

MSX - And, number one…

Kinetikai - -pulls out beam kitana- I'm listening…

MSX - Let me put it into perspective. Tonberry over here. Anima over there. Tonberry stabs statue of Anima over here. Anima is killed in one hit over there.

(Everyone turns to Kinetikai.)

Kinetikai - …please die… -disappears-

MSX - Well, the last list was the top five things he wouldn't have let me live down, but…

Kinetikai - -reappears- I'm listening…

-Insert list here-

Kinetikai - Where's my list?

Tikal - Loser.

Tails - You suck.

Twiggy - You'we a few eggwolls away fwom a Chinese westewaunt!

MSX - What does that have to do with anything?

(MSX starts.)

MSX - Of course. It gives me an idea for another list. The top five reason why you've got three seconds to run.

(MSX motions to his hands.)

MSX - Five. Four.

(MSX motions to his feet.)

MSX - Three. Two.

(MSX shoots Tails with his eye lasers and he explodes in a satisfying, but unexpected poof.)

MSX - One.

Sonic - Run away!

* * *

Next time: MSX dogs on the next-generation Sonic titles. 


	19. What's Next?

Sonic Syndrome

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sonic characters, nor do I truly own Metal Sonic EX. It is my friend's idea and the credit goes to him. I'm merely using it as a penname.

* * *

Episode 19

What's Next?

* * *

Narrator - Oh, give me a break.

MSX - Quiet or I'll break your leg. Now, seeing as I've finished beating you all up…

Sonic - -is beat up- Medic…

MSX - …I shall now parody the next-generation titles. First, Sonic The Hedgehog. Okay, first off, this isn't the first game. Change the title. Next, Silver! You absolutely suck! Shadow doesn't have his guns and Sonic… Well, that's still the same. Camera angle is bad. Aerial maneuverability is bad. The fact that Sonic dies and I'm not the one to do it is bad. But…

Silver - We're listening.

MSX - Music is great. Story isn't that bad, but could use work. And Sonic Man… -chuckles- That guy's funny… I give this game… a C! It does have it's bad moments, and quite a few of them at those, but it is still a good game. Next, The Secret Rings!

Tails - -is dressed in Arabic clothing- I am Ali Baba! Take me to treasure!

MSX - Yeah, whatever. Okay, I haven't played this 'cause I don't have a Wii yet. But, from what I've learned, a lot of people say that this game is the best one since the Genesis titles. So, for that, I'll give this game… a B+! I haven't played it, but it looks awesome. Not to mention Darkspine Sonic… -shivers with glee-

Sonic - Well, that went fast.

MSX - Ah, ah, ah! There's still two more… First off… -yells so loud that the entire planet hears- Thank you, God!!

Sonic - Say what?!

Shadow - Did you just say something?!

Twiggy - Hi evewybody!!

Shadow - We can't hear you, Twiggy!!

(MSX snaps his fingers and everyone regains their hearing.)

MSX - The next game is Mario & Sonic At The Olympics. Right off the bat. A+. Hands down. But, Sonic, I must ask you something. Are you seriously that retarded or are you just taking orders from someone who's not me? If so, where do they live?

Sonic - I don't think that I should tell you.

Blaze - I don't think that it's even out yet.

MSX - I know. But, it _is_ the first time that the world will officially see that Sonic will pwn Mario at everything. They've even got Judo!

Knuckles - Dibs!

Tails - Dibs!

Twiggy - Dibs!

MSX - Yes on the first. No on the last two. Finally, we have…

Clyde - -wakes up- I'm off. Gotta go sleep outside the local Starbucks now. -walks off-

MSX - Good luck. Anyways, finally, we have Sonic Rush.

Blaze - Sonic Rush?

MSX - Yeah, I _guess_ you could consider a next-gen title seeing as it was a late-modern, early next-gen game. Anyways, music… pretty bizarre, but Wrapped In Black and A New Day are flippin' awesome! Sonic, cool as ever. Blaze, I hate her with a, pardon the pun, fiery passion.

Blaze - Har, har.

MSX - I'm serious. You suck.

Blaze - I've got my own versions of Sonic's attacks!

MSX - And I can never tell which ones you're using. I give the game a C-.

Sonic - C-?!

MSX - The 'final' boss is hard, the actual final boss is harder, and it's next-to-impossible to get an S grade on a level. C-. That's my final verdict. Next, is Sonic Rush Adventure…

Shadow - I detect the distinct odor of sarcasm…

MSX - -sarcastically- Oh, please! Sonic Team, you did such a good job on the first one! Please, make a sequel that probably doesn't suck as bad, but still sucks. Oh! And, while you're add it, add another -bleep-ing Sonic character!!

(Everyone's jaws dropping.)

MSX - What? Oh. -removes censored bar- I said 'flipping'. Anyways, come on! As much as I love the series, it doesn't mean that you have to make like Pokemon and add half a dozen new characters whenever you release a new game. I mean, this is truly starting to piss me off.

(Amy's head exploded.)

Sonic - You said a bad word!

MSX - Yeah, like what? The second, maybe third, in the entire fic? Big whoop. I give this game a C-. I'm tired of Sonic Rush, which I dislike, and new characters, which is starting to become a bit cliché.

Sonic - Well, that went by… moderately fast.

MSX - I know, but I'm about to share my ideas for future games with you.

Silver - Oh, joy…

MSX - First off, remake S3&K for the Wii or something. That game was awesome. Next, make a game with me. -poses-

Amy - You don't exist.

MSX - Look, buddy. I'm not Freddy Kreuger. Stop trying.

(Amy snaps her fingers in defeat.)

MSX - Next, make an RPG! All my favorite game characters have one! Megaman. Klonoa. Hell, Mario's had at least three! Come on, Sonic Team! Jump on the bandwagon and start catching up! And while you're at it, make a new system.

Big - Duh…

Shadow - So, what's the point of all this?

MSX - Nothing much. Just slithering past one of my shortest chapter ever.

(MSX turns to Clyde.)

MSX - Clyde, take this down: Mental note. Make sure I've got more material next time.

Clyde - -writes down random hobo gibberish-

(MSX looks at the notepad and translates hobo into English.)

MSX - Excellent! Back to the house!

* * *

Next time: The group honors the greatest comedic team in history. 


	20. Ode To A Python

Sonic Syndrome

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sonic characters, nor do I truly own Metal Sonic EX. It is my friend's idea and the credit goes to him. I'm merely using it as a penname.

* * *

Episode 20

Ode To A Python

* * *

Narrator - This cannot end well…

MSX - It probably won't, so let's go!!

(MSX takes the group into the forest and up to a castle wall.)

MSX - Told you he was French.

(A.N. '' means refer to 'The MSX World Tour'.)

Sonic - What?

Tails - -in French accent- I blow my nose at you, you English pigdogs!

Shadow - Oh… Good luck with that… -skips off while Sonic clacks coconut shells together-

Amy - Odd…

Tails - You're mother was a hamster…

MSX - Understandable.

Sonic - And your father smelt of elderberries!

MSX - Not so much.

(MSX motions to the group and they walk off.)

Amy - Is that Maruichi band?

MSX - What happened to you guys?

Lead Singer - Sir Robin ran away! He quickly ran away, away! And the bastard left us behind to stay!

(MSX exchanges looks with the group.)

Amy - Sonic.

MSX - Sonic.

Tails - -in French accent- English pigdog!

Knuckles - Sonic.

Twiggy - Sonic. Uh, I mean… Hi evewybody!

MSX - Ack! Twiggy! How'd you get here?

Twiggy - Well, God appeawed befowe me and told me to look fow the Holy Gwail.

MSX - You just read that, didn't you?

Twiggy - Eh… Yeah.

(MSX knocks Twiggy into the cosmos.)

MSX - And stay gone!

Knuckles - Nu!

Rouge - What?

Knuckles - I am the Knight Who Says… Nu!

MSX - Okay, I'm Metal Sonic EX. This is Amy and that's Rouge.

Amy - Hey.

Rouge - Yo.

Knuckles - Fools! You will cower before the power of… Nu!

(MSX twitches.)

MSX - Happy?

Knuckles - No. I demand… a sacrifice!

MSX - Great. Amy, you stay here. Rouge, let's go.

Amy - What?!

Rouge - Fine with me.

(MSX and Rouge walk off.)

Silver - You can't leave me here!

Amy - Yeah, you can't leave us… Where'd you come from?

Silver - Well, God appeared before and…

Amy - Yep. Thought so. Heard that story before. -walks off-

Knuckles - Nu!

Blaze - Shut up or I'll make you extra crispy.

Knuckles - Nu!

Blaze - You asked for it!

(MSX and Rouge walk into a pet shop and look around.)

MSX - I think this seems familiar.

Mr. Bolton - Allo, govna!!

MSX - Ah! Foreign people!

(MSX runs outs of the pet store, into the next store, and up to the counter.)

MSX - I'd like to buy some cheese! -pulls out a dead parrot- Hello, Paulie! -pulls out an axe- I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay…

(Someone slaps MSX and comes out of dream mode.)

MSX - Somebody slapped me… I shall now involuntarily kill the closest person.

(Everyone huddles into the corner.)

MSX - Would you look at that?

(An iron knight walks up, smacks everyone across the face with a rubber chicken, and walks off.)

Shadow - The crap?

Knuckles - The toilet!

Shadow - The retard…

Knuckles - Twiggy! Oh, please give me another one!

(Shadow thinks for a second.)

Shadow - That door.

Knuckles - My face!

(Knuckles jumps up and runs face-first into the door, knocking himself out.)

MSX - Good thinking. A gold star for you.

Shadow - Yay.

MSX - Did you know every cast member of Monty Python has an asteroid named after them?

Sonic - Seriously?

MSX - Yeah, and John Cleese also has a species of lemur named after him.

Amy - Cool…

MSX - Did you know the John Cleese was the first person on the BBC to say… something. And, according to him, Graham Chapman wanted him to be the first person to say… something else… at a funeral.

Knuckles - -groggily- If you say so…

MSX - Yeah, there's Monty Python. -pose- Awesome! -unpose- Then, there's… Little Britain… -pose- Infidels! -unpose-

Amy - Stalling for time are we?

MSX - What are you talking about?

(Jet The Hawk kicks the door in.)

Jet - What up?

Big - Who's da birdie?

MSX - That is the latest victim of KFC vandalism.

(Colonel Sanders jumps in, grabs Jet, and walks off.)

Sonic - Betcha he's gonna be hurtin' soon, eh? Nudge, nudge. Say no more!

MSX - Touch me again and I'll make you experience the most unpleasant death my sick, twisted mind can come up with.

Sonic - Right. Point proven.

Amy - Like I said, barely slithering past 'crap' again, eh?

MSX - Ah, shaddup! -punches Amy-

* * *

Next time: The Sonic crew faces off with Dr. Eggman's most diabolical invention ever. 


	21. The Ultimate Evil Returns Again

Sonic Syndrome

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sonic characters, nor do I truly own Metal Sonic EX. It is my friend's idea and the credit goes to him. I'm merely using it as a penname.

* * *

Episode 21

The Ultimate Evil Returns Again

* * *

Narrator - MSX wishes to note that the parts involved Lord T _have_ actually occurred. 

MSX - Got that right!

Dr. Eggman - Booga-booga! I'm Eggman! Have evil machine for you to try and defeat, but you can't! Hahaha! Booga-booga! -flies off-

MSX - Weird.

Sonic - What I find weirder is that he left a claw machine behind.

Amy - Don't you mean crane machine?

Sonic - Meh. Same concept.

Shadow - He wants us to beat it?

Knuckles - How?

Tikal - Easy. Just get all the prizes out using the claw. Or crane.

MSX - I'll go first. -pops in a quarter- Now, using my super-uber-elite skill, I'll…

(As the claw lowers, it simply freezes in place, then goes back to its' default setting.)

MSX - -with fire in eyes- It's on!

-Two hours later…-

Rouge - You can't be serious.

(MSX nows has bags under his eyes as he pops in another quarter.)

MSX - Must not lost to claw machine. Must not lose to fatty, fatty Eggman! Must not lose…

Shadow - Your sanity. Come on.

(As MSX is dragged away, Twiggy comes up, pops a quarter in, gets a prize, and walks off.)

MSX - I will not be outdone by a brownish hedgehog with a speech impediment!!

-Two more hours later…-

Amy - This is ridiculous. He's been out there for two weeks…

-Another one hundred and sixty-four hours later…-

Amy - …and he _still_ won't give up.

Shadow - You have to admit, Eggman got it right on this one. What's he call it? The Egg Machine? The Egg Claw? The Egg Crane? The…

Sonic - Actually, he just calls it a crane machine.

Shadow - Oh… Well, I just assumed that seeing as it was made by Eggman…

Sonic - Don't worry. I made that assumption, too.

(The gang looks out the window as MSX fails again.)

MSX - I've lost a whole dollar.

Tikal - You can survive on a crane machine with just four quarters for two weeks? Is that even possible?

MSX - Babe, I wrote the laws of physics.

Amy - Wouldn't be surprised.

MSX - Well, I did make two weeks go by in one hundred and sixty-eight hours, the time it takes for one week to go by.

Amy - He's right…

Lord T - Poof! Let me try my elite ninja skills! -pops in a quarter- Prepare to be pwned!

-Five days later…-

MSX - Sonic, up and at 'em. We're escorting Lord T away now.

(MSX and Sonic grab Lord T's arms and drag him off.)

Lord T - It's… just not possible… So many quarters… So little time… -breaks free-

MSX - I got him! -tackles Lord T to the ground- You're leaving now!

Lord T - May the curses of the ninjas be upon you, you accursed collaboration of metal, plastic, and entertaining animals of stuff and fluff! Curse you, I say! Curse you!!

Narrator - So, after dragging Lord T to Claw Machine-o-holics Anonymous…

Lord T - My name's Lord T… and… I am a ninja…

Narrator - Sonic tries his luck at the machine.

-One we…-

MSX - Nope! No more of those. I think the readers get the point.

Fourth Wall - -breaks- Why, God? Why?!

MSX - 'Cause I said so.

Fourth Wall - You're not God.

MSX - I am in here! -maniacal laughter- Okay, back to the story.

(So, everyone spends an entire day trying to conquer the claw machine. With mixed results.)

Amy - I did it!

Tikal - Crap!

Rouge - Neat-o.

Shadow - Fool! I am the ultimate life form! You'll bow down… to me! -maniacal laughter-

Sonic - Aw, come on!

Tails - Hehe… Easy as pie…

Knuckles - Pie? I mean… Darn it!

Jet - Poop!

Wave - Turd muffins!

Storm - Um… Crap-a-doodle-doo. Doo.

MSX - Hilarious…

Big - Dur… -drools on claw machine-

MSX - Alright, idiot. On you go.

Metal Sonic - Action: this unit will now unleash an ungodly torrent of cursing!

MSX - Get lost, poser…

Bean - Argh!

Bark - Ack!

Dr. Eggman - Why'd I have to make it so darn evil!

(The Mean Bean Machine robots walk up.)

MSX - Get lost.

(The Mean Bean Machines robots leave.)

MSX - Well, Amy's won. Rouge's won. Even fruit tart Tails won.

(A Flicky slides a quarter in, moves the claw around, gets a prize, grabs it with its' claws, and flies away.)

MSX - Okay, now, Eggman dies.

Eggman - Why? Even I can't beat it?!

MSX - So, you finally make a machine we can't destroy _and_ it doesn't have a weak spot? Why didn't you do that to start with?

Eggman - Dur… -drools on carpet-

Knuckles - Permission to pummel egg person.

MSX - Permission granted.

(Knuckles begins beating up Eggman as Sonic grabs a Sonic plushee with the claw.)

Sonic - I got one!

(The claw stops and drops it.)

Sonic - Gasp! I didn't get it. Figures…

(MSX pops in a quarter.)

MSX - My turn. -gets the Sonic plushee- Awesome!

Sonic - Not awesome!

MSX - And I'll use him as a voodoo doll!

Sonic - So not awesome!

MSX - And I'll name him… Shadow!

Sonic - Ungodly!

Shadow - Cool.

Twiggy - Help me!

(Everyone turns to Twiggy, who's in the claw machine.)

MSX - Twiggy? How'd you get in there?

Twiggy - I don't know and I don't cawe! Just get me out!

MSX - Nah! -walks off-

Twiggy - Don't leave me!!

Next time: Tails…

MSX - Say it…

Narrator - I don't wanna…

MSX - Say it or you'll live to regret.

Narrator - I already do.

MSX - I waiting…

(The narrator sighs.)

Next time: Tails meets his match. May God help us all.


	22. Tails Meets His Match

Sonic Syndrome

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sonic characters, nor do I truly own Metal Sonic EX. It is my friend's idea and the credit goes to him. I'm merely using it as a penname.

* * *

Episode 22

Tails Meets His Match

* * *

Narrator - This is going to be punny, isn't it?

MSX - Yep.

Sonic - And random?

MSX - Probably.

Amy - And short.

MSX - My originality meter is running a bit low, okay? So, just _shaddup_!!

Tails - Curses! Roiled again!

Shadow - Oh God, Not this again.

Sonic - Is there anything that can stop him?

Tikal - What? After he blew up the world with his puns, he really hasn't said anything punny.

Tails - That's 'cause I was charging, but now I'm fully-charged!

Tikal - You're right. He needs help.

MSX - Luckily, I call the number one expert on puns earlier.

Sonic - Really?

MSX - Yep. And, he should be arriving in three… two… one…

(The door is broken down with a sledgehammer and Bugs Bunny stands in the doorway.)

Bugs - Ah… -nibbles carrot- What's up, Doc Kevorkian?

Narrator - I'm gone. -leaves-

Shadow - Okay, you've hired a Looney Tune to help.

Bugs - Why not? -throws sledgehammer onto Cream- Hold that, sweetheart. So, you're Tails, huh?

Tails - Yeah… What happened to the rest of the gang, like Elmer Fudd.

Bugs - Oh, we found out he was crazy, so I melted him into glue.

(Silence follows.)

Amy - Daffy Duck?

Bugs - Ya guys like Chinese takeout?

Tikal - Sylvester?

Bugs - Name's Curi. Curiosity.

Sonic - Tweety?

Bugs - Never stood a chance against that airplane windshield.

Shadow - Porky Pig?

Bugs - Went wee-wee-wee straight into the slaughterhouse.

Knuckles - Wily E. Coyote?

Bugs - Dropped the F-Bomb.

MSX - Marvin The Martian?

Bugs - Got abducted by aliens.

Twiggy - Taz?

Bugs - Shouted and twisted.

Cream - -muffled- Roadrunner?

Bugs - Actually, Sonic killed him. Better watch where you're running.

Tails - Heh… -goes to sneak off-

MSX - Get back here! You will face him until you have realized the error of your ways!

Tails - But, if I don't want to?

Bugs - No butts, heads, kneecaps, or ears, mister! You're staying.

Tails - Stop it, fiend!

Bugs - -stops a bus- Anything else?

Tails - Ah!

Bugs - …pplesauce.

Tails - Um... Um… Uh… Racecar!

Bugs - Racecar.

Tails - I just said that.

Bugs - No, you didn't. I said what you said backwards.

Tails - Evil!

Bugs - You called?

Tails - Be gone!

Gone - Anything else?

Tails - I can't stand it!

Bugs - Here. -hands Tails a chair- Sit down.

Tails - Brain… melting!!

(Bugs shoves some ice cubes into Tails ears.)

Bugs - Better?

Tails - Brainfreeze!! -rolls around on the ground- You're the most diabolic fiend I've ever known! You like some kind of contagious disease or something!

Bugs - Well, I am rabbit…

Tails - Leave me alone!

Bugs - Alone's already left.

Tails - I'm serious!

Bugs - I'm Bugs.

Tails - Why have you forsaken me God?!

Bugs - I've got a list for this one. -unrolls a scroll-

Tails - Help me!

Bugs - -pulls Me out of quicksand- Anything else?

Tails - Yes!

Bugs - No!

Tails - Maybe so?

Bugs- Perhaps.

Tails - -crying- Mommy! Mommy!

Sonic - Dude, this is harsh.

MSX - I know. But it must be done.

Tikal - MSX, do something.

MSX - I am doing something. I'm enjoying this while eating popcorn. -pops a kernel into his mouth-

Bugs - I'm waiting.

Tails - I'm Tails! Ha! I got one!

Bugs - -holds up plastic numbers- Well, I've got two and three.

Tails - I've got a plane!

Bugs - I've got my own star in Hollywood!

Tails - I've got issues!

Bugs - I know you do.

Tails - You are evil and I strike you down!

Bugs - -dressed as an umpire- Three strikes! You're out!

Tails - No, I'm Tails.

Bugs - And I'm getting annoyed with how many times you keep using that line.

Tails - Oh, yeah! Well… Well… I'm Tails!

(Bugs beams Tails in the head with the sledgehammer.)

Bugs - I'm waiting.

(Tails pulls out a Nerf gun.)

Bugs - Miles has a gun! Sonic's calling 911.

Sonic - No, I'm not.

Bugs - Work with me.

Tails - You're finished!

Bugs - Actually, I'm about 7'2".

Tails - -shoots Bugs in the foot- How do you like me now?!

Bugs - Aw, shoot. Looks like my luck just ran out.

Tails - No… I cannot be defeated… No!! -evaporates-

MSX - Um… Thanks?

Bugs - Don't mention it. -walks off-

(A long silence follows.)

Shadow - Who wants to watch The Munsters?

Sonic - I'm in!

* * *

Next time: MSX makes fun of the comic series. 


	23. Comical Relief

Sonic Syndrome

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sonic characters, nor do I truly own Metal Sonic EX. It is my friend's idea and the credit goes to him. I'm merely using it as a penname.

* * *

Episode 23

Comical Relief

* * *

Narrator - And now, the exciting premiere of… The Adventures of WTF Man!!

(MSX jumps onto a building with a Speedo on.)

Narrartor - He's WTF Man, with the powers of What The Crap?. He fights…

MSX - For justice, whether it be frozen in a block of ice or being hunted down by the Burger King king! -flies off-

Narrator - Today's episode. WTF Man Vs. Satan.

MSX - Stop right there, Satan! Put those diapers down!

Satan - -is a deformed teen with a hunchback- Never! -shoots at MSX-

(MSX freezes the bullets and snaps his fingers, the bullets suddenly have clothes and a doing the limbo.)

Satan - Wha?!

MSX - Boom! -punches Satan- Bang! -kicks Satan- Pow! -beats Satan with a rubber hose- Victory is mine!

Random Passerby - Thank you, WTF Man!

MSX - Don't thank me! Thank the powers of sped! -flies off-

Narrator - On the next episode of WTF Man, WTF Man goes against the undead zombie of Steve Irwin.

MSX - Crickey! It's an undead Australian! This little bugga's gonna be pretty tough ta beat!

Narrator - Meanwhile, in the Sonic residence…

Sonic - Show looks stupid.

MSX - Well, excuse me…

Shadow - Yeah, the comics were better.

Sonic - Yeah… Like mine!

(MSX snorts.)

MSX - Let's take a trip down memory lane, 'kay?

Tails - Can't… make… puns…

(MSX and the gang enter a swirling vortex.)

MSX - This is the first issue of the Archie comic series. -holds up comic- And this is the first issue of the Sonic comic series. -holds up another comic- Which one looks more appealing? -tosses first comic away-

MSX - Okay, I can see that they only intended this for five issues. The humor in this is so… so…

Shadow - -looks at comic- Slapstick?

MSX - Yeah! I mean look at this. 'Come on, kids! Help Sonic with your Sega Genesis controller.' Most kids just turned the page, but you know there has to have been at least one retard who went 'Okay!' -furiously smashes buttons on controller-

Knuckles - Um… Yeah… Hehe… Some… retard…

Sonic - I feel bad for you.

MSX - So, do I. The only actual issue I've owned is I think #64, which celebrated Sonic's sixteenth birthday. Compare that issue to the first one and tell me which one looks more professional.

Knuckles - The first one!

(A brief silence follows.)

MSX - No wonder your series was cancelled. Anyways, I like the fact that they do game adaptations in here. The Adventure games. The classic titles. Even Sonic Riders got an adaptation, despite the fact that it got repetitive within an hour or two.

Sonic - It did not! You said you liked!

MSX - That's 'cause NiGHTS was in there. That's all, I assure you.

Jet -Yeah, right!

MSX - Shove it, bird! You were the single most annoying character in the game! I couldn't stand you! Anyways, I think it's time I revealed my top five favorite moments in the series. I've only owned one issue, but I've read several. 5.) Knuckles' expression when he learned about his brother, Kneecapion Mace.

Knuckles - Say what now?!

MSX - I had to prevent myself from unleashing uproarious laughter inside a comic shop when I saw that. 4.) Nack gets his own. Kidnapping a princess. Cliché. Demanding a ransom for the princess' safe return. Cliché. Watching Nack get kneed in the groin by the princess. Awesome.

Nack - It wasn't funny!

MSX - It was very funny. Now leave! You're not supposed to be here. -kicks Nack into the cosmos- Now, where was I?

Shadow - Number three.

MSX - Right! 3.) The Sonic Underground. I don't know about you, but I liked the show. Shame it was cancelled… Anyways, seeing those three in the comic together just brought a fuzzy feeling to my heart.

Amy - You're starting to sound really gay.

MSX - Well, I'm not! 2.) Oh Snap!: The Story Of How Eggman Was Pwned By Every Freedom Fighter On The Planet. Honestly, two whole pages of Freedom Fighters getting ready to pwn Eggman? I couldn't ask for anything more enjoyable!

Eggman - Yeah, har har. Let's all laugh at me.

(Everyone begins laughing at Eggman.)

MSX - -laughing at Eggman-

Sonic - -laughing at Eggman-

Eggman's Robots - -laughing at Eggman-

Earth - -laughing at Eggman-

God - -laughing at Eggman- Whoo! I really screwed up on that one!

Eggman - -runs off crying-

MSX - Stop laughing!

(Everyone stops laughing.)

MSX - And, the number one favorite moment is… Sonic Vs. Th Ultimate Villain. From what I've heard, a lot of people had different theories on who it was. Many said Tails. Others said Sally. And a few selected retards said Antoine. But, I would've paid to see their faces when it turned out to be Super Sonic.

Sonic - Me fighting Super Sonic? Ugh…

Shadow - Well, there is a bright side.

Sonic - What?

Shadow - You'd fight him during the Last Story.

(Clyde does a rimshot.)

MSX - Very funny you two. Now, my top five least favorite moments.

Tikal - Oh, joy…

MSX - 5.) The Sonic Clones. Okay, game-wsie, there's Silver Sonic, Metal Sonic, Super Sonic, Hyper Sonic, and Shadow. Easy as pie to remember. With the comics, you've got…

Shadow - This isn't going to be pretty…

MSX - …Silver Sonic, Metal Sonic, Mecha Sonic, The Mettalix, Evil Sonic, Alternate Universe Sonic, Evil Super Sonic, Shadow, Intergalactic Sonic, Interdimensional Sonic, Sonic From The Future, Sonic From The Alternate Future, Sonic From The Alternate Alternate Future, and God knows what else.

Sonic - Wow. People must like me.

MSX - Or, Archie's just running out of original ideas, which will be discussed later. 4.) Snively. It's like… What's the point? What's he do? Nothing. That's what. He does nothing. So, why's he in the comic? I can deal with the cartoon, but the comics just going to far.

Big - Uh… Dur…

MSX - Shut up, Big. 3.) The Minor Major Villains.

Rouge - The what?

MSX - The minor Major Villains. The 'major' villains that appear in one issue, disappear, and appear again for another issue like two years later.

Amy - Really?

MSX - Really.

Tails - Such as?

MSX - Ixus Naugus, Mammoth Mogul, and Sleuth Doggy Dog to name a few.

Shadow - Sleuth Doggy Dog?

MSX - Complain to Archie. Anyways, if you've got a comic based on a famous game, make the villain in the game, the main villain in the comic. I don't care if he makes robots or whatnot, but don't bring in 'villains' that were made using only half of your brain.

Tails - Actually…

MSX - Shut up. 2.) The Trapped In Space Saga. Okay, four or five issues of nothing but Sonic in space? If I wanted something like that, I'd play the Doomsday Zone. But, come on! Seven parts? True, he fought Super Sonic and found Tails' parents, but so what? Slap it into one or two issues and call it quits!

Tikal - Actually…

MSX - Shut up. And then, when he gets home, he's been gone for a year?! What the crap?! It took about fives months to write what happened in a year? No, absolutely not. Make it two months and I'm good. But a year is just overdoing it.

Big - Uh…

MSX - Shut up. And, the number one thing I hate about the comic series is…

Knuckles - I…

MSX - Shut up! The number one thing is… I don't have every issue yet! -roars with anger-

Shadow - Guys, we need to talk in private.

MSX - -in a demonic tone- I will devour your souls.

Shadow - Now.

* * *

Next time: The cast finally find a way to end their torture. 


	24. Moving Out

Sonic Syndrome

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sonic characters, nor do I truly own Metal Sonic EX. It is my friend's idea and the credit goes to him. I'm merely using it as a penname.

* * *

Episode 24

Moving Out

* * *

Narrator - The last episode? -walks out from behind wall-

(Everyone on the planet gasps.)

Clyde - What?

MSX - Very nice, Narrator man. Now go! Prance through the tulips and you will find your hooch!

Clyde - Yay! -prances off-

Knuckles - MSX, we need to talk.

MSX - Okay, about what?

Sonic - It's a unanimous decision.

MSX - What is?

Tikal - We've done our best to deal with it.

MSX - Get to the point or I'll kill you all.

Tails - That's just it! We're tired off being killed!

Amy - We've decided that you need to…

MSX - Scrub the toilet. Sweep the kitchen. Vacuum once in a while.

Shadow - …move out…

(A long silence follows before MSX waves his hands towards the group.)

MSX - A pox to you all.

Sonic - We've been vaccinated.

MSX - Crap…

(MSX sighs, then whistles.)

Chazzo - -salutes-

MSX - Chazzo, we've been voted off of Survivor: Sonic's Place.

Chazzo - -puts on headband-

MSX - They've been vaccinated.

Chazzo - -snaps fingers-

MSX - Come on! We must pack!

(MSX goes upstairs and Chazzo goes up the stairs backwards while shaking his head.)

Tikal - Something tells me that bad things are about to happen.

Knuckles - Could it be the homicidal Chao shaking its' head at us?

Shadow - It's more than likely.

(Everyone goes upstairs and sees MSX shoves a couch into a duffel bag.)

Sonic - Does that even apply to the laws of physics?

MSX - I wrote the laws of physics.

Shadow - Wouldn't be surprised…

(MSX throws a book to Shadow.)

Shadow - opens book- No way!

Amy - What?

Shadow - The Laws of Physics. Written by Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Abraham Lincoln, Sir Isaac Newton, and Metal Sonic EX.

Tails - You're kidding me!

Shadow - Nope. Wait… Foreword by Clyde the Hobo?

MSX - Don't ask. -shoves a bunch of game systems into the bag of no return- I need that book back.

Knuckles - So, now what?

MSX - Now, we celebrate!!

(Confetti falls from the ceiling and it spontaneous turns into night.)

MSX - Now, the guests. -holds up a bat- Open the door!

(Shadow opens the door.)

Bean - Yo! -gets beamed into the cosmos-

Bark - What's… -gets beamed into the cosmos-

Metal Sonic - All your base… -gets beamed into the cosmos-

Eggman - Mwahahoohaha!! It is I, Doctor Egg… -gets beamed into the cosmos-

Twiggy - Hi, evewybody!

(Twiggy shrugs, takes a step forward, and is beamed into the cosmos by MSX.)

Jet - I'm… -gets beamed into the cosmos-

Wave - What… -gets beamed into the cosmos-

Storm - Uh… -gets beamed into the cosmos-

Big - Froggy?

MSX - No Froggy for you! -beams Big into the cosmos-

Sliver - Hi! -flinches- Oh, cool… -walks in-

Blaze - -walks in- Hi…

MSX - Hi…

Mephiles - Hi…

MSX - Sweet! -lets Mephiles in-

Omega - I'm a robot! -gets beamed into the cosmos-

Chaos - -makes bubbly noises-

(MSX swings the bat, but to no avail.)

MSX - Eh… Come in.

Tails - Hi!

MSX - Stay out! -beams Tails into the cosmos-

Sonic - Why'd Tails crawl through the window?

Shadow - I dunno.

(The Mean Bean Machine robots walk up.)

Arms - We… -gets beamed into the cosmos-

Sparky - Are… -gets beamed into the cosmos-

Humpty - Getting… -gets beamed into the cosmos-

Davy Sprocket - Tired… -gets beamed into the cosmos-

Squeel - Of… -gets beamed into the cosmos-

Grounder - Being… -gets beamed into the cosmos-

Dynamite - Hit… -gets beamed into the cosmos-

Spike - Around… -gets beamed into the cosmos-

Sir Ffuzzy Logik - All… -gets beamed into the cosmos-

Dragon Breath - Of… -gets beamed into the cosmos-

Scratch - The… -gets beamed into the cosmos-

Eggman - Time!! -gets beamed into the cosmos again

Shadow - That was absolutely pointless. -gets beamed into the cosmos-

Sonic - Shadow! -gets beamed into the cosmos-

Amy - Sonic! -gets beamed into the cosmos-

Cream - Amy! -gets beamed into the cosmos-

Cheese - -makes Chao noises and gets beamed into the cosmos-

Tikal - Cheese! -gets beamed into the cosmos-

Knuckles - Tikal! -gets beamed into the cosmos-

Tails - Knuckles! -gets beamed into the cosmos-

MSX - Anyone left? -looks around- Nope. Excellent. -throws bat aside and yawns- Well, time for bed Chazzo. -falls down onto back-

Clyde - The next morning…

(Sonic and the gang open the door and drag their sore bodies in.)

Shadow - At least it didn't kill us.

(MSX rises to his feet.)

MSX - Ah! Excellent! What's on the agenda for today?!

Amy - You… Leaving… Now…

MSX - Fine! -grabs duffel bag- Come on, Chazzo!

(Chazzo walks out with the refrigerator on his back.)

Sonic - That's ours!

MSX - Take it from him then.

(Chazzo glares at Sonic, then keeps walking.)

Sonic - Why you…

MSX - Enjoy life. -walks outside- What a great stay. What'd you think?

Chazzo - -makes Chao noises-

MSX - My thoughts exactly. It's a shame it ended… Oh well! -walks down the street-

Clyde - Inside the house…

Sonic - Thank God… -opens bathroom door- Ack!

(Everyone runs up just as a fuse reaches an ungodly amount of explosives.)

Shadow - That two-timing…

(The house explodes and MSX smirks.)

MSX - I always have the last laugh. -laughs uproariously- The end! -continues laughing-

* * *

Thanks to those who read it and thanks to Kinetikai for letting me use Metal Sonic EX as a penname and for making Twiggy. Well, chances are that I won't make a sequel, but I'll consider it. Until then, Read and Review and I'll see you next time!! 


End file.
